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Right, enough of that arachnid-mutilating nonce.
It's a LOVELY morning here in sunny Oxfordshire. :D
And I'm going to be in work all day. :(

What's good and bad in your lives today The LOVELY /talkers?
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:07, archived)
bit early to say yet

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:27, archived)
Fair enough mongy.

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:31, archived)
hello the delightful stooooojy

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:00, archived)
'Ning the LOVELY Womby.

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:04, archived)
do you have plans for this loveliest of october days?

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:23, archived)
Nah, I'm at work until 7 this evening.
So, no plans for me.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:45, archived)
awww. think of the money, honey

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:46, archived)
Jazzmo Harrington And The Sunshine Doowap Tumours are popping round for a jam session. :)
But I've run out of eggs. :(
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:28, archived)
you fat ballbag

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:30, archived)
that's not very nice
i wish we didn't have to fight
there's so much to be done
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:31, archived)
not long till christmas now

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:32, archived)
I can't believe it's less than a week until Yom Kippur already.

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:35, archived)
i dont eat fish

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:35, archived)
comedy gold that, you cunts :(

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:47, archived)
I don't get it.

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:55, archived)
nyom kipper, or some shit
I'M LEAVING 4EVA
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:56, archived)
HURRAH!
:D
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 9:02, archived)
Oh, wait, KIPPER!
:D
Nice one mongy.
:D
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 9:01, archived)
HURRAH!
:D
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:32, archived)
just me and the kids today
Not sure if this comes under good or bad. Time will tell. Didn't sleep much.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:33, archived)
take them to mcdonalds as a special treat

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:34, archived)
they'll get a kinder egg and like it

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:35, archived)
They have new toys in kinder now, thank christ.

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:36, archived)
Like an iPad? Wow, that would be awesome!

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:37, archived)
that line of thinking will leave you and your kids sorely dissappointed

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:40, archived)
so you're saying it'll be more like a kindle? I can live with that

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:42, archived)
it would be a small platic immitation kindle.
On the plus side, it may be a toy plane!!111!!!11!!!!1!!
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:46, archived)
Controversy was averted...they went for Smarties

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:39, archived)
Bad parent.
Think of the sugar. Don't you care about the obesity epidemic? DON'T YOU?
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:42, archived)
Good morning folks.
I'm ready for a day in front of the TV because I'm not in Paris.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:43, archived)
PHEW! Thank goodness TH.

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:44, archived)
Is it troo that smarties are a bit shit these days?
That they're not made of E-numbers and crack anymore?
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:45, archived)
They seem exactly the same to me

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:49, archived)
They don't look as shiny anymore.

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:53, archived)
Yeah, they're all pale.
Not bright like they used to be.
:(
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:57, archived)
I'm watching pokemon.
It's hurting my head.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:16, archived)
Yeah, I was wide awake at 3 this morning.
:(
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:37, archived)
it was pretty hot last night

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:40, archived)
I drank too much wine :'(
I feel like a grown-up, with a hangover.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:34, archived)
Next time mix it with whisky.

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:38, archived)
As always gentle Stuj, wise advice.

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:40, archived)
It's rained a bit thus cooling it the fuck down
Get in! I might go out or summat.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:35, archived)
you should head to gravesend, the cheating weather cunts

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:36, archived)
Probably just go down B&Q
Get a bit of lagging before it gets icy
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:38, archived)
indoor or outdoor lagging?

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:43, archived)
Indoor
Probably get summat to poke up the cavity wall in the bird's crappy extention. Froze right up last year, bad times.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:50, archived)
rockwool is good

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:52, archived)
Righto
There's a little gap about 6" by 4" with access to a cock, so I need to be able to cram it through that.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 9:18, archived)
yeah, get some and stuff it in, wear long sleves and gloves if possible

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 9:22, archived)
Safety first, Mongy

