STILL ON TOP AFTER TWO HOURS, THAT'S EXACTLY HOW IT SHOULD BE! BOW TO ME MORTALS
I've got a photoshop problem, I can't seem to stop drawing cocks on everything.

Actually my actual problem is I've made invitations using different fonts but when I print it it's not clear and sharp.

Would this be because
1. I made the image at standard size then shrunk it to A6
2. Because I used free fonts from the internet
3. Because I'm a photoshop noob and was never going to get anywhere in the first place
4. ..........
5. profit?
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:27, archived)

Oh right
You turn up after all this time when YOU want something.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:31, archived)

i have been flitting about occasionally
but it's generally really late at night while bored at work

PROMISE!
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:32, archived)

there's no-one here to annoy anyway it seems
except you
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:33, archived)

I'm too lazy to be annoyed
How's that whole having a life not on the internet thing?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:37, archived)

It's busy!
I find it a bit sad that it's so slow and quiet here now, Like i say i do pop in every now and then and I see some of the old faces still pop in too but it's certainly not- take the skin off your fingers you've to to reply so fast- anymore

I missed this place like I miss nicotine every time i give up when i stopped coming here.
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:42, archived)

The autisms scare the spastics away before any good fun can be had these days
I only come here because there are still some fat lasses on the internet I haven't had a disappointing sexual encounter with. Unbelievable, I know.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:45, archived)

I Like This!

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:09, archived)

can i have your afters?
i'm kinda bored.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:17, archived)

Yeah, I've got a few numbers you can have
Sort of stuff you wouldn't want to tell your mates about, but you know, ports and storms and that.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:21, archived)

oh ok maybe not then i'm not so completely out of options as all that you know

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:23, archived)

You ungrateful shit :(

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:17, archived)

i dunno, i can't just take everything everyone tries to give me,
i ain't got room for no fatties.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:06, archived)

when you say ports and storms
do you mean Truckers cafes and laybys?
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:27, archived)

For the most part, yes.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:17, archived)

when you reduce images, you can lose definition depending on how you did it
I'd suggest printing them at normal size, then putting them through the washing machine several times, allowing the invitations to shrink naturally
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:35, archived)

save time, post the invitation to everyone on facebook, I understand that's the modern way of doing things
( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:36, archived)

I was thinking of doing that!
but you've got to maintain some class haven't you?
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:42, archived)

not in my experience
admittedly this may be what I am doing wrong
( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:45, archived)

Print them on A3, then tell people to read them through the bottom of a pint glass

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:36, archived)

id guess that
You resized the image rather than the canvas or something ..don't make the image smaller on the file just print it smaller.
( RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:41, archived)

i did image resize not canvas resize
might this be the problem?
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:43, archived)

like tooooootally
The image size relates to the number of pixels in it whereas the canvas size uses the doing to say how many pixels to squash in to a given printed area. Ish.

Undo until its big again and change the canvas.
( RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:50, archived)

amazing!
big kisses (XXX) and 6 gold stars. ******
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:57, archived)

Actually canvas resize changes the dimensions (heigh, width, pixel depth) of the canvas
whilst leaving the image as it was (so if you reduce the size of the canvas you'll lose some of the image off the edge).

Image resize changes the dimensions of the image as a whole, so if you reduce the size of the image the canvas and image are reduced.

What Clairebare needs to do is reduce the Image size and in the same dialogue box increase the pixel depth (dpi). You want 300 or 600.

If you print from within photoshop's print prview you should be able to resize the image in that and have it print properly (or as well as it would if you resized the image).

If it still looks crap you're a photoshop n00b.
( CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:16, archived)

i know I know
I was typing it on my phone and it took forever.

I think as this page is so big it is soooo painful to use on an android phone
( RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:24, archived)

Same on any mobile device,
it's too big. There should be a mobile version that does one thread at a time.
( CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:27, archived)

once i increase the dpi can i save as a jpeg
to be professionally printed?
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:31, archived)

I wouldn't.
I'd save as a tif. Bigger file size but better quality.
( CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:33, archived)

you're brill
I'll let you know how it goes (if you're interested)
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 22:03, archived)

I can't help but to think that if I was a starving african without water and in that really horrific situation, the last thing I would do is breed.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, everyone has the right too, I just would make the choice not too.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:42, archived)

pardon?

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:44, archived)

Oh sorry, I couldn't really help you so I came up with what I was thinking while watching the telly.
The advert for the starving african kids came on, and I thought, why are they having so many kids when the kid's life is practaclly gaurnteed to be a long hard tourment.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:47, archived)

but what if there was a test your mum could have taken that would have shown your illness, would it have been resonable for her to abort you because of the illness?

( mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:51, archived)

My situation is entirely different to a starving african, not even close.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:55, archived)

but your situation is irrelevant to the point, which is, kind of, I would think, is it OK to pre-judge the quality of life a human is likely to have based on certain assumptions, and as a result of that, decide they shouldn't exist?
( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:58, archived)

the medical resources being used up by gonz could probably have saved 10's if not hundreds of african children and created a more equal world, probably

( mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:02, archived)

I feel in no position to judge who deserves what, mc, I think we need to crowdsource an answer to this one asap, I'll throw this one open to the board now
( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:05, archived)

Kill gonz.
Save Africans.

