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Oh Turnips, you fucking failure.
I just noticed that there is a small boy on the Dettol ad who looks remarkably like Malchick.

Are you disturbed enough to see b3tans where there are no b3tans?
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:27, archived)
Not really.
B3tans are people too you know.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:28, archived)
LIES!

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:28, archived)
They are monstrous bastardisations of the human race,
but humans never the less.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:29, archived)
I saw that too, oh MoT, you post failure.
I dreamt of Limey the other night if that counts. She was visiting my missus in hospital. I have shit dreams.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:29, archived)
LOL SOMEONE ACCIDENTLY CLICKED "POST NEW MESSAGE" INSTEAD OF REPLY
WHAT A FUCKING CUNT, EH?
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:30, archived)
lol
i no u r, u sed u r , so wot am i?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:31, archived)
Lovely.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:31, archived)
True fact

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:32, archived)
Did they start lezzing off?

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:31, archived)
No
I kicked off because I was meant to be there first. She'd caught her foot in a garage door, she needed man sympathy!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:31, archived)
For "Man Sympathy"
read "endless belittling and telling her to leave things like the garage door to men in the future."
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:33, archived)
I have no idea who the garage door belonged to.
Neither of us have one.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:34, archived)
Fucking hell
Piston Broke gag from facebook "Jordon and Peter Andre splitting? I'll bet her son Harvey didn't see that one coming..."
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:33, archived)
Oh for fuck's sake.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:36, archived)
This is one of many reasons I did not add him as a friend.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:36, archived)
Never met the chap (PB)
Seems like a nice bloke, much maligned. I always favour the underdog. Not a fan of pack mentality.
(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:40, archived)
No
My point being he's doing stand up soon. This is a marker of quality.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:42, archived)
I seem to remember he managed to start an argument with me at my bash within ten minutes of meeting me after i bought him a pint.
Impressive.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:50, archived)
Haha, fucking hell.
He is Captain Socially Retarded.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:51, archived)
And then stickylabel was kicked out for starting fires
Good times
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:55, archived)
Oh I've heard about that.
Did he set beer mats on fire or something?
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:59, archived)
Yeah something like that
I was away at the bar at the time, it was slightly embarressing as i was on friendly terms with the staff there
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:00, archived)
Argh, that's shit.
Have you been back since?
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:01, archived)
I actually had to leave Oxford and move to Aberdeen
FACT
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:07, archived)
Good lord!

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:09, archived)
you had a bash without me? :((((((((

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:06, archived)
You were there you muppet!
Or was that the one before?

I forget:(
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:08, archived)
Is he a bellend too?
Let's get all the character assassinations out of the way.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:00, archived)
Based on the ten minutes I spent in his company three years ago,
he mainly came across as odd and a bit shifty.

Apparently, on arriving he sat in silence for about half an hour, then used the classic opening gambit: "Are you one of the cunts?"
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:03, archived)
At least he knows how to get on peoples good sides.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:05, archived)
Quality

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:09, archived)
I didn't help by calling him boring at the HB piss up I went to
He gave me a dig in the belly. Either that or a small girl breathed on my midriff as she floated silently past.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:56, archived)
Now is that because he is weak and weedy,
or your belly is so big that you couldn't feel him punch you?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:57, archived)
I'm quite svelt I'll have you know

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:59, archived)
You are, and all.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:00, archived)
My ale gut is all but gone
Lost ten pounds over recent month
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:08, archived)
Ghey

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:10, archived)
Jayis.
Noit has got quare skinny, aswell.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:11, archived)
i thought that
then i met him.. it was only CHB's lacking of a rope that stopped my tying him to a lamppost down the street.
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:42, archived)
We saw a rope attached to a car towbar the next morning
alas, too late.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:44, archived)
Everyone thinks that until they meet him.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:44, archived)
I had to spend an hour and a half on a train with him once.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:45, archived)
Oh fucking hell :(

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:46, archived)
I know, right?

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:47, archived)
He's the only person ever to have taken a personality test
and failed it.
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:53, archived)
Let's have a bash at an airport,
that results in him on a plane without his wallet or phone. Or his passport if we can somehow manage that.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:55, archived)
He is fundamentally a good lad.
The problem is, if experienced in anything more than very small doses, he is unbelievably annoying.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:58, archived)
^This.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:58, archived)
Correct

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:00, archived)
I saw a lass who looked a lot like her on the way up to yours.
She got off at Steeton if I remember rightly.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:53, archived)
This rings a bell.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:58, archived)
What did he do?

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:30, archived)
He replied by posting a new post
CAPITAL OFFENCE
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:30, archived)
Had his kneecaps removed by the Murphia.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:30, archived)
I've never met a single one of you
you might be everywhere I look
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:30, archived)
This worries me sometimes.
Or when I'm bitching on here about someone that they may be a lurker.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:32, archived)
fuck 'em
simples
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:35, archived)
I just signed up for a LOLB4SH in July.
When I clicked on the profile of the person hosting it, I realised that I've met her several times in real life.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:37, archived)
Stalker?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:37, archived)
I had no idea who it was when I signed up, it was just close to where I live.
She's from QOTW :(
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:39, archived)
not since Channel 4 stopped showing the sumo wrestling

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:50, archived)
This video is quite good, as it's got dancing monkeys in it
taj.chass.ncsu.edu/Hindi.Less.02/movies/lesson2WithMovie.html
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:01, archived)