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:03, archived)
You lucky bastard.
Way too hot for me here.
:(
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:39, archived)
Sweaty times, Studge
:(
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:51, archived)
I can't get a mortgage for a few months because Equifax are twunts - this is bad
I have a wonderful boyfriend - this is very good
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:37, archived)
Booo.
HURRAH!
I take it that the boyfriend thing means you no longer require pandering.
*Crosses The LOVELY Ruby off The Pandering List*
:D
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:40, archived)
You've been pandering to me whilst I've been with him
I still need pandering to and I don't think he minds. Depends if you still want to I suppose.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:45, archived)
HELL YEAH!
*Panders*
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:47, archived)
Why are you in Oxfordshire?
I thought you lived in Welshland?
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 9:22, archived)
Christ no.
I work here when I'm not in penguinland. The only places we've got left to work in Wales are Valley which is full of Gogs and Baby Growbags or Aberporth which is more than a bit shit.
:(
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 9:27, archived)
Why the sad face?
You're not there now, neither are you in penguin land, and you've got lots of Internet womens to pander at.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 9:30, archived)
True.
:D
Although I did love working in Cardiff.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 9:31, archived)
Also, Wales is like Ireland.
It's so fucking great* that all the best people leave it.
:D
*Is not really fucking great at all.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 9:30, archived)
Good - four days more of this shithole and then out of here...
Bad, Egyptian Cops coz someone nicked a pickup truck from our yard yesterday. Egyptian cops are 100% scum...wanted to interogate me about my involvement despite having an eye witness as to who nicked the fucking thing. Cunts.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:39, archived)
They'll be after some baksheesh The LOVELY fagilliD.
All Egyptian coppers are the same.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:43, archived)
I know....
And they aint getting any, which means I am without a police report, which means I cannot file an insurance claim. Second truck this year, at least this one was not removed at gunpoint. Also, it is almost 100% sure an inside job as well....
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:45, archived)
holy shit I've put my contact lenses in too soon my eyes are going to melt

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:40, archived)
See, The LOVELY Eely, if only you'd ignored what your mum said about boys not fancying girls what wear glasses.
But oh no, you had to listen to her glassism.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 8:45, archived)

                                                   _  _ 
_______ _____ _______ ______ _ ______ (_)(_)
(__ _ __)(_____) (_______)(______)(_) (______)(_)(_)
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(_) ( ) ( ) __(_)__ (_) (_)____ (_)____ _ _
(_) (_) (_)(_______)(_) (______)(______)(_)(_)




(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:26, archived)
YES! The LOVELY Emm Emm Pee Ess!
*Manders*
:D
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:38, archived)
*basks in a Stuj madering*

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:45, archived)

 ____  ____  ____  ____  __    ____  ___ 
(_ _)( _ \(_ _)( ___)( ) ( ___)(__ )
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(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:48, archived)

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(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:50, archived)
bugger
  ______ .______       _______ .___  ___.  _______ 
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.______ .______ __ __ __ _______ _______
| _ \ | _ \ | | | | | | | ____|| ____|
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| _

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:50, archived)

                             
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88 ,adPPPPP88 88 88
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88 `"8bbdP"Y8 88 88

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:54, archived)

                                                             
__ __ _____ _ __ _
| | |___ _ _ | |___| |_ | | ___ ___ ___ ___ _| |
|_ _| . | | | | --| .'| _| | |__| -_| . | . | -_| . |
|_| |___|___| |_____|__,|_| |_____|___|_ |_ |___|___|
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(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:10, archived)

 ********** *******   ** ******** **       ******** ** **
/////**/// /**////** /**/**///// /** /**///// /**/**
/** /** /** /**/** /** /** /**/**
/** /******* /**/******* /** /******* /**/**
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(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:52, archived)
MECHA-TRIFLE The AWESOME Bee Emm.
Mixed in a washing machine.
:D
*Manders*
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:02, archived)


. .--.. ..---.. . ..
| : :\ / | | \ / |
| | | \ / |--- | : |
| : ; \ / | | | '
'---'`--' ' '---''---'' o

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:04, archived)
Alright Stuj?
I went to an OffTopic bash last night, it was alright, there was a couple of people who were pilled up and on massive drugs. I really hope that their heart rate doesn't extend to the point where the pressure build up combined with years of self abuse doesn't lead to some sort of blockage in the left ventrical leading onto a massive cardiac arrest and eventuall death.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 10:46, archived)
You did The AWESOME Gonzy? I hope you had a FANTASTIC time. Did you manage to get a girl for yourself?
Don't tell anyone I said this, but some of them OffTopicers are ok. some of the /links types too.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:01, archived)
It was alright but some pilled up prick with no sense of personal space kept on talking to me and I wanted him to fuck off, so I thought to myself...
..."Fuck off, you're borring me, you're not funny, you're just invaiding my personal space. In fact, you know what? You stay, and I'll fuck off" so I ordered a cab but then some really really pretty and nice people wanted me to stay but I had already ordered the cab and if I didn't get in I would have had to pay for it anyway, so I just got in and left early.

I think it's fair to say, people on pills and coke and whatever it was, I want fuck all to do with.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:10, archived)
Yeah, fuck that. Do you wish you had just told that clown to fuck off?