Sorry gonz. It's the pragmatic solution.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:21, archived)

Well, personally, I don't see any point in having a life that is filled with nothing but an excrusiating pain.
Sure, there is always hope, there is a chance they could end up in not such a bad situation, but that happens to thousands out of millions.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:07, archived)

I don't think anyone should be allowed to breed without my express permission

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:12, archived)

I'm planning to next year
have i got time to get my application in?
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:14, archived)

I think you're better off using a penis.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:26, archived)

I'd like to make some comparisons between the logic of your argument
and the ideas and practices of Hitler and Mao but given your heritage it would seem even more inappropriate than usual so I'll just say this: you are unequivocally wrong about this.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:25, archived)

Yeah, we need a good supply of cheap third-world labour.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:33, archived)

No, there are two very different things. I'm also not enforcing it or proposing to enforce it on anyone.
I'm purely thinking about the quality of life, or lack of it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:33, archived)

you leave me no choice but to explain this to you through the medium of Gandalf, gonzo, I'm sorry but there it is
"It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance."
"Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends."
( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:46, archived)

I don't like LotR, to many forrest bits, don't like forrest bits. If it was based mostly in a city, in modern times, it would be much better... like that KiDULTHOOD film.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:01, archived)

Which was the basic argument of both Mao.
If you genuinely want to improve the quality of life for people in developing countries then invest in the women: sex education, improvement of women's rights, and investment in women-led businesses are the three most important factors both in reducing poverty and also reducing population growth rates.

Or ... you know ... you can continue to be a revolting fascist.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:23, archived)

LOL

( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:34, archived)

Needs more orcs and wizards.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:41, archived)

I will immediately start work on explaining the rise of fascism through the lord of the r
oshithangonhangon
( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:12, archived)

Also, OMG GRODWINS LAUWW CONFRIRMASHUN BIAS EU FATCATS GRAVY TRAIN (etc.)

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:44, archived)

because Christians go over there and tell them there's a big spirit in the sky who watches everything they do
and he hates it when they use all the rubber dick wrappers the Red Cross guys give away for free, and the reason they're so hungry and dirty and poor is because they have to suffer so that they get all the happiness in the next life, and if they use contraception then they will never experience heaven, and nor will their children.

To change this, all that is needed is for the head of the world's wealthiest organisation to say "condoms are ok" and millions of people will be ok to enjoy emotionally satisfying adult relationships without the risk of making another starving child, but he doesn't want to, because it's not "right".
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:54, archived)

I don't really see how they can do that in good concous.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:58, archived)

That's the point of religion
you don't have to do it in good concience, you do it because you believe any old shit spouting out of some idiots mouth
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:11, archived)

it's very specific shit I assure you

( RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:25, archived)

yeah, no muslims in africa fighting causing famines, oh no, no tribes either

( mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:58, archived)

Why do the warloads in Simarlia do what they do, mongy?
The world has such potential to be good if people wern't cunts.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:01, archived)

why do poor people get addicted to expensive substance abuse when clearly from the outset they can not afford this habit and just a bit of hindsight will show it will make matters worse?

( mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:05, archived)

why do fools fall in love?
why do birds sing so gay?
and lovers await the break of day?
why do they fall in love?
( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:08, archived)

jews did 9/11

( mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:10, archived)

hehe
gay.
( RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:25, archived)

Probably for so many reasons, the substances can numb and take away bad thoughts and feelings caused by, in part, by their povity.
It's an instant gratification, and instant fix, which is why they want more of it. But eventually the substance, the fix, eventually it wares out until the next one.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:10, archived)

you can't out-troll Christianity, mongy

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:04, archived)

He could have a damn good go though.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:13, archived)

shit dude if i wasn't going out in a minute i'd totally start this shit up

( mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:17, archived)

well look on the bright side for them gonzo, it's not likely to be that long, is it, here you go, scroll down a bit for maps
web.worldbank.org/WBSITE/EXTERNAL/EXTDEC/EXTGLOBALMONITOR/EXTGLOMONREP2011/0,,contentMDK:22885530~pagePK:64168445~piPK:64168309~theSitePK:7856232,00.html
( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:55, archived)

i can see your point
but it's difficult to say to poor people they can't have children because of their lot in life
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:09, archived)

difficult morally repellant
( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:11, archived)

well quite

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:13, archived)

I'm not saying 'poor people', plenty of poor people have good lives.
Poor is a reliative term. I'm talking about those who have no access to things needed (as deemed by biology) to live.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:11, archived)

Because in their culture children are a blessing and having lots of them is the norm.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:16, archived)

It's got fuck all to do with "their" culture.
The go forth and multiply creed is almost completely unique to the abrahamic faiths and the bizarre bronze-age sandfucker polytheist warmongers that dreamt it up. Most cultures on earth understand the concept of limiting children to a practical number, even if they didn't have the biological knowledge to adequately apply the idea.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:29, archived)

armies require warriors and lots of them

( mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:33, archived)

Prezackerly.
They sort of gloss over that bit in the fluffy Jesus story. There's only one chosen people. The rest of us are grease for their godly bronze swords.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:17, archived)

make sure your image dpi and print dpi are set high enough
about 300 dpi for printing
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:11, archived)

*doffs caps*
thank you kindly x
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:15, archived)

penis in the post
just give it a lil kiss and post it back, ta.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:23, archived)

Best put it in a plastic money bag, someone who got a blowjob from a mosquito might find his penis hard to find.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:35, archived)

that fancy dress party was a real blast

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:36, archived)

What resolution is it?
You'd want 200dpi at the least.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:17, archived)

Can I have number 5?

( postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:20, archived)

Can't you order a bridesmaid or matron of dishonour to fix it for you while you sit gin and browse for pretty shoes?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:22, archived)

unfortunately I think I'm the most savvy for this job
I did teach myself quite a bit of photoshop for this project so and I'm really pleased with the result.

Don't have time to look for shoes though, can I deputise you as third bridesmaid and put you in charge of shoes?
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:26, archived)

Bonzer.
Blood-stained all stars it is.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:19, archived)

that's handy
i'm wearing a pair in that style right now
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:34, archived)

have you tried the power of prayer?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:00, archived)

Fuck off, noob. xxx

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:25, archived)