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I'm giving you 23 quid.
Now you've got 50 quid. Buy yourself something nicer and remember that it was me that gave you 50 quid not that cheapskate polski and his 27 quid. Who the fuck gives 27 quid? Not me. You've got 50. Big and pink and crinkly. Like your vagina.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:07, archived)
With the queen's head on it.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:08, archived)
5000 penny sweet shrimps
if they are still a penny and not 4p or summink
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:08, archived)
They're probably illegal or something.
They're also shit. I bet you're only saying shrimps because you know they're shit and want people to hate you.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)


(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:08, archived)
Eaither kid's rates have gone up, or you're gonna have the orgy of your life.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:14, archived)
hmm, Dalmore or Talisker?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:09, archived)
Highland Park.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:09, archived)
What's the one with the black and white scotchie dogs on it?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)
shortbread, you daft twat

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
My shortbread tin has a really bad picture of Edingburrow Castle on it.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:12, archived)
Stop it.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)
Ye no ken fit am on aboot?
The castle in edingburrow.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)
Stop it now...

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)
I once caught a train from Birmingham to Glasgow with an american couple on their way to Edinburgh
and I swear I couldn't get them to pronounce either fucking name properly for the whole fucking trip. Edinburrow? BirmingHAM? BirmingHUM? Edinbow?

They'll never find the bodies.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)
Edinbarooga

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)
I went to primary school at George Heriots in Edinburgh
We had a "Royal Visit" and someone wrote that the Jookie Embra had visited, and got their ignorance in the school magazine for all to mock for eternity. Like I'm doing now, many decades later.
(I helped save b3ta! Three Dog Man, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)
Hahaha.
Jookie Embra is my favourite minor Star Wars character.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)
Ha ha!

(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:21, archived)
no, the castle really does look like that

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:18, archived)
I bet you've got one of those drummer boy dolls in a plastic tube as well.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)
I'd fucking love one of those.
And an och aye jimmy wig. And a stuffed highland coooo.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:21, archived)
Fuck knows.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)
Black and White Scotch.
If only I'd put some sort of clue in the question.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:16, archived)
Never heard of it.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:18, archived)
It's what people buy when they can't even afford Bells.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)
Bells is horrific.
A glass of piss would be better.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:21, archived)
It's pretty good in a Manhattan.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)
If I could only afford Bells I'd stick to Irn Bru,
it tastes about as much like whisky.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:22, archived)
Irn Bru is pretty shit in a Manhattan.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:26, archived)
I don't know what a Manhattan is.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)
It's a cocktail. Whisky/whiskey, sweet vermouth and angostura bitters.
A proper cocktail. Not a massive fucking glass of ice and coke served by an over-preened teen who genuinely thinks that juggling bottles doesn't make him worse than a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)
Is that a Manhattan?
doesn't sound too bad.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:32, archived)
PURE BOOZE.
And you get a cherry. Which isn't gay if you have it in a Manhattan. Because there's only booze in a Manhattan.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
I don't like cherries.
You've ruined it.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
to be fair,
for a proper Manhattan, it's both sweet and dry vermouth in equal measures, with twice as much blended whisky as vermouth combined. Just sweet vermouth is for ladies.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
Fuck off back to wikipedia.
You probably have fucking lime in your g&t.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
Fuck off yourself
I was a cocktail barman for a long time. You can have it sweet if you want, it just makes you a girl.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:43, archived)
I bet you were one of those over-preened juggling cunts serving iced coke and cheapshit rum to cunts with their fucking ben sherman shirts untucked and too much fucking hair gel.
Like some sort of cunt.

There's no point putting dry fucking vermouth into whisky and fucking bitters, you tongue-spaz.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:46, archived)
Never flared, it's a waste of time
I enjoyed mixing drinks, i still do, and prefer my manhattans perfect, not sweet. Fuck, it's a drink.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)
Untucked Ben Sherman Shirts.
And too much coke.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:57, archived)
to be honest
it was big fucking tips when they were showing off, and some decent customers when it wasn't the weekend, and i enjoyed learning to mix decent drinks. Some people who drink cocktails aren't cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:06, archived)
I prefer a Vatican
it's like a Manhattan but it's with Catholic bitters rather than angostura ones. The taste has a bit more conviction.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)
I am quite fond of Manhattans.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:37, archived)
They are the future.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)
I think it's called Black and White.
Haven't seen it for years though.

