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Morning!
I'm off for a newfangled electric bicycle ride through the countryside today :D

What newfangled thing are you doing with your weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 6:10, Reply)
Has anyone said b3ta yet?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 12 Apr 2025, 7:00, Reply)
b3ta yet

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 9:27, Reply)
i hope it has a bell because if you ride past my mum at 20mph from behind
she'll jump out of her skin land right on her broomstick and turn you into a fucking newt
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 7:52, Reply)
Ding dong!
It'll only do 20 mph if I pedal really hard. Going downhill, I hit 31 mph, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 9:31, Reply)
i've never seen my mum so angry than when some podgy prick comes past without dinging their bell
on some new two wheeled electric fat maintainer
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:06, Reply)
she'll fite ya

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:08, Reply)
Does she walk in the road?
- Cause I cycle on the road not the pavement, because on a bike, I'm operating a vehicle.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:14, Reply)
lots of people ride lekky bikes on the 'walking' routes around dartmoor, yes they're allowed, no argument, but lots of tracks are quite narrow
you get weekend warriors flying along and no bells are dinged so now my mum has started doing her walks on the nearside lane of the m5 to avoid them because nobody uses the nearside lane these days
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:26, Reply)
I’m on a Greek island eating my own body weight in cheese and drinking cheap lager.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:01, Reply)
wahey!
have one for me!
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:22, Reply)

actually nm i've got one here
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:23, Reply)

ah cheeses
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:23, Reply)
I’ll bring you back some cheese to accompany your lager.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:24, Reply)
thanks babe
your a real thingie, wassit, small hot thing, poker, no... star. urinal star
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:28, Reply)
Prick.
The word you’re looking for is “prick”.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 16:02, Reply)
I initially read that as "cheap drinking lager", as opposed to cooking lager I suppose

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:36, Reply)
i cooked with lager obnly last week

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:40, Reply)
Oh so that's what the supermarket brand 2% stuff must be.

(I helped save b3ta! brb top shit, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 14:57, Reply)
really can't tell you quite how much I love this for you

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:30, Reply)
Aww, it’s fucking great here, and somehow you just made it even better.
Thanks V.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 14:51, Reply)
:))) ωραία! γεια μας!

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 15:50, Reply)
I had to use Google translate to interpret this
as my vocab currently extends no further than “hello” and “thank you”, and even then only spoken. The written stuff is all incomprehensible - it’s all Greek to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 16:01, Reply)
:)
first one is "oraia" = "nice!" generally a positive exclamation. Second "yamas" is a kind of "cheers!" it's a shortened "your good health" I believe
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 21:58, Reply)
Taking my niece to the police station
She wants to press charges against her ex friends for opening her mail. The police will most likely tell her to fuck off and stop wasting their time, but I can't get her to see reason, so I'm just going along with it
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:27, Reply)
no wonder council tax is going up

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:29, Reply)
Thermal baths today
Getting my rejuve on
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:32, Reply)
don't stay in too long you might come out looking like a prune

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:37, Reply)
Working in Chelsea today
It's looking lovely in the sunshine
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:50, Reply)
i'll have 5lb of la bonnotte spuds please

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 9:06, Reply)
I had a burger that you cook in the microwave! Can you imagine such a thing?
It was shit
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 9:35, Reply)
we' ve all been there mate
well, maybe not queef, or that boiled in a bag beef nobber
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:10, Reply)
And by beef, you mean camel.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 12 Apr 2025, 12:21, Reply)
anal

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:53, Reply)
meh,

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 12 Apr 2025, 11:37, Reply)