Contingency plans
If you were knocked down by a bus tomorrow morning would the sun fail to rise or the company you work for go bust? Just what would your untimely death mean for the world?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:18, archived)

You would all splutter out of existence.

( ArthurTheRat, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:19, archived)

I knew you ginges had some important role in the universe

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:21, archived)

Yes. Victims.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:40, archived)

nawty stuj
you're supposed to be lovely
( jenpots, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:43, archived)

I am lovely the lovely Jenpots.
But I'm officially not allowed to be as lovely as you.
*Outrageous pandering*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:46, archived)

*blushes*
Oh my stuj, with this pandering you're really spoiling me.
( jenpots, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:47, archived)

That's not spoiling.
THIS is spoiling:
*Offers a selection of shiny shiny shurikens and fancy getas*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:55, archived)

Some people I know would be briefly unhappy for a little while.

( Mu Dinofiddler, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:19, archived)

Ah, friends
Close friends can be hit hard
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:23, archived)

the wider world wouldn't notice
but I'm sure my daughters would.
( jenpots, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:19, archived)

for a while, i lost my mum, your just needy cunts really

( mongychops, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:21, archived)

I find Tesco Extra stores are just excessively large

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:24, archived)

You are their world kind of stuff
That's quite a big thing
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:26, archived)

I never knew she was in the Communards

( magnum, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:27, archived)

yeah
but they have their Dad. After a week or 2 they'd be over it.
( jenpots, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:28, archived)

my kids would be sad, that's about it
and they would only be sad for a little while, 6 weeks maybe of sadness
( mongychops, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:20, archived)

Aside from my good friends and immediate family,
no one would give a shit.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:21, archived)

about who?

( mongychops, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:22, archived)

prexactly

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:22, archived)

That's kind of how death works for most people.

( ArthurTheRat, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:23, archived)

WELL AREN'T I FORTUNATE

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:24, archived)

YAAAAAY

( ArthurTheRat, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:25, archived)

PARP

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:26, archived)

most people aren't even remembered, no one cares abouta blacksmith who died in 1263
if we're lucky our descendents will look us up and say "oh look, so and so worked as a programmer all his life before dying from a heart attack aged 60, i wonder if he made anything useful. oh well, we'll never know as all computer technology was absorbed into the terrorsphere 40 cycles ago" and then they'll shoot their way out of a building whilst being chased by robots
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:29, archived)

I love this
for the segue between a great argument and what can only be described as a scene from an action movie (still great)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:41, archived)

i would split open and sweets would gush out of me into the icy roads, children would rush out to pick at my remains

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:22, archived)

PaedoPinata!

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:33, archived)

every thing would burst into flames
I'm the guy that makes everything you own slightly damp during the night
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:22, archived)

Fuck all.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:22, archived)

In about 2 weeks a couple of webservers would collapse eitehr due to running out of space or just crazy processes running all the time
and an internal server at one of our customers would fail. Over the coming months there would be various other bits and pieces that would cause difficulty, but I'm sure someone could sort it out. Stupidly I made sure that anything I do regularly enough has instructions and that 1 other person knows how to do it. This is only because I kept getting calls during my holidays, but now it makes me easier to kick out the door
( magnum, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:22, archived)

Fuck all, apart from a bit of news coverage and the expense of a funeral.

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:24, archived)

Press coverage?
Unless you die in a particularly tragic/hilarious way, I don't see that happening for most people
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:47, archived)

There'd be something in the local paper.

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:54, archived)

"Karl Hysteria has died at the age of 2_
street party plans to follow"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:57, archived)

The product development team would be reduced by 25%.
If I died at home, someone in the three adjoining houses might notice the smell of the corpse.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:24, archived)

My boyfriend, friends and family would be sad for a while
And most of my fellow students would fail this year.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:24, archived)

why?

( jenpots, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:25, archived)

Because they're imaginary.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:27, archived)

Mainly because the lecturers are shit.
They don't actually teach, just relay the information. If I hadn't done most of the material before, I'd probably be struggling too.

I've spent the best part of this year helping my fellow students understand what the fuck went on that day. There's only about 3 of us passing everything first time with any decent grades.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:28, archived)

this is terrifying

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:30, archived)

Gluey, I think you've hit the nail right on the head there.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:31, archived)

I'm afraid to say that most of the stuff this year is biology, chemistry, psychology, English and ICT
Which I'm not fucking bad at all at.

Though reading back, I am tonight. That will be due to drinking. Snow day tomorrow.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:33, archived)

So basic foundation modules then?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:35, archived)

<s>foundation modules</s> SATs/11+

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:36, archived)

Not quite
The actual practical stuff I can't really comment on; I have previous experience with a lot of the stuff and I don't know how the other students are working out.

If you failed the NHS module then you'd need shooting.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:36, archived)

do yo just keep dbeig able to do gcse's because you are so ugly you look retarted?

( mongychops, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:38, archived)

Yep
GCSE midwifery
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:40, archived)

Christ.
Will you be administering the gin and air?
( nick the greek, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:43, archived)

She'll be grabbing the poor bleeder's legs and trying to stop it crawling back in.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:46, archived)

To be fair
Gin is the worst drink ever. I rate it under Cinzano. So, nope.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:48, archived)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I rest my case.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:54, archived)

Is it a case of Gin?

( nick the greek, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:57, archived)

What about air?
Got any opinions on air?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:56, archived)

Apart from the fact that the London stuff is poisoning me
No
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:58, archived)

Try Plymouth instead.

( nick the greek, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 23:01, archived)

I see what you did there

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 23:04, archived)

No, silly, they need her in the school otherwise everyone else will emerge uneducated.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:40, archived)

Don't get me wrong here
I'm not the only person who gets the course, but only a few of us do. The other few don't speak well enough English to relay the information.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:43, archived)

Me speak well enough English.

( nick the greek, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:44, archived)

Me thick forrin. You me help.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:46, archived)

Actually, if you read that
I said the 'forrin's are the ones who DO understand it!
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:49, archived)

Him english not well.

( nick the greek, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:50, archived)

Me fail 11+.
Me need shooting.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:53, archived)

You didn't, right?

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:59, archived)

I thought you were the thick one.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:33, archived)

No, that's something that was drawn based on my opinion
Academically, and professionally, I'm not too bad.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:34, archived)

Because she's planning to go out Columbine-style.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:34, archived)

A nervous breakdown for my boss.
I think Badger and my son might mope a little, then carry on.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:25, archived)

For me, not much would happen
There would be a slight disruption at work while my boss recruited.
My family might not find out about it for a few weeks and my friends would probably think I was just going through a quiet spell.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:31, archived)

The failsafe switch for the Anti-Ginge Contingency Plan would kick in.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:32, archived)

Some inconvenience for my work colleagues.
And an off licence near my ex would probably sell more champagne than usual.
( nick the greek, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:35, archived)

my parents would be devestated as my brother is dead as well
my friends might be a little sad but they'll get over it
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 22:42, archived)