Smeg off, you smegger's
Not really, hi. Busy day ahead? Thai bbq fish l8r here, bit of shopping first.

Prolly wee on a wigeon
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 13:19, archived)

About 10 feet away from Adrian Chiles
Might sneeze on him and tell him his column is shit.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jun 2023, 13:55, archived)

He's perfecting the art of making a living by writing about literally nothing.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 3 Jun 2023, 19:58, archived)

Keith R Swank, you mean.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 20:04, archived)

Too harsh.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 3 Jun 2023, 22:14, archived)

BBQ this afternoon
Leaving shortly
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 13:58, archived)

^ quock lover

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 14:59, archived)

Football in telly then pee in the garden in solidarity with our dog

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 15:06, archived)

Good idea to put a football through the telly just to make sure you don't end up having to watch any of that nasty sports

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 19:43, archived)

Pee in telly then dogging in the garden in solidarity with football

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 15:20, archived)

Dogging with Telly Savalas
Then putting a football full of Billy up the japper
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 15:24, archived)

Anything good on the japper?

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 15:30, archived)

Dog saliva
Alt: Bally Jipper
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 20:53, archived)

Bit of gardening done, now chilling with a cider in the sun.
Might smeg on a smew later.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 15:55, archived)

+ uphill

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 19:44, archived)

Surgery bbq social and then had to take the kids to a birthday party cos the wife didn't want to do it.
She told me there would be lots of other dads there to talk to but ended up being just me and a load of mums and kids. Apparently there was some football on or something.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 19:47, archived)

The conjunction of 'surgery' with 'bbq' there sounds rather odd and potentially distasteful.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 3 Jun 2023, 19:59, archived)

BBQ with home-made jerk chicken, YEAH BWOY!!!!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 3 Jun 2023, 19:59, archived)

What nationality were the chicken's parents?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 20:15, archived)

At least half-Jamaican.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 3 Jun 2023, 20:18, archived)

Yeah but how many of them were jerks?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 20:46, archived)

Sailing awfully close to klaxon territory there

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 21:52, archived)

^ Sort of thing a semi-authentic jerkless chicken apologist might say

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 3 Jun 2023, 22:01, archived)