Smug cunt
I've got a good hangover, substantial though not debilitating, 8/10. My missus has gone to french France so it's my duty to be an appalling alcoholic for the week.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:32, archived)

This is the best kind of Sunday morning feeling ever!
I pity those who wake up feeling great as that's the best they will feel all day whereas you have scope for improvement!
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:35, archived)

It certainly is. I might even go to the pub at tea time for an overpriced feed with Ms Official Jnr
That ought to wind her boyfriend up a bit more too. I win at pseudo parenting.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:39, archived)

Ms fagilliD Jr is sitting downstairs with her boyfriend.
He's a f*cking Arsenal supporter and English. I am cunningly positioned upstairs in my office where I can hear them as they watch Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back. (I disabled the surround sound so that I can hear a bra being undone if it occurs)
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:43, archived)

The girl's boyfriend is a chef so we could go to where he works
Then I could show him all about inappropriate in front on his friends and colleagues too. God, I'm good.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:47, archived)

Our turd has been warned that if he goes near her..
I'll cut his fucking head off and shit down the hole in the middle. I sense apprehension while he is around me. His father complained to me about my language, father got some of the same.
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:51, archived)

brilliant!
*takes notes*
( jenpots, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:53, archived)

you sound like my ladies father
Who on our first meeting pinned me to a wall and threatened to smash ny teeth through the back of my head. I've asked him for a little guidebook to dadding for any future piglets.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:55, archived)

It works you know!
Eventually they give in and like you, despite the fact that they are aware that you are porking the arse of his sweetness and light. Just play by his rules (or pretend to) for a while and he gives up!
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:57, archived)

I did some awesome swearing when a bloke dropped the boy off after he got wankered
Left him unconscious in the street outside rather than push him through the door. I let him know a few new words during my lecture about responsibility down the phone. The next day he left a note through the door at about half five in the morning and very quietly too, saying that if I ever got in touch with him or his son again he would involve the police. Top victory for me there.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:57, archived)

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!
And even if they can, fuck 'em anyway!
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:59, archived)

gah... this is my future
Mini-Ninja is growing up very quickly. I'm going to have to practise my disapproving scowl.
( jenpots, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:49, archived)

Mine is 15, 16 in exactly 29 days
And is under a misguided impression that being underage does not matter with less than a month to go! She is very much aware that this is not acceptable, and, even after the 16th birthday that anyone even holding her hand better be rigged up like the Michelin Man.
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:53, archived)

Well it's well known
that Mini-Ninja's Mummy has 4 (soon to be 5) black belts in several martial arts. Anyone touching my daughter best be ready to suffer immense pain. *winning smile*
( jenpots, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:59, archived)

I'm just a big bastard.
*Winning snarl*
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:00, archived)

i'll just carry a bat
*winning swing*
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:01, archived)

I had one bottle of wine last night
then fell asleep. I'm too much of a lightweight to get an hangover.
( jenpots, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:38, archived)

I think I had just short of two
I would still be in bed spark out had she not texted me to tell me she was in Le Havre at daft o'clock.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:40, archived)

Text her back and go
Ooh la la and all that shit. Now kindly leave me to my hangover you cow. WUV WOO x x x
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:43, archived)

I might accidentally send her a pic of someone elses tits
I need someone else for this plan to work, or some porn.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:45, archived)

that was sweet of her

( jenpots, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:44, archived)

It was ace
I said "Urgh what? Yeah, good one. Fucking hell, bye"
Dead romantic.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:49, archived)

hahahahaahah

( jenpots, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:50, archived)

start the day
With a whiskey in your tea. Perk you right, be back in the pub by midday.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:40, archived)

As much as I like a drink
I have never once woke up and thought a booze was a good idea in the morning, or daylight for that matter.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:50, archived)