Now this is how to sell a phone
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=6410585172
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 14:49, archived)

Poss Gay Interest?

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 14:55, archived)

Damnit
Need to go pee and I dont want to walk through the building with my shoes
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

So take your shows off...
(do a spoof)
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:00, archived)

cnut

( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:02, archived)

Piss in your shoes,
tie them together and whirl them around your head.

If anyone complains, simply tell them that you are effecting a cooling aromatherapy mist, to soothe & calm your fellow employees.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:00, archived)

"Need to go pee"?
Speak English, boy!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:00, archived)

Sorry
I have the compelling urge, to perambulate to the nearest water closet, and expel urine from my urethra.
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:02, archived)

That should be 'through' not 'from'.
You are expelling it from your bladder.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:07, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/631750
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

Mwah!
Wub woo.
Mwah mwah mwah!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:10, archived)

have you been washing your hands?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:02, archived)

"Why aye man, it's much betta than the last one, these are reeealy good and don't suck at all, honest!"

( hoifbjifbef, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:00, archived)

*demands a refund*

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

I don't think it has those sort of attachments

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:00, archived)

genius - i want to buy it just cos it's so funny
"In summary:

I hate it.
I detest every atom of it's existence.
It's creator should be tied down and eaten by ants.
The factory that makes them should be melted by a big laser from space.
It doesn't have a camera
It barely functions as a phone

Do you want it? Bid Now!"
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:00, archived)

I detest the whole concept
of mobile telephony
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:02, archived)

Why?

( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:04, archived)

I like to be places where no one can contact me
I hate listening to other people bellow into them on the train.

I cant understand how people are stupid enough to be financially milked with this "fasion item" thing every six months.

I cant understand this "It's a phone and a sort of crap camera, limited use MP3 player and works OK as a radio" I have a fucking camera that takes good pictures and I have an MP3 player, fuck off !

*gets hump*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:08, archived)

I only turn mine on when I'm making/expecting a call. Otherwise it's turned off.
I agree about the modern uses of a phone. Mine is years old and just makes calls and texts. And the ringtone is, shockingly, a phone ringing.

They are also great for emergencies.
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

You are part of the solution
not part of the problem.

It's these cunts with crayzee frogs and phones that double up as vibrators that get on my cock.

They are, as you say, good for emergencies.

I never take mine anywhere except for work, they pay for it.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

that pisses me off
what if someone needs to get in touch with you as an emergency but you're not expecting the call so you don't have your phone on?
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

It's not the end of the world. They'll get in touch somehow.
Unless it actually is the end of the world, of course. Then I'd look a bit of a chump.
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:18, archived)

This.
Whilst I spend far too much on my phone, I also appreciate the fact that I can do useful things with it.

Things like letting my parents know that my train/plane is delayed so they don't have to spend hours waiting in the hell-hole of Bristol Airport/Temple Meads...
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:19, archived)

That would count
under chobb's "turning it on to make a call" use, wouldn't it?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

Fair point.
*reads post properly*
*still keeps phone turned on anyway*
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

Then they're as screwed
as they were ten years ago, when the world also failed to grind to a halt.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:19, archived)

Yep.
The phone is for my benefit, not other peoples'.
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

Yeah
Mine is:

1. Great for smashing windows
2. Using as a life aid for drowning children
3. Extinguishing small kitchen fires
4. A scalpel is emergency trachaeaectomies
5. Removing stones from horses hoofs

It'd be nice if I could make a call from it
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:15, archived)

I can't afford a camera
so the camera on my phone is all I have. I've had it for three years now.
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

Ah
Now you've made me feel mean.....
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:16, archived)

I just got a new camera phone a few weeks ago
And yours still takes much better photos than mine
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

A camera
may be an option here.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

only because
I've had a lot of practice taking pictures with a camera phone
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:22, archived)

Here's the proof
Here's me enjoying my newly built deck.

It was a hell of a sunny day

Shit picture
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

Would you rather have the houseboy take messages while you're inspecting the field workers?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:04, archived)

I detest the whole concept
of mobile telephony
Mooooo! I am a cow! Moooo! I give milk to the children via the medium of my udders! Mooooooo! Far out, man. Like, woh!
ARSE KITTENS!

A hahahahahahahahahaha!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

ARSE KITTENS I like hairy bums
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:08, archived)

I know you do.
But what am I?
Or something.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

bummers are deaf
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

What?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:21, archived)

I said
you love teh cock off hairy men with aids
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:23, archived)

This.

( Bob Todd whee, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:06, archived)

I, too,
detest the whole concept of mobile telephony.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)