I'm going to get given my degree by Patrick Stewart.
For all my geeky friends this is a source of great jealousy but I can't see what on Earth is so great about it.

And yes, it does a bit.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:09, archived)

My degree anal warts

You're not making it easy for me to stop doing this are you ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:11, archived)

No, not in the slightest.
Did I ever tell you about how much I love to stroke puppies?
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:12, archived)

Did I ever tell you about how much I love to troke puppies have my gaping back passage filled with manmilk?
( Fudgebags will wear you like a glove, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:14, archived)

You are a pale facsimile of Woat and lack his sense of effortless panache.
C-
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:20, archived)

You are a pale facsimile of Woat and lack his sense of effortless panache love of anal fun.

It was actually my first strikethrough - I just went for it, ignoring the consequences...
( Fudgebags will wear you like a glove, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:23, archived)

Yes
but I ignored you as I was wanking at the time
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:14, archived)

How come?
Have you taken a degree in Klingon Language, from an online university, or is he just an old boy of your college?
/suspects the latter
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:11, archived)

He is a local boy from West Yorkshire
so Huddersfield made him Chancellor. I think I might tell him that I vehemently dislike both Star Trek and X-men. As opposed to all the comedians that want to say "make it so"
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:14, archived)

Science fiction aside,
you do realise that he's one of the finest actors of his generation? His sci-fi work is so popular, as (in my opinion) he adds a sense of gravitas to some otherwise silly proceedings.

For me, his finest works have been Dad Savage (line dancing gangster) and Gunmen (wheelchair bound and buried alive).

When he presents you with your degree, ask him how many lights he can see.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:19, archived)

He was in Excaliber
too, which I liked but totally understand if everyone else thinks is shit.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:21, archived)

I love Excalibur
but blink and you'd miss Paddy's contribution.

Liam Neeson is in it too, as a lashed up knight
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:24, archived)

Fascinating.
Do go on...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:28, archived)

*goes on*
*Whittles knife blade from the whitening shin bone of your dead grandmother*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:31, archived)

It's not my fault if all the good actors choose to star
in things I couldn't give a flying fuck about. I mean, did he ever even think to ask me if I might like hime to do something else?
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:22, archived)

he's also an accomplished Shakespearean actor
and he did very well on Top Gear too ;)
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:23, archived)

on in
Top leather
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:25, archived)

Tell him how much you enjoyed his portayal of Othello,
and his one man version of Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf. It'll probably make a nice change from "make it so".

Oh, and it's your own fault for not liking Star Trek - every man in the entire world likes Star Trek.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:25, archived)

But if you said that to him
he might try and bum you.

Up the hairy man bum with his big, bald sweaty sci fi willy.

That probably goes "SWOOOSH" when it erects like the doors on the Enterprise.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:28, archived)

I wish mine did that.
No, really, I do.

"Make it so!"
*swoosh!*
"Launch photon torpedo!"
*bums*
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:31, archived)

I wish mine
made a noise like a TIE fighter when it spluffed.

I think that would be great.

And it would echo if you were bumming someone with a big, baggy bumhole.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:33, archived)

At least that would drown out
the sobs of frightened children.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:37, archived)

please don't make me giggle
when I'm in this much pain
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:33, archived)

*tickles*

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:34, archived)

don't touch my skin!!
it hurts all over :'(

I'm going back to bed for a bit, I'm feeling really crap again
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:35, archived)

When I first got my laser spirit level,
I was tempted to stick it on my head, and walk around the house, proclaiming to be Locutis of Borg. If I'd married a more geeky woman, I'd have probably had sex with her, repeatedly announcing that "resistance is futile."
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:36, archived)

I'd rather get to meet Michael Gambon.
At least he doesn't have the geek factor.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:29, archived)

I walked past Michael Gambon in the street, once.
I wanted to say hello, but he looked very fierce (he and his assistant were bickering about feeding the parking meter), so I left him alone. No one else in the group I was in had any idea who he was - bloody philistines!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:34, archived)

If it were the day before my penultimate one on b3ta
I'd be trying to be a bit more interesting.

But you go ahead with this stuff.

It suits you.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:23, archived)

I could pretend to violate your anus,
but it's just soooooo passé.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:27, archived)

That's not how you spell pissy.

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:27, archived)

'uddersfield, eh?
I went for a teaching job at his old school. My mate was sending me up his Star Trek stuff to get signed the day of my interview, as if i) he would be there; ii) it would be appropriate during an interview to ask for signed DVD boxsets.
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:13, archived)