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What's your favourite half-arsed metaphor from seminal (for which read "shit") early rap track Rapper's Delight?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:27, archived)
fuck off dullard

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:28, archived)
Spare us your life story.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:47, archived)
give it a rest

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:26, archived)
classic:
"like a rainy day that is not wet"
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:29, archived)
HE HAS RETURNEDETH

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:33, archived)
I'm similar to a millionaire with no money
in that I am here, yes, but I'll probably go soon, and just punch some of the mongooses I purchased when I had such a vast quantity of money.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:36, archived)
please dont leave
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:41, archived)
god damnit he left didnt he

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:01, archived)
you scared him off

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:05, archived)
dont say that im fragile right now i dont need that sort of damage to my self esteem

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:17, archived)
he was scared of your grace and beauty

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:18, archived)
eyes of an angel

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:30, archived)
it's OK, he said he'd come back for us didn't he, well if he said he would then he will

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:06, archived)
GMOS wouldn't leave us here like this

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:06, archived)
don't worry

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:06, archived)
he'll be back soon with the torches and the blankets and the splint for Dr S's leg, just like he said he would

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:07, archived)
he'll get back to us

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:07, archived)
before the wolves

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:08, archived)
and the...the other things

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:08, archived)
find us, we just have to stay cheerful and try to stop Dr S bleeding too much, DON'T CRY like that Dr S, the sound really carries

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:09, archived)
gmos has gone vlad, let it go

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:13, archived)
:(
goodnite fleet shoes
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:14, archived)
"He can't satisfy you with his little worm, but I can bust you out with my super sperm"

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:35, archived)
I don't want to know how you've made your rainy day drier.

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:37, archived)
by playing bass, of course

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:45, archived)
^ GrandmaOfShoes

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:52, archived)
never heard of it

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:31, archived)
Dunno, I've only heard it a couple of times so I can only remember the hip hop hippie bit at the start.
I can't imagine why anyone would want to listen to it more than this though.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:31, archived)
my favourite rappers are Run-EMF, jurassic park and fatboy slim.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:39, archived)
Sorry I meant Jurassic Five, I love that one that goes five will make you get down now, baby bring it on bring it on bring it on!

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:41, archived)
Sorry I meant Jackson Five
Don't blame it on sunshine
Don't blame it on moonlight
Don't blame it on good times
Blame it on the jews
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:07, archived)
Sorry you meant Five Star

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:10, archived)
Thats silk and steel

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:16, archived)
Also my favourit rapper is the one that did that willy bum bum rap

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:53, archived)
My favourite rappers are the dead ones who don't rap any more

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:57, archived)
Me too, I chose my user name to be like my favourite dead rapper 2can shakur

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:00, archived)
yer cause heavy metal is a thing of beauty, wanker

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:04, archived)
I like NWA as they reflect what it's like for people like me

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:49, archived)
Everybody say hotel, motel, Holiday Inn...
say if your girl starts acting up, then you take her friend.

They don't write them like that anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:45, archived)
It was a higher class of crass misogyny and consumerism in those days.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:46, archived)
Damn straight.

(I helped save b3ta! djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:50, archived)
I don't know about rap music,
but the most amusing metaphor I've read this week comes from the World Gold Council, via a Portuguese news website:

The WGC stresses the obvious point that money (euros) “is abstract – numbers on a computer screen. By contrast, gold is concrete.”

It's got all the charm of a mixed metaphor, except it isn't mixed.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:52, archived)
So before computers there was no money?

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:55, archived)
Yes but then it was just numbers in an account book.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:56, archived)
There's nothing worse than improperly mixed concrete

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:56, archived)
I dunno being eaten by a shark sounds pretty bad

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:02, archived)
Have you been sending Gonz icebreakers?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:04, archived)
might send him a croc clip muffin

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:05, archived)
and a juicer
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1822232
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:07, archived)
oh I thought you meant the sort of ship,
I've never heard it used in that context before. I've heard of breaking the ice at parties, thanks to Monty Python.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:09, archived)
Yep "Tis a flesh wound"
always goes down well at a party when showing of your gash
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:11, archived)
I don't go to that kind of party.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:12, archived)
*Retrieves car keys from the bowl*

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:13, archived)
One could lead to the other, you could be walking along the seafront minding your own business
and then you catch your foot in the flaking concrete path and trip over the wall, falling straight into the mouth of the shark waiting below
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:08, archived)
true, true,
then again you could get eaten by a shark just before you were about to finish mixing some concrete, and then the concrete wouldn't get mixed properly.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:11, archived)
The number of times workmen have been to repair that path, and it always ends the same way :(

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:15, archived)
I well like breasts

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 17:57, archived)
Sorry we only serve thighs at this time

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:04, archived)
alright Shambols
Singing on n n on n on on n on like a hot buttered pop, da pop da pop don’t dibble dibble pop da pop pop ya.

thought I best step in correct this situation for you
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:03, archived)
Which part of "metaphor" are you struggling with?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:44, archived)
I think I'll make some granola this evening

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:50, archived)
get out there then bitch and shake that money maker

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 18:56, archived)
alright mongy

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:00, archived)
yeah, nearly bedtime innit

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:06, archived)
what about a nice flapjack?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:00, archived)
I am not keen enough on flapjacks to make them
malted chocolate cereal bars on the other hand
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:01, archived)
I remember making something that involved melting marshmallows into rice crispies
Like something extruded from an ovipositor
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:06, archived)
cloacabar

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:10, archived)
this sounds like the worst idea anybody ever had

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:08, archived)
*preens*

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:10, archived)
merlin has been replaced by insufferable people playing Kinect games :(

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:36, archived)
I hope you don't say a bad word about Claire Balding

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:39, archived)
she can't be needing the money after this summer
Drug debts?
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:42, archived)
Gambling on the ponies
you'd think she'd have better inside info
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:53, archived)
I have no fucking clue what's happening now

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 20:01, archived)