I'm going to WHINE
that's what I'm going to do.

Work is mad busy.

I'm trying to book train tickets to the seaside but when I click to buy them the internet keeps telling me that they aren't available, despite them being there in pixels on the computer screen.

I tried to buy a lovely dress but totally failed thanks to my comedy chest.

Christ, I could murder a pint. Or some other fucking life fail.

/BLOG

HELLO
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

+I live in Coventry

( WormuIus, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

OH THE LOLZ

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

I am playing football later
What sort of goal celebration should I do?
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

A glass of port

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

Slide across the floor on your face

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

Pretend your walking a dog of the toy variety with a tiny mince in your step

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

Oh, I like this one.
It's a work game and I'd do it n'all if there weren't a couple of dour sourpusses playing.

I think we should change criteria for players next month. Doesn't matter about skill, rather than your ability and desire to perform elaborate celebrations.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Or put the ball up your top and pretend to be pregnant, that was mine.
I'd give birth to the ball too on the centre spot after.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6265312

We should totally do a b3tan 5 a side game. Bonus goal if the celebration is funny/original/upsetting.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

I'm going to have a Resuscitation Doll on stand by for me to make out with

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

Or a Spitfire with machine guns.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Run across to the opposition fans
and do finger guns.
( WormuIus, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

5 a side. No fans, unfortunately.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

I could 'finger gun' at my own feet, doing the "dance, boy, dance" style of hot-footing.
Or enlist a team-mate to be the shooter.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

two tickets to the gun show, baby.
the only way to bag a classy lady.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

On this subject
I'm playing in an invitation 6-a-side cricket tournament on Saturday. How should I celebrate my inevitable boundaries or wickets taken? there will be spectators.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

Run round the entire boundary, high fiving the crowd.
Then insist that everyone waits for you while you're bent double, getting your breath back, for 10 full minutes.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

I think most definitely this.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

Oh
I

feel

your

pain
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

Mincredible Sulk

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

If you said to FF "Oh damn, my tits won't fit in this dress" I bet he would smile and do an air punch behind his back instead of comforting you

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

It's true.
He has no sympathy for me. No blokes do.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

It's coz big chebs are awesome

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

Yes
Yes they are
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

No no, not SAGGY AS FUCK.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

OMG WHERE?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

Hello, you tiny disabled
Life in the tiny ghetto getting you down?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

Fings is well bad, innit?

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

So I see
You need a blue badge for your spaz wagon
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

hello
buying things online is often a pain in the bottoms.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

You're putting your golf shoes on wrong

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

I do that on purpose.
It's buying things online that's the problem.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

Find me a hat suitable and practical for a festival

( magnum, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

www.poshgirlvintage.com/bmz_cache/4/4d8b418d83c65b2198765cb308cdd82e.image.300x330.jpg
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

www.neoncola.co.uk/strayhats/cathatwhite.jpg
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

It's going to be about 30c
A wooly hat is not a good idea
( magnum, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

Which seaside are you trying to visit. Many are appealing but turn out to be rubbish.
My nabaztag:tag arrived today and I have no internets for at least another 2 weeks
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

i dont mind a bit of southend
or walton.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

We're going to That Brighton.
To visit b3tans. OFFLINE.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Madness!
Pixels are not real life. Brighton is alright though.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

i can top that
next of next weekend im in...SLOUGH :(((((
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

Haha! Slough is right shit :D

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

fucking tell me about it.
i used to live there half the week with my ex...for three long fucking hellish tedious years.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Oh god, you poor thing
It's like if you had to describe the colour 'grey' to someone I'd show them around Slough.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

*whimpers*

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

It's not that grey and uninteresting
when I lived there someone was decapitated in the car park of my local with a ceremonial sword. Made a right fucking mess.

Still, I'll agree it's a proper shitehole.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

I spent a night in Staines once
Bleak times
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

there are just no redeeming features.
depressing as fuck.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

The hotel was gorgeous
It's just that you had to go outside at the end of it
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

I'd quite like a pomegranate martini.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

Mmmm whine

( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

I can whine too
I had planned an awesome quiet afternoon off 1-3.30 all to me
( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

mongy fingers
Anyway to continue
I got collared outside work and dragged into a near 2 hours meeting and bang went my 1st afternoon off in about 6 weeks
( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

Some bastards put up scaffolding next door so I kicked off due to wanting quiet on my day off

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

So am I.
The rest of the country is apparently in a heat wave and it has just started drizzling here.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

It's well miserable here

( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

unlucky eh

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

What's it like up your way?
''Jog on'' with a hint of ''shut up''?
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

well its not fucking pink
DIV.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)