Fucking school sports.
I just came last at discus. I fucking hate sports.
(NPC, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:30, archived)

Your discus ineptitude
is going to severely hinder your future job prospects, take it from me.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:31, archived)

Hurling disks a very long way is a vital life skill
I fear for your future
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:32, archived)

discus?
that's just concrete frisbee isn't it? we didn't do that at my school
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:32, archived)

Commoner
Bet you didn't even play Lacrosse did you ;)

'Ning all :D
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:39, archived)

all I know about lacrosse
I learned from Enid Blyton

'ning you
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:43, archived)

We never
got jam sandwiches and ginger beer afterwards :(
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:48, archived)

I can't remember what they did at St Clare's
but it took me years and years to work out what a lacrosse stick could possibly look like given the descriptions of the game
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:51, archived)

:D
Useless bloody sport. At least my years of rowing will equip me to get somewhere useful next time I am stuck on a lifeboat in the middle of the sea!
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:55, archived)

Ning you
www.b3ta.com/talk/620196
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:57, archived)

£5-10????
I'll start charging you if you're not careful.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:03, archived)

I've got some loose change.

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:05, archived)

Leave it on
the table, there's a poppet.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:07, archived)

Ning... Not been arrested yet?
Lax is one of the most psychotic sports ever invented. Great fun!
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:43, archived)

Not arrested not attacked by
marauding anarchists. They're a fairly feeble bunch..

You ever tried Shinty? Now that's psychotic :D
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:49, archived)

*shudder*
now I have a terrifying mental image of angelaandalison playing that... I bet they did too
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:52, archived)

I saw you more as a polo player

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:44, archived)

Actually I rowed in the First XIII
I can crack walnuts with these thighs.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:45, archived)

Rowers are always lezzas
:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:46, archived)

It was a gels'
school. We all pretended to be lezzas at one point or another.

/trendy
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:47, archived)

Oh i bet there was experimentation...

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:51, archived)

careful
she can crack bollocks with her thighs
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:48, archived)

My dick is huge

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:49, archived)

thats ok
so are your bollocks

Edit: Arf.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:52, archived)

I don't intend
to take my thighs anywhere near any of Mykey thangyewverymush.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:56, archived)

Thats good cos i dont intend to let you:)
Not till you shave your legs at least
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:57, archived)

*plaits*

( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:59, archived)

It looks like she's got
Gimli in a scissor lock...
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:09, archived)

could have been worse..
you could have been hit by a bus
(icedragon, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:33, archived)

Don't worry
in ten years you'll be in a respectable white-collar job, while all those bigger boys who can find no way to express themselves but through physical competition will be olympic athletes on million-pound sponsorships.
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:33, archived)

Arf :)
who can find no way to express themselves but through physical competition will be olympic athletes on million-pound sponsorships. will be signing on and spend their days pushing around their litter of near-inbred progeny and lamenting the fact their track-suit wearing wife's arse has swollen to the size of a small moon.

/wishful thinking maybe
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:36, archived)

Well,
the best-at-PE boy from my year at school is now captain of a Scottish Premiership team.

So I see your point.
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:38, archived)

I was 9th best in my year at athletics
(out of 350) when I was 16. and now look at me.
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:40, archived)

*considers Scotsman ever winning a sporting event*
*laughs self silly*
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:41, archived)

Bear in mind he was only competing with other Scotsmen.

( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:42, archived)

Is that an analogy for people arguing on the interweb?

( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:43, archived)

Aww, bless.
I think it's sweet that they let them have a go.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:44, archived)

CURLING!
one off..

Pfffft. Must not laugh at own jokes. Must not laugh at own jokes..
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:51, archived)

If it's any consolation
the rubbishest-at-sport from my school is now a multi millionaire rock star.

(I've never really grasped the meaning of "consolation")
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:42, archived)

who's that then?

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:44, archived)

richard ashcroft
(strictly speaking he wasn't the shittest ... that was for comedy effect) (and one of the other verve blokes whose name I've forgotten was a very decent rugby player)
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:49, archived)

He drank in
my old local for a while. Seemed a decent enough sort. Bit depressing though ;)
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:52, archived)

They were all fairly chirpy teenagers
I blame rock'n'roll.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:58, archived)

Meatloaf?

Nana Miskouri?

Stephen Hawking?
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:51, archived)

*starts /board text meme import*
Thats no moon...

*ends /board text meme import*
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:38, archived)

But remember

it matters not, who won or lost, but how you play the game.

/bottom
( diffy maybs, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:35, archived)

Ah so you mean I won then?

/bottom
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:36, archived)

Well er yes
well yes, if it means so much to you, than yes, yes you did win

shit shit shit, vd, vd, vd, why do i bloody lose everything, always

so you think your good at games do you big boy, well what about a real game, a game of the great big minds, the clash of the titans

/bottom

may be a few words wrong, over to you
( diffy maybs, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:42, archived)

Hehe
close enough for me!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:55, archived)

That was never much consolation to me
I always lost and played terribly.
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:39, archived)

me too

but it's what I tell my daughter

"It doesn't matter who wins, it's the taking part that counts"
( diffy maybs, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:46, archived)

But that's not true.
It doesn't matter who wins, and taking part doesn't count... gah, I suppose they have to learn for themselves.
/not a parent
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:48, archived)

When I have children,
I will happily write them notes, excusing them from any sort of PE classes. Every week, if I have to.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:36, archived)

Hmmm
You don't want socially incomplete children. Being ridiculed for lack of skill in completely unnecessary activities is part of growing up. How else are they going to develop a decent sense of bitterness towards all mankind?

Seriously, I'd be worried about my kids' social development if they never got bullied.
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:46, archived)

Yes, you're right.
If I'm not careful, I'll have children who have a sense of self-worth. Probably best that I beat them on a regular basis.



THWACK!
"Daddy, please stop!"
THWACK!
"Sorry, son, but you've got to build character somehow. Now, hop into the shower, and I'll ridicule your genitals..."

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:50, archived)

Hmmm
But I'd want them to be worth something to themselves, not not have to care about self-esteem because everyone else likes them...
Oh, it's all complicated.
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:52, archived)

Oh yes, that's all well and good,
but it's not easy to feel good about yourself when your cock is being mocked by a bunch of 12 year olds with chin stubble.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:56, archived)

and that was only last week
sorry ;)
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:01, archived)

Pfft!
My voice didn't break, until after I turned 18, so school was never much fun for me.
/self pitying blog
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:02, archived)

I had the opposite problem
being a C cup by the time I was 11. not being particularly bra-efficient by that age I always had to ask to go to the toilet to put it back on when the horrible wee shites in my class undid it
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:05, archived)

Nice.
Still, we're all thoroughly well adjusted, productive members of polite society now, aren't we?
*skives like his life depended on it*
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:08, archived)

Take up kendo.
Beat other discusoteers with stick.
Stamp on their faces.
Claim victory.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:36, archived)

If that is the worst thing that happens to you today, be thankful.
It is an utterly pointless sport and not even as entertaining as the other pointless ones (javelin etc) to spectate.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:38, archived)

javelins definitely have a point.
it's the big spikey bit at the front that enables them to stick in the ground where they land
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:41, archived)

I can't slap you so I'll just glare in your general direction.
*glares*
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:42, archived)

Arf!

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:44, archived)

flid

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:43, archived)

The world has gone nuts again!
I mean - teaching kids about Discos as part of their educational experience? What are they going to learn?

How to stand on opposite sides of the room according to gender?

Optimum hand-on-arse moment (Slow Song Etiquette)?

How to spot a person 'in your league'?
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:47, archived)

I wish I'd learned.

( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 10:49, archived)