Hello children
How are we celebrating Blue Star being an old dwarf today? I will do so by having a ten hour shift, which will be lovely.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

i've broken my mcf rattler, sadtimes

( mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Blimey! What will you do?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

buy a new one i suppose
another 20 quid down
( mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

what does one of them do?

( MrA, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

It rattles

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

it provides brilliant drop back bite indication

( mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

oh noes!
use a float!
( MrA, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

i have other ones, i'll use those, i like the rattlers tho, they are nice and heavy
don't get no false indications from the small fish or the wind
( mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

I was having a PANIC but It's ok now.
I have a concert tomorrow and I realised, although I booked and paid for the hotel room a few months ago, that the card I booked the room with had expired and I've not received my replacement yet. Which could cause buggery when I went to check in.
I phoned the hotel and told the phone monkey about my problem. He replied "The card you used to pay doesn't expire till next year..."
I told him the expiry date (last month) and he changed his tune. Said it wouldn't be a problem then went completely silent till I just said thank you and goodbye. Cock.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

Deep breaths

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

Who wants to walk the streets of Glasgow at all hours of the morning?!
The fucking bell-end can't even read the date.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

Now you mention it
Mine runs out on 06/09. I have a hotel booked in That London for the beginning of the month.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

I phoned the bank last week and they apologised profusely.
Swore my replacement would be here by the end of this week.
Cunts.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

london?!?!?!?!?1
wow you should like totally come and see me, and we could have a cup of tea in the ritz and that
( mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

Look
I've already spent an arm and a leg getting a hotel Up West. I'm taking sarnies and a flask.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

we could sit in hyde park, and that and have a cup of tea
not on a deck chair tho, they charge for those
( mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

A romantic picnic in the park.
The Sean Tully in him is probably moist at the thought.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

don't tell him but i will take a book of poetry and read it to him whilst feeding him grapes

( mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

Genuine lol.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

:(

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

Mwah! xx

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

To be honest
I don't want to meet you. I fear the unfamiliar and I will actually be trying to get bollocksed so I can sleep through Mama Mia while the missus enjoys herself.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

i bet he's absolutely gutted now

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

don't tell him but i am really heart broken
i've been planning all this since he first mentioned he was coming to london in this thread, the time i've wasted :((((
( mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

I'm such a bitch

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

chin up and that
he smells of piss anyway. the lengths i go to, to avoid the old cunt when i'm passing through yorkshire. tiring it is.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

Next time I will follow the scent
It pervades, you know.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

i do not bash

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Not what I've heard

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

yer, hearing's one of the first things to go when you're old

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

Oh I heard it loud and clear, dear.
Along with the deafening hum of flies screaming for mercy as they tried to escape your cavernous clunge.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

i don't do sex either
fuck knows who you've been talking to
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

Bog doors all over the country attest to your prowess

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

well, that's all my plans thrown out of the window
i suppose i will have to find someone else to share my time with, good day to you sir
( mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

Makes a change from the other way round.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

I'll twat thee

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

Im on fire today.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

*tsssssst finger thing*

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

*clicks fingers then finger guns at you*

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Did he sing "The card you used to pay doesn't expire till next year..."
To the tune of She'll be Coming Round the Mountain when she Comes?
( Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

No.
Cos that doesn't fit.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

The card you used to pay, doesn't expire till next year
The card you used to pay, doesn't expire till next year
The card you used to pay doesn't expire
used to pay doesn't expire
The card you used to pay, doesn't expire till next year
:)
( Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

No.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

it could
if you shortened some of the words.
"t'card you used t'pay does not expire til next year"
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

and lengthen "used" = uuuused
and "doesn't expire" is fast
( Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

Aye
I like you. Have my b3ta babies?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

*bumovulates*
*bends over*
( Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

/pulls on strap on
/impregnates.

yay. b3ta bubs on the way!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

So what you're saying is...
It doesn't work (unless you change it...)
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

it's still the same phrase
just changing 'ow you say it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

That sounds like an Obamanism
I'd go with "phrasing it properly" ;)
( Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

Phone monkey?
Since when has a hotel receptionist, who almost singlehandedly represents the hotel you are staying at, been demoted to a phone monkey?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

When they are a cock.
Who can't read a bloody date. Can't say you're welcome or goodbye and was basically just impolite and didn't bother to trouble themselves to reassure a customer.
If it wasn't for the fact I've been to this hotel before and I like it I'd be increasingly worried that I was going to some hovel.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

Still, there's no need to be nasty.
Feel the love. Hate the hate.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

No.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

9 days until my 21st! YEAH!

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

Aww.
You're only ickle...

Bless.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

I was 21 in Portugal
Of course, it was called Lusitania in those days.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

lucky you
its... nearly 4 years to my 21st :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

that's good eating

( mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

Tidying and doing fuck all, probably.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

It's as good as a loafing session

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

I just spend £100 on a printer and what not so I can print my dissertation

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

I might suggest it would be cheaper to borrow a mate's printer,
But what do I know?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

he'd have to buy some friends first, i suggest holding a comedy night

( mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

Failing that
Give minors some drugs
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

Mate's printer wouldn't be good enough.
The universities printer would cost me about £40/£50 for all the printing I need to do.

This way, I have a high quality printer for future use and can print my dissertation without it looking shit.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:23, archived)