Yes yes y'all, a-to the beat y'all
Hi guy's, I'm an 'old school rapper'.

Haha, not really, it was me (Queef Richard's) all along! I'm not an 'old school rapper' at all! Fuck me I am bored as shit.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:30, archived)

alright boyce you wanker, those turquoise pumas are arriving today lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:39, archived)

they were my 'most wanted' for fucking years
Until I got some of course
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:43, archived)

those mustard yellow ones are alright as well

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:47, archived)

nah, not for me

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:48, archived)

I only ever wear those motorcycle boots with the straps and the ring on the side 'cause I'm a unique individual who doesn't follow the rules. Take that society!
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:01, archived)

alright Windy Pig, haven't seen you on here for a few days

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:07, archived)

Soz, don't know who that is. I'm just so tired from carving my own path you know?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:56, archived)

school rapp +wank
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:44, archived)

I'm wanking all day and I'm wanking all night
I'm wanking to the beat and I wank it up tight
( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:54, archived)

it's a fair cop guv

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:45, archived)

alright m8, I'm joining you in the 'bored as shit' club today
also those couple of shandies last night were a mistake
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:59, archived)

I'm just trying to get through the next few months one day at a time
keyword: shandies
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:46, archived)

+hand

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:03, archived)

standard

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:55, archived)

you want to get yourself a proper job

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:08, archived)

I fear you might be right m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:45, archived)

*hops hip*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:27, archived)

and you don't stip

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:46, archived)

I can do a really solid head spin
But I choose not to
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:29, archived)

^ spinny bumskull

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:58, archived)

*slowly rotates*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:38, archived)

I am procrastinating
As I need to clean the house but I don't want to
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:29, archived)

dozer will pay you to do it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:47, archived)

Try procrasturbating instead. Much more rewarding.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 1 Jul 2021, 17:15, archived)

Just had an order from a hospital for "Glycopyrronium *UP G* 2% solution".
We make glycopyrronium bromide solution, but I have absolutely no idea what "*UP G*" means in this context. My best guess is that they want someone to phone them up and say "what's *UP G*?"
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:42, archived)

I fucking hope so
That would be fantastic
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 12:48, archived)

I believe it's a type of updog.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 1 Jul 2021, 18:09, archived)

Mick Harris interview, worth a read
thequietus.com/articles/30140-mick-harris-interview-scorn-napalm-death
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:32, archived)

having just read it, I disagree

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:46, archived)

WELL GO FUCK YOURSELF THEN

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:47, archived)

it does go on a bit, admittedly

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:48, archived)

to spare anyone else the bother
'I released a record under the name Knob on a Belgian label run by Gunther Spunkbreath, he was great to work with. Then I made one under the name Wank with David Turd, then I did another one as Knob. Then I thought, oh, I want to do another Wank record so I recorded one for the German Tedium label. Then I thought to myself I want another Knob. Then I didn't record anything for a bit. Then I made a record as Guff-tits in Amsterdam...'

Only 15 times longer.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 13:50, archived)

Sounds good

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 14:36, archived)

mate you're no idea, it's riveting

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:08, archived)

he had a massive rant on facebook a few weeks ago, apparently very upset about Lee Dorrian's shop

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:16, archived)

why, it looks amazing

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:29, archived)

sour grapes, I don't think they are good friends

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:58, archived)

I most certainly did not

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:37, archived)

well tangles says you did and I for one believe him
it's exactly the sort of thing you'd do. Why can't you just be happy for other people for once? Jesus.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:42, archived)

Look, if I get the chance to ruin someone's day, I'm going to take it, right?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:51, archived)

Well you're really only ruining your own, when all's said and done.
Think on *that*, if you will.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:55, archived)

I'm petitioning for him to be banned from all social media

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:59, archived)

*starts gaz petition*

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 17:03, archived)

just not in the spirit of /ot

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 17:16, archived)

*signs*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 17:37, archived)

lol deaf

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 18:01, archived)

What?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 18:20, archived)

What happened after guff-tits? This is the best thing I’ve read in ages.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:17, archived)

You wouldn't believe me if I told you, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:31, archived)

The credibility of the fake PayPal email I got today was somewhat undermined by the fact that the subject read “Papal Service”

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 14:23, archived)

haha, I had an email from a 'JILLBI DEN' earlier

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 14:30, archived)

George Soros wants to give me six million dollars, and he spelled his name correctly so it must be legit.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:03, archived)

Yeah I like calling the new guy Jobby Den

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:18, archived)

haha, I'll bet you do!!
mind if I nick that for my social media 'presence'? I'm a major 'influencer' with loads of 'followers' so you'd get great 'exposure'.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:39, archived)

Can I get a free sample?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 23:27, archived)

THE POPE

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:11, archived)

I’m in Warrington
I am going to look at shoes in Millets. It’s the done thing in the north. Had some of this famous “cheap northern beer” yesterday fucking hell it was rank.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 15:30, archived)

was it from a Sam Smith's pub?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:40, archived)

a
+es
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:56, archived)

brown piss with hints of brackish pondwater and whippet turds?
I think I've had that one
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 16:41, archived)