How can you manage to get the day off work
but make everyone think you were really at work?

*doesn't want to go to bed*
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:38, archived)

put a life-sized
cardboard cutout of yourself at your desk and sneak off
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:39, archived)

I could do that
by doing a thing like my A4 rasterbation thing.. Might just work!
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:43, archived)

oooooh
that's clever!
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:44, archived)

Thanks,
but it'll scare the shit out of any lady I invite back
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:49, archived)

Get Mykeyboys job

( Hankster, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:40, archived)

flexi-time
is a wonderful thing
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:41, archived)

I spazzed and saw the announcement
*mwah*
congrats again

cannie hold yer water
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:42, archived)

*dances*

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:43, archived)

I'm dead chuffed, y'know!
I love this kind of thing :D
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:44, archived)

We must buy hats

( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:46, archived)

hurrah for silly hats!

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:47, archived)

not silly hats
fantastic hats
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:47, archived)

I shall feel left out
I will not be able to wear a hat :(
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:48, archived)

why not?
what's wrong with an ivory satin top hat with floor-length wide scarlet ribbon round the hatband?
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:50, archived)

I look like a twat
in a hat
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:52, archived)

I know the feeling
the only hat I suit is a trilby and it's not really wedding-suited
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:54, archived)

how do you think I look in mine?

( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:54, archived)

I sometimes feel as though I could look for a thousand years
and never find a hat that suits me.
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:54, archived)

well
instead of hats, we should all go for BIG hair!
( jenpots, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:57, archived)

and CORSETS

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:58, archived)

ooooh
and deep clevage!
( jenpots, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 23:01, archived)

This may have been one of his demands
yes.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 23:03, archived)

This ^
times a gazzilion.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 23:04, archived)

But the whole point of a hat
is to give yourself something to snigger at when you look back at the wedding photo's 20 years later.

*Apart from the hairstyles, that are "coming back in you know?"

:)
( trev Is not interested in your fripperies, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:58, archived)

Yes. We must find hats immediately!

( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:48, archived)

i too
have been doing the spaz back, woo yay congrats!!
are we all invited to the piss up afterwards?
( jenpots, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:45, archived)

damn right
but it wont be for a little bit
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:50, archived)

well............
shall we go for a celebratery piss up soon and one later?

soooooo excited for you both *mwaah*
( jenpots, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:53, archived)

in the words of my mate Vicki
we need several practise runs...to figure out where the exits are and stuff
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:57, archived)

this
is a good plan!!
( jenpots, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 23:00, archived)

leave a "Be back in 5" post it on your PC

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:40, archived)

Clever...
...in that you didn't specify the units of time.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:48, archived)

oooh
I hadn't noticed the supreme cleverness there

*awed*

years!
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:52, archived)

ah, but time itself has no units
it's continuous!

/sad [non-]fucker
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:58, archived)

spend all night setting up a
holographic imager set it up at work then set a 5 min loop of yourself working.
go home and have a nice cup of tea.
( jenpots, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:40, archived)

Hop on the train,
go somewhere a long way away, fuck around for an hour or two, then come back.
It's a bit expensive though, despite the fact that travel broadens your mind... or something!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:40, archived)

you have a second line for your limerick
if the pronounciation of tyersal is correct
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:47, archived)

I saw it.
If you can come up with a third rhyme, then that's the fifth line sorted m'jorted. Shame about the scansion, though... but you can't have everything!

Re pronounciation: it's the North, so it's pronounced exactly as it's spelt (cf. Keighley, Aldborough)
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:52, archived)

now complete
but posted further up
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 23:16, archived)

work from home
and put a looped feed out as a webcam
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:41, archived)

I'm back now
www.b3ta.com/talk/622319

FUNNY
( Shoosh up your lips Not state-funded, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:57, archived)

I managed to do this a couple of months ago
borrow a laptop from work
tell them you'll be working on some documentation tomorrow
sign into the network remotely
spend an hour or so talking to people on internal IM to prove you've been there
send a few things to the printer -"THE MATRIX IS WATCHING YOU" messages are good
go to the pub
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:43, archived)

arf!
I'd love to be able to do that. I'd do it :D
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:45, archived)

*taps on shoulder*
'ello you.
:o)
( jenpots, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:50, archived)

*hugs*
missed you :)
normal service should resume tomorrow
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:53, archived)

*cuddles*
i'm glad xx
( jenpots, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:56, archived)

kill them all and bathe in their juices
or fake illness
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:46, archived)