If you were James Bond right
what would you say after shagging some bird? I'd totally raise one eyebrow and say summink like "hahaha I just fucked you".
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 22:56, archived)

I'd probably have to say
something about being done by a girl and make a lesbian related quip.
None of it is really to my taste if i'm honest, but i did my best to answer you.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 22:58, archived)

You couldn't be a girl and be James Bond
this is ridiculous, why are you being like this.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 22:59, archived)

Janes Bond then
even if the name dosn't quite make sense
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:04, archived)

'you, my dear, were a dripping good yarn'
She would be a publisher's daughter
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:07, archived)

I like this
I reckon I might go for "yeah I bet you loved that, right in your Pacific Jack Mackerel" if she operated a deep sea trawler.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:10, archived)

Or maybe if she worked in an open cast mine
I'd be all like "some form of water control is usually required to keep the mine pit from becoming a lake, if the mine is situated in a climate of considerable precipitation or if any layers of the pit forming the mine border productive aquifers, you sexy bitch" and she'd be all like "oh James".
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:12, archived)

Wagwan gurl, I double OHHHHHHH seven yo' fine bootalicious bodacious good GAWD ya' ass bein' all gracious....yahgetzme.
Playa' can't quit up in dis house 'cuz I be takin' home da muff cup for the mantal piece.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:29, archived)

I would say 'thanks for the sex' because I am a gentleman.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:36, archived)

Yeah you could be all like
"thanks for the sex, great tits and a nice shag" cause she was a taxidermist specialising in birds and she'd be totally like "oh James"
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:38, archived)

And then he could say 'you can keep the tip' and the end pops off cos Q has hidden a gun up his winky and he shoots her in the face.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:42, archived)

Yeah totally and then he'd run away but leave an oil slick and some spiky things out of his bumhole

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:46, archived)

james bond is a bit of a dick
i'm just looking at some of the death threats that ball boy is getting on twitter from chelsea fans
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:37, archived)

sending some of my own too lol

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:37, archived)

Yeah well I'd like to see you say that to his face

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:39, archived)

i think he's just a character in a film

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:42, archived)

Hurtful lies

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:44, archived)

i've not seen that one

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:46, archived)

The name's bonk.
james bonk
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:37, archived)

soz that's never happened before :(

( broadsword, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:46, archived)

Tell you what, give yourself a funny name like Fanny Cocklicker
and I'll be James Bond and I'll totally fuck you and be all like "yeah Miss Cocklicker nice one" and you'll be all like "oh James"
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:50, archived)

Hang on how come I'm Fanny Cocklicker?

( broadsword, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:53, archived)

Because it's a funny name and I think it quite suits your dress which matches your eyes

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:01, archived)

Oh James

( broadsword, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:03, archived)

By inserting my control rod into your hot reactor I have reduced the pressure in my fuel storage tanks and averted a very messy explosion.
They were doing it in a nuclear power plant.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:52, archived)

Or 'tank you very much, now do you know where my panzer? (pants are)
They were doing it in a tank
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:01, archived)

Or 'is that a baby sheep or asian butter on your leg joint?'
They were doing it in a lamborghini
( broadsword, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:06, archived)

Fucking hell
Fucking
Hell.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:12, archived)

I don't mean to be crude but I'm going to drill deep into your gas reservoir
They were doing it in a refinery
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:13, archived)

I'd make a witty callback to a flirtatious moment we shared during our eventful first meeting.
Or I'd make a witty callback to a tense moment where it looked like we were never going to get along due to our equally extreme yet opposing views/backgrounds/expectations, which may come across as a demeaning comment if you were looking to be offended by a Bond film, for fucks sake.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 23:55, archived)

Who's getting offended you dull cunt?

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:00, archived)

Why do you ask?

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:11, archived)

Dunno, bored now

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:12, archived)

I've thought of two animal related ones:
I hope you didn't find that ...unBEARable. (the story somehow involved bears)
I had a WHALE of a time. (the were shagging on a whale)
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:09, archived)

oh DEER
he loses his erection after they are startled by a deer
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:14, archived)

She could have a throat infection and he says 'you sound a little HORSE' but also they are doing it on a horse.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:18, archived)

He goes 'you seem like a nice BIRD', do you fancy sucking my COCK or are you CHICKEN cos it tastes UNPLEASANT (pheasant)

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:24, archived)

"DAS BOOTS"
They were doing it in Boots
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:29, archived)

You seem a little crabby
They're doing it on a beach but also she has crabs
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:32, archived)

CHIMPANSEE YOU LATER!
he was fucking a chimp
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:25, archived)

Oh James

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:27, archived)

i'd say nothing i'd just leave a really really awkward silence

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:34, archived)

You charming bastard

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:38, archived)

i'm kidding i'd say "your clopper is bang tidy cheers for letting us chuck my muck up yer"

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:47, archived)

Oh man and I just totally had a wank over the awkward silence :(

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:50, archived)

smyls

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:55, archived)

Now make me a sandwich.
lololsexistlol
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:40, archived)

How much was it again?

( Christian's Bolt and Ski, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 0:41, archived)

STD and shaken and not stirred
There's something in there
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 2:19, archived)

Nothing.
She'd be dead.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 24 Jan 2013, 8:07, archived)