Could he not just have used
a bit of egg yolk or some lube ?

I'm not sure about this concept.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

couldn't they have slashed her flesh with a machete to break the seal?

( sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

or just moved house
and remarried.

It's what I would have done.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

well she did want to go on that talent shit programme, so yeah. ditch the bitch.

( sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

Egg yolk?
You must be a right bedroom oddity.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

Yeah dude
better than melty butter or lard.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

but it gets stickier the thinner it gets.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

STOP TAKING THINGS TOO SERIOUSLY ONLINE

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

OH
I actually thought you meant you used egg yolk as a lubricant.

Alright, calm yourself you girl.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

Lubricant ?
I use my charm as a lubricant. When I speak gently and soothingly to a woman even her bum wets up.

I've given a woman a wide on with no more than a cheeky wink in the past.

Lubricant my arse.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

So when do these effects kick in, then?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

When I talk to a sexy lady.
OFFLINE.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

Oh I seeee.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

You dont
cause I am online.

If you could see, you'd be wet like a ducks cloaca.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

You might not be my type.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

Goaty is everyone's type
You'd have a wide-on like a wizard's sleeve and be wetter than an otter's pocket.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

I resent all this wide-on talk.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

Don't resent your wide-on
Embrace it. But carefully.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

Lest I fall in myself and become an Escher drawing.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

Endlessly falling, throughout time

( Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

damn straight
it'll be slippy. don't want to drop it mid-embrace.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Do you fancy Comedy dave?
If so, you'll LOVE GW.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

Who?!

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

I look fuck all like comedy Dave
and besides I'm not even interested in getting off with ladies I met whilst talking about having unwanted sex with menstruating dogs.

Even if I was 17 and a virgin I'd still think twice about taking a ladyb3tan up on an offer of some "fun involving nudity and bums"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

I don't think that was me, somehow.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

i have a thing for men who wink at me.

( sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

Men who say things like toots
and call women broads. Oh yes.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

YOU'VE GOT BROADTOOTS
KANNY LAD!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

i dont mind toots.
but i don't associate winking with that kind of guy.

the man who winks most at me is an accountant.
i think it might be a tic.
( sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

When you see a man you like
piss in his eye.

That will give the impression he's coming on to you.

And to be fair, after you've done a wee in his face, he probably will be.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

A CLASSY TIP.

( sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

what about men who can't wink properly without hitching up a whole half of their face?
are they to be denied any binkylove?!
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

DEPENDS IF IT IS CUTE and is they maintain eye contact with the free eye.

( sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

the problem with binkylove is there's just too much of it :(
i am always falling in love and never out of it.

i'm constant in my affections, but easily impressed.
( sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

i have spacky eyes
i can't raise one eyebrow either

but thanks for the tip!
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

I CAN RAISE EITHER OR NEITHER OR BOTH.

( sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

I AM SURPRISINGLY JEALOUS

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

*waggles smugly*

( sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

*both eyebrows droop symmetrically*
sadface, I CAN MANAGE THAT
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

dawww.

( sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)