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The anuual spring clean has just produced a gram of coke from under a cupboard
BEST CLEANING EVER.

What's made your day so far?
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
My mum has just brought a futon round
NOW I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO SIT IN MY FLAT.
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
I thought that was sexface

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
way to insult two people at once

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
It's my forte

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
that and arm wrestling

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:02, archived)
Only against big girls

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
Eh?

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:53, archived)
Exactly

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
LOLMGLARIOUS!

(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
Fuck you bitch

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
You're so lovely
Sometime I wish I was a pair of your pants.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

sometimes always
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:59, archived)
*adds to my bumper book of chat up lines*

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:59, archived)
That ones always a hit
I can't even count how many notches that ones added to the bedpost.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
None then.

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:04, archived)
It could be any number really
I'm innumerate.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:07, archived)
No, I'M in your mate

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:08, archived)
How is your fiance anyway?

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:08, archived)
She's very well
she's tidying upstairs while I sit on the sofa watching hollyoaks
(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:13, archived)
Gonzo?
You have a girl/boyfriend?
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:15, archived)
Nope
al actually managed to convince a lovely pretty lady to marry him
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:18, archived)
well, bugger me.

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:19, archived)
That's what I said.

(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:22, archived)
althegeordie: taking one for the team

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

for the team right up his arse
(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:27, archived)
It's his intellectual hotspot

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
It's also his "<s>ellectual</s> rnet" one too

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:44, archived)
I have a date to fuck ninjabadger up the arse
with a pink glittery strap on
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
OMGS LOLZ DRUGZ

(I helped save b3ta! MrA, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
Not really
Helps with the motivational aspect though
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
nothing I'm not even dressed...
I might watch 24
(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
EXCITEMENT

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
I haven't even had a fag,
dark days.
(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
Pretty girls in town.
After looking at the pretties I had to go to work.
Grrr.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
with your chubs
your lovely laddy chubs.
(I helped save b3ta! MrA, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
The massive thunderstorm going on right now

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
Grrr
I've been cleaning the flat & all I've found is a hatred of cleaning the flat.

Gots to get a cleaner.
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
Have more parties
Makes for good suprises
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
Not once have I had a party & found the flat tidier afterw.... oh.

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:57, archived)
I woke up once
to find that the speed freak had cleaned the whole house in his comedown.
Good times.
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:58, archived)
Heh, I used to go out with a girl who was a bit of a speed freak
her place was always immaculate
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:01, archived)
They can be awesome at times :)
Wouldn't want one in my life permanently though
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

life fanny
(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:04, archived)
Evil Claire
isn't dead and has warren tied up in The Loft. That's pleased me.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
Wait....
wait...



wait....



Nope. Still don't care.
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:57, archived)
Now Hannah just got clobbered by Claire
that's just crazy.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6187792
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:59, archived)
Did you have fun last night?

(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
Always, al.
You know what happens.
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:01, archived)
I hope you weren't jumping on people other than me
I would be most upset to find that out.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:04, archived)
No jumping.
I did beat seb at both arm wrestling and mercy though.
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That's frigging brilliant!
(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:07, archived)
His face was epic when he gave in at mercy

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:09, archived)
I really hope there is photos of this!

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:12, archived)
Sadly no
the photographers were too pissed by that point.
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:12, archived)
gutted!
I would've paid good money to have seen that.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:14, archived)
:)

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:15, archived)
Well I got a brief snog from MM which was rather tasty

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:13, archived)
You're making the baby jesus cry.
And making the adolescent Jesus wank.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:14, archived)
What about the middle age jesus?
oh that's right he didn't get there.
because of the jews.
(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:17, archived)
Nah, it was the romans.
Jews don't go around killing charismatic leaders from Palestine who want to free their country from occupation.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:19, archived)
I loves you bex

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:16, archived)
Me loves you long time MM

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:19, archived)
can you fire ping pong balls from your fanny?

(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:24, archived)
Sadly no, you didn't teach me well enough :(

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:26, archived)
I'll show you again soon

(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:27, archived)
Promises promises

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
OMG snogging at bashes
You'd never catch me doing that.

that might be bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:16, archived)
that must have been after I went home
damnit
(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:18, archived)
It was outside
And only minor
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:27, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

don't let on....
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:31, archived)
Until next time my lovely...

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:32, archived)
Indeed

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:33, archived)
I was probably too busy drinking to notice.

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:37, archived)
seeing a man trip over his flip flops in Asda
I did ask if he was all right though.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
Was he south african?

(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
Shop flip trip, poss broke nip & hip
more on page 7
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
he should have had double pluggers

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:01, archived)
PHWOAR!

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
I found some smack last week
less of a surprise, more a habit.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
It's not really finding when you've been tracking down your dealer for 5 hours

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:02, archived)
It's not really your dealer
when it's your drugs councillor.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
It's not really a councillor
when he's got a tourniquet on his arm
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
I just did a really big piss
seriously, it went on for AGES
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
I've had two massive shits today
I'm aiming for the hattrick by lunchtime
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:02, archived)
it's good that you have something to aspire to

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:11, archived)
Did it smell like last nights dinner?

(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
I sometimes eat loads of asparagus in a fit of masochism

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
Did you feel manly?

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:04, archived)
NOT AS MANLY AS YOU, FREAK

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:07, archived)
I'm more fucking man than this lot will ever be.

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:09, archived)
True story this.
About 20 yrs ago, the American Ambassador was visiting Cambridge University. His chauffeur came in the pub and got pretty pissed. He said he was going for a bit of air before driving him back to that London in the limo. When he had gone, we found his jacket. Inside was about half a kilo of finest* Columbian marching powder, and some porn. He never returned to collect it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 31 May 2009, 12:07, archived)
Nice work sir
How's your good self?
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:10, archived)
k

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 31 May 2009, 13:12, archived)
you meet all the best people

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:10, archived)
Where did you hide the body?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 31 May 2009, 12:11, archived)