Fucking whinging annoying bastard
this estate I'm sorting out, well, I've managed to get an offer of £250k for the property which is a miracle - the market in the area is dead so myself, the estate agent and the solicitors are overjoyed. One of the beneficiaries has been such a pain in the arse I've had to tell him to speak directly to the solicitors from now on, I can't deal with his whinging and ill-informed unhelpful suggestions ("why don't you sell the house via a sealed bid?" Because there's only been one fucking offer in the months it's been on the market you Joey, what would we do put it in a shoe box for a week and act surprised when we open it? Twat).

Anyway.

What would you do if someone gave you £100k for doing nothing other than have a distant relative die?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:12, archived)

i'd probably blow it all on hats

( MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:14, archived)

Fed£100,000ra

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:44, archived)

👆

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:54, archived)

I'd buy a pack of Jaffa Cakes.
Actually I might buy a double pack.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:16, archived)

i think we share the same financial advisor

( MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:18, archived)

Buy crypto and magic beans, finance a scat barnyard movie and buy a new kettle
Obvs
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:17, archived)

remember to store your magic beans away from strong magnetic fields

( MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:20, archived)

You are truly a man of science
Have a banana
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:32, archived)

is it radioactive?

( MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:35, archived)

Are you sure about the kettle?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:44, archived)

A gold plated one with a diamond handle

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:52, archived)

exquisite

( MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:36, archived)

I’d spunk it all up the wall tbh

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:24, archived)

spend the fucking lot on billy

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:31, archived)

You may need a spare japper, I know where to get them on the dark web
Tbh
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:35, archived)

What, like Japper Cakes?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:43, archived)

I ate loads of Asda own brand Frazzles earlier and now my wee wee smells of smoky bacon crisps.

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:47, archived)

FrAsdazzles?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:22, archived)

If u want tbh

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:22, archived)

New cooker
New microwave, bigger air fryer, go mental in the Chinese supermarket, couple of tattoos and a holiday or two.
Also, hire a cleaner
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:58, archived)

A cleaner what?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:24, archived)

House

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:32, archived)

Buy a bigger greenhouse.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:45, archived)

doesn't have to be green, can be any colour

( MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:48, archived)

Bored with my one now.
Here's the before and after, for the many greenhouse aficionados here.

ibb.co/my03LdK

ibb.co/1bVNmr8
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:50, archived)

are the spikes necessary? a pigeon could get hurt.

( MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:57, archived)

I was worried people might not notice it over the fence without them.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:00, archived)

without the injured pigeons?

( MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:09, archived)

For that cash you could get a greenhouse AND a shed
Imagine eh?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:11, archived)

SHED TALK

( MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:15, archived)

No shed?
Gtfo
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:29, archived)

greenhouses are for blobbing birds and woofters
be a real man and get yourself a shed, preferrably 2
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:07, archived)

I have a 10ft x 8ft shed
/HARDSHEDTALK
( MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:36, archived)

seems a bit small tbh
mine is 16x10
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:50, archived)

sorry i missed out the zero
100 x 80
( MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:37, archived)

cms probably

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 22:27, archived)

not much privacy

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 21:32, archived)

Turtle power!

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:26, archived)

I'd just get on with what I'm doing anyway
but with a warm sense of financial security.
( brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:50, archived)

pay off the mortgage and landscape my garden

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:07, archived)

I'd like to invest it wisely, but I wouldn't

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:19, archived)

beanie babies

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:51, archived)

don't take the labels off it devalues them

( MiseryCunt part of the poo, part of the shit, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:01, archived)

My boyfriend had a lobster beanie
He didn't even like them and he knew that I really wanted that lobster, but the fucker wouldn't give it to me.
Prick.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 21:08, archived)

Stick 50K in a Vanguard 60/40 fund and 50K in a Vanguard 80/20 fund and leave it for 5 years

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:19, archived)

What would the return be ?

( mongychops, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:26, archived)

The 60/40 has done 25% since 2019.
Might not sound great but considering Covid etc happened during that period it's a solid return.

The 80/20 fund did about 40% IIRC. Obvs you can't predict what they will do in future but those returns would have been much higher if there wasn't Covid and Ukraine etc.
(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:29, archived)

My firm are recommending Dimensional World Allication fund at the mo, worth a look.

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:30, archived)

I'll have a butchers

( mongychops, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:34, archived)

I think the charge on Vanguard is 0.22%, so V competitive

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:35, archived)

I've had a look ,might enquire. I've always liked my metal markets. Was forex but my brothers and mates retired years ago. Even fella who did 40 years at nomura.

( mongychops, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:49, archived)

I have a chunk in Blue Whale managed fund, have a look at the holdings

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:51, archived)