Morning!
I'm off for a newfangled electric bicycle ride through the countryside today :D

What newfangled thing are you doing with your weekend?
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 6:10, archived)

Has anyone said b3ta yet?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 7:00, archived)

b3ta yet

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 9:27, archived)

i hope it has a bell because if you ride past my mum at 20mph from behind
she'll jump out of her skin land right on her broomstick and turn you into a fucking newt
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 7:52, archived)

Ding dong!
It'll only do 20 mph if I pedal really hard. Going downhill, I hit 31 mph, though.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 9:31, archived)

i've never seen my mum so angry than when some podgy prick comes past without dinging their bell
on some new two wheeled electric fat maintainer
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:06, archived)

she'll fite ya

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:08, archived)

Does she walk in the road?
- Cause I cycle on the road not the pavement, because on a bike, I'm operating a vehicle.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:14, archived)

lots of people ride lekky bikes on the 'walking' routes around dartmoor, yes they're allowed, no argument, but lots of tracks are quite narrow
you get weekend warriors flying along and no bells are dinged so now my mum has started doing her walks on the nearside lane of the m5 to avoid them because nobody uses the nearside lane these days
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:26, archived)

I’m on a Greek island eating my own body weight in cheese and drinking cheap lager.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:01, archived)

wahey!
have one for me!
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:22, archived)

actually nm i've got one here
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:23, archived)

ah cheeses
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:23, archived)

I’ll bring you back some cheese to accompany your lager.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:24, archived)

thanks babe
your a real thingie, wassit, small hot thing, poker, no... star. urinal star
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:28, archived)

Prick.
The word you’re looking for is “prick”.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 16:02, archived)

I initially read that as "cheap drinking lager", as opposed to cooking lager I suppose

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:36, archived)

i cooked with lager obnly last week

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:40, archived)

Oh so that's what the supermarket brand 2% stuff must be.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 14:57, archived)

really can't tell you quite how much I love this for you

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:30, archived)

Aww, it’s fucking great here, and somehow you just made it even better.
Thanks V.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 14:51, archived)

:))) ωραία! γεια μας!

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 15:50, archived)

I had to use Google translate to interpret this
as my vocab currently extends no further than “hello” and “thank you”, and even then only spoken. The written stuff is all incomprehensible - it’s all Greek to me.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 16:01, archived)

:)
first one is "oraia" = "nice!" generally a positive exclamation. Second "yamas" is a kind of "cheers!" it's a shortened "your good health" I believe
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 21:58, archived)

Taking my niece to the police station
She wants to press charges against her ex friends for opening her mail. The police will most likely tell her to fuck off and stop wasting their time, but I can't get her to see reason, so I'm just going along with it
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:27, archived)

no wonder council tax is going up

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:29, archived)

Thermal baths today
Getting my rejuve on
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:32, archived)

don't stay in too long you might come out looking like a prune

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:37, archived)

Working in Chelsea today
It's looking lovely in the sunshine
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:50, archived)

i'll have 5lb of la bonnotte spuds please

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 9:06, archived)

I had a burger that you cook in the microwave! Can you imagine such a thing?
It was shit
( broadsword, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 9:35, archived)

we' ve all been there mate
well, maybe not queef, or that boiled in a bag beef nobber
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:10, archived)

And by beef, you mean camel.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 12 Apr 2025, 12:21, archived)

anal

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:53, archived)

meh,

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 11:37, archived)