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Hi pillock's, get yer Queef thread 'ere
Busy weekend ahead? I'm doing a French bread making course at Borough 2moz.

Prolly tit up a terrapin
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Richard's U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 14:44, archived)
Going to my mate's tomorrow
We're taking her kids swimming, then having a bbq and booze. Sunday will be mostly recovering.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 14:48, archived)
Still in Portugal. Kids are being a pain, keep trying to go to nice restaurants but wife gets stressed out because they don't eat anything

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 14:50, archived)
Can’t you just Maddy them and enjoy yourselves?

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:13, archived)
Topical.

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Fri 2 Aug 2024, 18:20, archived)
At least you got some heroin, right?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:03, archived)
hey mofaha! i survived! were you worried about me?
you have to say yes.
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt S P E L L C A S T I N G, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:51, archived)
yes, i have no memory whatsoever of what you're referring to

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 19:54, archived)
you bastard

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt S P E L L C A S T I N G, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 20:52, archived)
now that, i remember

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 20:55, archived)
burger king

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt S P E L L C A S T I N G, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 18:46, archived)
You wanna be careful making that forrin bread
might get a brick thrown at you

ETA: this is a potentially amusing reply relating to current events and not a racist bonehead threat
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder โ‚ wโ‚’โ‚™โ‚–y, wโ‚แตฅy wโ‚’โ‚™dโ‚‘แตฃ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 14:56, archived)
Can't it be both?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:02, archived)
^The voice of bipartisan reason

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:07, archived)
I'm all out of bricks

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder โ‚ wโ‚’โ‚™โ‚–y, wโ‚แตฅy wโ‚’โ‚™dโ‚‘แตฃ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 17:42, archived)
forrins stole em

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 20:23, archived)
Going "glamping" for a couple of nights from Sunday.
Wife got an employee of the quarter award and ยฃ250 voucher about 18 months ago. We were going to use it on a balloon ride, but the cunts keep cancelling every flight we booked so we're putting it towards that instead.

I refuse to type "glamping" without quotes, I'm not garold.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:07, archived)
Fuck that
I don't go on holiday to cook for myself, and I need a pool
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:20, archived)

l
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Richard's U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:22, archived)
Less than 2 minutes

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:29, archived)
that's hardly even enough time to leave a yelp review. you gotta eat less fibre.
or more chocolate. i dunno i'm not a bum expert.
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt S P E L L C A S T I N G, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:52, archived)
So the rumours are false?

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder โ‚ wโ‚’โ‚™โ‚–y, wโ‚แตฅy wโ‚’โ‚™dโ‚‘แตฃ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 17:43, archived)
that's the rumour

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt S P E L L C A S T I N G, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 18:16, archived)
No worries, we'll let them know you aren't coming.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:59, archived)
Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:01, archived)
I fucking hate camping
and picnics
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Richard's U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:22, archived)
and garold

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:24, archived)
It's a boutique en-suite wooden cabin with a wood-fired hot tub.
I wouldn't class it as camping.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:59, archived)
Me too.

(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Fri 2 Aug 2024, 18:21, archived)
Off on hollibobs then?

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:25, archived)
I thought we talked about this

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:06, archived)
Alright garold

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:08, archived)
Good afternoon, can I interest you in the entire copied & pasted contents of a spam e-mail I just received?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:27, archived)
"interest" is poor choice of word here

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:37, archived)
I'll be gaying it up BIG time

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats ๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:24, archived)
Oooh, you'll rearrange the lamps
AND the cushions!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:27, archived)
queer light for a straight shite

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:02, archived)
I'll be offsetting my terrible taste in music, with extraordinary satorial elegance

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats ๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:15, archived)
I'm catsitting at my sister's place in Maidenhead while the family is away
so I'll be going for a run, maybe along the river? Do a bit of shopping in town (Grape Tree for seeds and poncey stuffs). Drinking wine in the garden. Bit of music practise - making a bit of progress with the sight-reading.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:27, archived)
Is it too late to suggest a name change to Shakin' Stevens do you think?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 15:50, archived)
What about Vanilla Ice?
Not as a name for Shakin' Stevens, but as a candidate for a naming intervention
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:04, archived)
Cardi B
hi I'm secondary cardigan
jumper #2 here
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:11, archived)
I for one will NOT find it funny if Shakin' Stevens develops Parkinson's.
/ac
(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Fri 2 Aug 2024, 18:22, archived)
i think this is what got me thinking about it, it's just another good reason for him to change his name
if indeed he is still Shakin'
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 22:49, archived)
I ain't sayin nuttin'

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:05, archived)
Say ejaculating then

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:14, archived)
Poker tournament Sunday
Big blinds
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (โ€ฏอœโ‚’ ใ……โ€ฏอœ โ‚’), Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:19, archived)
For privacy?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 16:38, archived)
poker is dull as fucking dishwater

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt S P E L L C A S T I N G, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 17:16, archived)
Fat people with white sticks and guide dogs?

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 17:55, archived)
Shhh, they don't know they're fat

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 2 Aug 2024, 19:05, archived)