OH FAT INTERNET.
Come on...

Does NOTHING exciting (and I mean genuinely exciting, not what you had for tea, or which movie you're critiquing) happen in your lives?
Hexachordal, regarded queer commented yesterday on how much slower this place was recently.
What gives?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:19, archived)

I got dressed about an hour ago.
My chinese neighbours have a garden filled* with signs they've stolen from outside of shops

* there's one sign
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:20, archived)

See, MoT.
There's no more Wormulus, asides his gazzes.
SexFace isn't having to try as hard now Wormulus isn't here to defend himself.
..and fat internet has me on block.

The internet is slowly slowing down, I believe this is miserable internet's new ploy to drag us all to our knees with dull and dour.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:22, archived)

I am muddling through JMG, knowing that B3ta is a series of peaks and troughs,
I foresee that soon some people will return and then a fantastic group of newbies will arrive
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

Browsing through the day's posts see that there was a HUGE lunch thread today.
I blame myself for this.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

:(

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:42, archived)

CHEER UP, I'M HERE NOW
why would anyone read back through the day's posts? it's bad enough reading them as they're posted
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

Maybe it's like dipping your foot in the pool before getting in.
Just to get a feel of how shit it is.
You don't want to jump in on here unprepared.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)

actually, balls to /talk, I'm going to do something else instead
take THAT, stats page
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)

I say 'read through'...
...I browsed the popular page.

Two funny posts in a morass of greasy-cheeked navel gazing and wittering.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)

I heard there are some flibbertigibbets who trawl these pages
searching for pieces of gossip to write into their little books. Sad times.
( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)

Surely not?
There can't be ANYONE pathetic enough to look at a series of posts by unrelated posters and pull together some kind of conspiracy from them could there?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:46, archived)

It's a sad old world.

( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:54, archived)

Why don't you read a book?

( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:20, archived)

I'm not 100% sure what you look like.
But somebody described you today as "that one with the rapists eyes".
I was shocked at such a stereotype.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

he does have rapist eyes
it's true.
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

It's been said that I have rapey eyes.
I'm responsible for most sexual crime that happens.
( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)

hello druid.

( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

Hi there lovely!
Would you like a piece of cake? There's some here and I don't want it.
( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:26, archived)

Ohh yes please :)
What kind is it though please?

I was told I was wrong the other day for being a northerner and not liking christmas cake with cheese, Both on their own YES but not together :(
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:33, archived)

You've failed the northern test. Christmas cake with cheese
is the best thing ever.
It's birthday cake, Blue Star baked it but I'm not a big cake fan. It'll be lovely for them's like cake.
( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

tea cakes with cheese in it
thats the way
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

you do fail
sorry
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

what, like,
cheese actually on the cake?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:41, archived)

However you like.
I like to have a thin slice of cheese and put it on top of the slice of cake and eat it together like that. Beautiful.
( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

this is approximately the oddest thing I've ever heard.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)

Cake itself is a fucked up food.
Cheese is possibly stranger. Why not mix the two?
( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:52, archived)

Cheese is among the best things ever,
cake is generally a bit meh. I can kind of imagine how it works though, depending on the cheese. Maybe a nice, strong mature cheddar. The marzipan and icing is confusing me a bit, mind.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

I'm going to have a shower.
May go to the shops if there's time.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:21, archived)

I am going to a wedding in London on saturday
my dad is likely getting made redundant tonight after 40 odd years in the same job.

errrm I'll vome back and give you more exciting news when I think of some.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:21, archived)

I cleaned my keyboard today,
thrilling stuff
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:22, archived)

Not in mine, so far, no,
but I've been working on my Personal Powers of Awesome lately. At this rate, something might happen eventually.

We're going camping at the weekend, not on a campsite. That's going to be awesome.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:22, archived)

I'm learning to drive tomorrow.
Not with a car, but a small indoor haulage vehicle. And it's not even going to cost me anything (unless you count the train fare).
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

This is something..

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

I think people might be getting bored
We very rarely get any new blood, because they get slaughtered soon as they turn up on here.

Apart from doing a damn fine interview, nothing has happened to me - well, nothing I want to share with /talk.
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

*slaughters*

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

stop being nasty to me
you know you love me.
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)

Hahahaha.
Internet japes!
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)

It's been bad internetting today JMG. Let me summise...
Hello [insert rude word here] {ACCIDENTALLY HITS CAPS LOCK} woo SO WHAT U HVG 4 DINNER LOL!11 I HASING SAMMIGIZ ME DO RADIO SHOW ON INTERNETS NOW [some link appears here normally listen plz Christ it makes you want to vomit.] OMG!!1 I’M TWITTERING MY PODCST ALL OVA MY FACEBOOK I’M LIKE CRAYZEEEEEE11! _{(At this point a link may appear tagged with NSFW. This annoys you but you still have to click it don’t you?)} *puff* *wheeze* OMG I MUST DO DIET I’M SOOOOOOO FAT LOL!!1 ALL THE WOMEN HERE THINK IM DED SEXEH COS I GET SHAGGED LOADS AND THAT! [Ends with current shit meme]
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)

tl:dr

( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:26, archived)

I like this.
I trust you all will, too.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:26, archived)

JMG,
when Sunderland moved out on Saturday, he didn't say goodbye to me.

On top of that, his bedroom is still filled with shit he's left behind.

Why are the unwashed so shit?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:27, archived)

Most of the stuff he's left behind will be stolen goods.
Avoid all fingerprints.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:28, archived)

Haha, first real laugh of the day.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:27, archived)

The internet is a horrible place.
I was confused when I saw this on a construction drawing dimension line today:

1399 CHB

I thought it was something to do with your birth year.
( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

Don't be silly.
He was at school then.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:58, archived)

And that was just SexFace.
He's the Wormulus it's OK to hate.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

Tomorrow I get to drive on the most awesome road in England
A449 between Monmouth and Newport
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)

Picturesque.
It's no A48 though.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)

but it's great!
Just a huge highway with hardly any turnings off - I might get the Outrun music on the car CD player.

Just need to replace my Clio for a Ferrari now
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:42, archived)

I think there are more palm trees on outrun than there are in Wales.
But forget that... *rocks out to outrun music*

I think they fucked the music up in the PC port www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uWq8QhMsRs
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:48, archived)

ewww PC Speaker music
passing breeze was an awesome soundtrack
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:59, archived)

JMG Fencing?
How about a hobby? That might cheer you up.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)

Yes. plenty of things.
I'm just not an attention seeking cunt.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

I'm a regular cunt.

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

I have spent a fair chunk of today walking. It has been FUCKING hot.
In good news, I bought some scales & my weight has gone down. In bad news, I´m covered in fucking mozzy bites. The only exciting thing is all the girls barely covered frups wobbling about in the sunshine.

/day in the life of broadsword
( broadsword, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:46, archived)

s'up chap?
have you purchased some wrap around shades for descrete ogglage?
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

Ello mate
the problem is when I go out in my normal glasses, I forget I´m not wearing shades, It´s a fuck of a lot more obvious that I´m staring :)
( broadsword, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)