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:13, archived)
I reckon when you buy pills and coke and what-not, they should have warning signs on the packet like ciggerettes...
... like pictures of the next day of someone crying on the toilet with a speech-bubble above it's head saying "I wish I didn't take some MDMA last night because this come down has given me clinical depression." or a picture of someone drinking a pint of water and a sign that says "I am very thursty because the exctasy pill I took has dehydratted me, but if I drink too much water then I'll drown because I've drank too much water".
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:18, archived)
Or a picture of somone looking at you in disgust as you sweat like fuck and talk shite, a thought bubble saying: I thought he was alright but what a cunt!

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:21, archived)
Oh man, why didn't you just say "Oh did you know that (Random b3tan's name) is actually an undercover cop?"
They'd probably have fucked off pretty sharpish.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:21, archived)
Name and shame

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:55, archived)
I've started an investigation.
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1375566
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 13:07, archived)
Yeah sorry about that, I'd double dropped & they were kicking in big time

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 13:07, archived)
I'm just up out of bed,
It really is another lovely day. I have to work later on though which sucks. Still, lunch in the park sounds like the plan for now.
How're the planes stuj? Anyone good in?
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:22, archived)
'Ning The AWESOME Win Pug.
Excellent planning there.
Nah it's just the standard grey and green ones today.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:28, archived)
definitely,
Also just had a call from work saying there is something wrong with the drains, so although ill have to go in to work for stock takes, I might not have to bother with customers.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:52, archived)
Morning WP.
Pissing down here, has been all weekend.

Fuck you weather, fuck you.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:39, archived)
if you will live in the wild wastes north of the wall,
You get everything you deserve, my super best Bokko buddy.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:54, archived)
At least other shit countries get good weather :'(

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 13:50, archived)
I'm touching my nipples, you like that don't you

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:05, archived)
sounds lovely

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:05, archived)
Damn right I do The LOVELY bBbbBBbBbrrRrrrRrrRooOOOoooOoaAAaaadDDDDdddddsSSsssswwwwwwwwWooOOooorrrrRdDDDdd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:19, archived)
Can we all touch your nipples?

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:34, archived)
Of course! This Sunday is turning out far sexier than I anticipated

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:40, archived)

 
_ _ ____ ____ _ _____ ____ _ _
/ \ /|/ \/ __\/ __\/ \ / __// ___\/ \/ \
| |\ ||| || \/|| \/|| | | \ | \| || |
| | \||| || __/| __/| |_/\| /_ \___ |\_/\_/
\_/ \|\_/\_/ \_/ \____/\____\\____/(_)(_)


(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 13:46, archived)

                                                        
_|_|_| _|_| _| _| _| _| _| _|
_| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _|
_|_|_| _| _| _| _| _| _| _|
_| _| _| _| _| _|
_| _|_| _|_|_|_| _|_|_|_| _| _| _|



(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 13:49, archived)
In a bit I'm off to spend the day with the LOVELY HATD - that's the good.
I'll let you know if any bad crops up. So far, none.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:11, archived)
HURRAH!
Another WIN for The LOVELY And AWESOME aAAAaAaAaAAAaaaAaaaAaAAaaaaaAaarRRRrrrRRRRrdvaAAaAaaaaAaaAaaaaAaaAAAaaAaarRRRRrkKkKkKk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:21, archived)
Come and have a drink with us again sometime soon, lovely stuj.
:D
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:23, archived)
Man, I STILL haven't even sorted out a drink with The LOVELY Win Pug and Tee Eff Dee yet either.
:/
I'm HOPELESS at this sort of thing.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 13:32, archived)
How long are you in the Northern Hemisphere for?

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 13:39, archived)
Until December probably.
:D
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 13:41, archived)
Be careful there, dunno if its true but I heard girls can try to get you drunk and touch your special area
aaAAaaAAAAAAAAaaaaAaAaAaaAaaAArRrRRrRRRRRrdvAaAAaaAaaaaAAAaaAAaaAAaAAAaaaAaaarRRRrrrrRRrrk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:27, archived)
All my areas are special.
:D
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:28, archived)
I hope people realise that my typing :D every time someone does the Aardvark Greeting thing is not just a reflex.
It really does make me smile when people do it.
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 12:28, archived)

aaAaAaaAAaaaAAaAAAaaaaAAArrRrRrrrrRRRRRrdvAAAAAAaaAAaAaaAAAaAAaAaaaAAAAAAAaAaRrRrrRRrrRrRRrrk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 14:42, archived)
how is this on the popuLOL?
gay
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 19:27, archived)
your gay

(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 21:40, archived)
so's your mum

(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 15:08, archived)
Good - fry up and touring cars on TV
Bad - Nothing!
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 14:48, archived)
HURRAH!
:D
(, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 14:50, archived)