I am so devoid of ideas today
I cant even think of anything insulting to say about anyone.

How can I heal myself of this ailment ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Hiya

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I imagined you saying that
in the voice of Charles Hawtrey.

Hello.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

Take MOT off ignore.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

Fall out with JMG at top speed.
Girls will FANCY you.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

HOW MAN
BALD, DOLE, RELEGATION, REPETITION, PET !
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

YOU FAHHHKIN' FAAAAHG!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

SHATTIT YOU CAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNT !!!!

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

I like you JMG
but I cannot wait for Newcastle to get relegated. It gives me the massive horn
(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

This is the view of most people who'd call in to TalkSport.
We've hammered most sides at some point. I'm not surprised to hear bitter callers lately.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

I remember the time you beat us (Arsenal) 5-1 in 01/02 season*
I have not forgiven this Jammie

*this is my recollection, I was listening to it on the radio in December I think. I may be wrong, I am after all a ZOMGURL
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

I can't recall beating Arsenal 5-1.
But I'm having this, regardless.

...Was it at Highbury? 1-3?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

I don't know
I was 16 and I was upset.

It may well have been three one.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

Yep
on my birthday. Top evening out.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

Other fans arent bitter beause of past defeats
mostly they are worried that sometime soon you're going to get hold of a decent manager, sign some proper players and stop being an easy 4-6 points a season for any half decent side.

Better you lot go down and keep the likes of Hull up so we can be sure there will be 4 or 5 really shit sides in the mix next year to keep everyone safe from relegation.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

the voice of reason speaks!

(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

Go to your local student boozer.
Or pick on me, your local easy target. I talk a lot, you know. That's VILE.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

Communication is the biggest crime in human history

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

I am the Hitler of words.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Just as long as you aren't Alia Atreides

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

I could tell you about my taste in music?

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

Go on then

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

Well at the moment, I'm listening to a lot of Lady Gaga and Katy Perry.
My favourite bands are Fightstar, McFly, Taking Back Sunday and Bring Me The Horizon. I also quite like Metro Station.

Sometimes, I like to download Metallica and then delete it, because it is shit.
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Down with this sort of thing

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

I'm a big fan of the Dolly Rockers

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

That's because you're a horndog
Did you listen to the song or just masturbate with the video on mute?
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

I'm humming the tune now.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

The tune you sing when you wank over them?
"Oh yeah, I'm sure one of you is quite gobby, but, who cares, I am fooled by the fact you are wearing 6 inch heels and short skirts"
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

all I can remember is dah dah da da Eifel.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

oh and "flash your pants cos you can can"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

here's the full lyrics
www.onlylyrics.com/hits.php?grid=1&id=1033440
I think an Ivor Novello is in the pipeline.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

Maybe in the "written by slags" category.

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

I once met the lead singer of BMTH
In the Route 66 nightclub in Portsmouth. He was a thoroughly nice chap, i'm not keen on the music though.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

I think they played in our local about a year ago, if I remember rightly.
If I do, they were fucking poor, and all haircutty.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

They are a solid example of
style over substance.

I'm hugely eclectic with my musical tastes, they just do nothing for me.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

I must hit them all.
cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/7/4/1/1/0/5/1/orig-7411051.jpg

1st in from right looks like Scarlet Johannson's 7 year old little sister.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

FETCH ME MY CLIPPERS OF DOOM

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

Try and slip whilst you're doing it.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'm sure that fire would be quicker

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

Indeed!
Short back and sides for the lot of 'em!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

5 years maximum
and they'll be doing telesales.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Nothing wrong with telesales
At least you get to speak to people.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

to at
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

I used to. Back when I was a wee bairn.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

I did it for a couple of weeks one summer
I found it pretty soul destroying cold calling. I went back to farm labouring instead.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

I did it for a few months
and then went back to bar work.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

what were you doing in a club in my city?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

I would most likely have been a Monday night
So it would have been rock night.

I was in Portsmouth at uni, i was in halls pretty much opposite Route 66.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Throw things.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

Shapes ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

That'd be good.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

MAKE PIE!
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

spring water?
you massive gay
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

It's water that's been bounced off a spastic's face back into the bottle

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Use piss if it makes you happy.
I don't care.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

you do, as you would want some

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

FUCKING EPIC :)
How long do we cook for on 180 though?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

we?
voices in head again?
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

DG counts as two people he's so fucking cool.
Me & Cher.

We also talk in the third person.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

p.s. Cher just told me she thinks you're a skip lobster

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

thanks for chering that with me
see what I DID THERE hur hur hur
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

about 30mins or until braaaaaaaaan.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

I've never ever made a pie.
I'm by myself ALL week next week, fending for myself and I can't be fucked to get any of the girls around to cook for me so I'm going to do it myself.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

you`ll be shitting yourself inside eating all that cereal and chocolate

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

I can cook (a handful of things), it's just that I'm lazy and young women willing to impress do it for free...sorta.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

i fucking love you

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

Looks good!
Steak and beer is always a good combination in a pie.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

I'm not a massive pie fan
but I wouldn't mind a nibble on yours
( broadsword, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

"fuck" "off"

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Rip off your own eyelids
and staple them to your cock
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

therapy not working then i take it

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

Do you work for the CIA?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

+10 points
if he sticks them on half over some googly eyes.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

i couldn't possibly have an opinion on how you can remedy your malise, sorry, no offence

( mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

Few Stellas with vodka chasers should sort it

( broadsword, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

vodka chasers
like Malcolm?

mmmmm spotty underwear
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

Listen to Baldmonkey's podcast.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:05, archived)