[Edit] Damn- too slow.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:16, archived)
sorry MGT, Ascot was last week, it's too late to place your bets now

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)
Fuck off topping up my gift and calling yourself the better uncle, you cheapskate
your just money laundering my good strong Polish currency and passing it off as your own crippled pound, ya tax dodger.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)
50 quid.
Match that Uncle Zloty.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
Sisters of Mercy had a line that went "counterfeit dollars or the English zloty"
and now every time I hear that I'll think of you, you money-grubbing bastard
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:18, archived)
I like the way he didn't top you, he's only put in £23, but looks like the better person.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)
no ta
can't stand all that 'yo yo yo, we gon' party like it's ya birthday' rubbish.

oh shit wrong currency.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:12, archived)
A used pair of Katy Perry's tights. Off the internet somewhere.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:13, archived)
She's quite attractive.
But stale cunt on nylon is never a winner.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:14, archived)
This is what I would do, if I came into that sum of money.
I'd phone up my mum and say "Hay ma, what are you doing on saturday? Fancy getting a maternay?" and if she was free, she'd get the train up to southgate from cockfosters where I'd meet her, give her a hug and a kiss, and then back on the train - don't worry, I have a monthly Oyster and she has her Ken Livingstone Prezzy. So we'd make our way up to lecster square and see those booths that sale tickets that haven't been sold yet, you can pick up good tickets for £20ish, espesh on a maternay. The trick is not to have anything specific in mind, last one we saw was Wicked, which was marvoulous, really amazing set, buetiful costumes and singing and oh god this morphine and diazipam is kicking in and I'm about half an inch above my body right now as I haven't had any all day. I think we'll go and see Ghost maybe, or Les Mis would be good to see if that bloke from Little Britain is in it. I'm easy going, I don't mind what we see. But that's what I would do, and if there is any change, actually, if there isn't I'd pay anyway, we'd get a coffee and share a slice of cake. Oh no, I forgot about getting some malteezers for the film, I've gone over budget, but I'll get that anyway, I don't mind really, anything to make my Ma' happy.

I think that would be a splended day, hold on one moment while I call her to let her know my friend on the internet has given me some money to take her out. She needs it, close family friend died this week, she could do with the day out. Thank you so much.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:13, archived)
39 Steps is good gonz, take yer ma to see that. I paid a tenner for that too.

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)
What's it about?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:18, archived)
four people join Narcotics Anonymous
one guy drops out.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)
comedy remake of the John Buchan novel/Hitchcock film, spiffing 1930s thriller involving spies and a dashing hero who gets the gal in the end.
only 4 cast members, they play all the parts, hilarity ensues. It's at the Criterion, Piccadilly Circus.

www.love39steps.com/
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)
I'm soundsless where I'm at, at the mo', but it looks good.
I want to see that one with the horse.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)
War Horse? I want to see that too. maybe we should have a romantic evening at the theatre together cuddling up and snogging in the back row.

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:26, archived)
That's the one, the movement on it is amazing, they had a thing on it on BBC Breakfast. I'd be up for that.
If Shambles increases his budget I want to go to see the spiderman one in New York, I don't care how shit they say it is, for that kind of dosh the sets and stunts will be amazing.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)
Save your money and watch the Batman show instead.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:36, archived)
You'll only spend it on smack, you fucking junkie.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)
She's delighted, thank you so much, it's made her so happy.
I'll bring you back reciepts if you want.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:18, archived)
Good Doctor
Make it another tenner and me and cowjam have got a a spaceship.
www.b3ta.com/talk/7222998
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:14, archived)
An autographed picture of Britain's Sweeheart, Cheryl Cole!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)
*kicks in door of newsagents* SHOPKEEP! 5000 OF YOUR FINEST PENNY SWEETS PLEASE!!

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:24, archived)
Fat

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:28, archived)
'why certainly sir. 5000 black jacks? that's a lot of black jacks sir. that's immigration for you sir, gor blimey, send em all back I say'

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)