Silent Hill Homecoming.
I shot my mother in the head to put her out of her misery. In a dream world my father was cut in two, top to bottom with a huge sword, and the story culminated with my father drowning me in the bath.

What do you do to have fun of an evening?
( Druid, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:25, archived)

I stuff squirrels to make a squirrel army.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

I read that as a squirrel amy

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:55, archived)

I'm intrigued
your father managed to drown you while bisected?
That's not bad going. Remind me to buy him a pint.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

The key phrase was 'in a dream world'

( Druid, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

The same world where wynoh buys a pint.

( thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

And Woodside for that matter.
And where Piston's fighting the women off with a stick.
( Druid, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:28, archived)

haha

( thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

I was perfectly happy with him drinking half my Spitfire at your housewarming.
I didn't even hardly say owt.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:31, archived)

What about when he invited himself into Chicken's round? Then into my round?
And when he helped himself to my crisps? We were all laughing about that later :)
( Druid, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

Oh he's such a card

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:36, archived)

Quite so
although I've got a job now, in a couple of weeks I will be able to buy all the pints I want.
:D
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

Go you!

( thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:31, archived)

It's not all good
I'm going into marketing. I've sold my soul for shiny coins.
Oh well, at least it wasn't my arse.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:32, archived)

You could always sell your arse at weekends.

( thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:33, archived)

You haven't seen my arse
I'm not sure there'd be any market for it.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

cattle market?

( thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

Never worked so far.

( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

Oh dear.
Then best of luck with the marketing :)
( thealternativefact, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

Ta!

( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

It will be eventually
they'll be like "oh well, we could use your idea, but you know what would really convince us" and then one of them will smile and the other will tap your buttocks with a riding cane.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

Play with a hoop and a stick.
Or drink booze and spout bollocks on and offline.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

There isn't enough hoop and stick these days for my liking

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

I fucking love mint sauce.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

Drink.
To numb the endless pain and misery.

Sometimes I play nintendo.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

Other nights I like to watch pages from CEEFAX.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

CEEFAX is a poor man's internet.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

poor real
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:33, archived)

You're not even half the boy that the top half of Nate was after you cut him in half.

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

The wrong kid died

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

That was a daft film.
Not as good as Anchorman. Best of all the daft American comedy films featuring Will Ferrell and Seth Rogan.
( Druid, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

I hate you Druid,

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 26 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

I like you.

( Druid, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

curtain twitch

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Tue 26 May 2009, 22:32, archived)

I keep leaning on my keyboard tray with my elbow,
but I've done it too much and now it keeps collapsing, every five minutes I almost end up on the floor because leaning on it is a habit.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:33, archived)

The other night I was lying in bed after watching an episode of Black Books with Spacefish,
I'd had a couple of pints of homebrew, and drifted off for a bit. I had a dream that was vaguely Black Books in theme, but I don't remember any details. I woke up with a start, and asked Spacefish, "did you just make a child of me?"
I don't know what that means. I was a bit confused for a short while though, until I turned and saw the rest of my pint on the bedside table, which at the time seemed to explain everything.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:33, archived)

Did you have a sore bumhole?

( Druid, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

no more than usual

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:41, archived)

At the moment it's stupid healthy food and exercise
With south park or c-Mon & kypski on in the background.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 26 May 2009, 22:33, archived)