Alright everyone.
There's a rat in my attic, what amma gonna doo?
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:23, archived)

Alright ocsp you weirdo

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:30, archived)

Alright Doz.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:44, archived)

well, you've got a few options

(piss and shit, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:34, archived)

I'm not allowed to kill it, and the thing that's supposed to make a noise to piss it off is fucking useless.

Actually, saying that, I don't really want to kill it, I just want it to stop shitting in the insulation.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:46, archived)

humane trap then

(piss and shit, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:19, archived)

Can you not read? It’s a rat not a humane.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:35, archived)

that was me m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:37, archived)

fix dat rat

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 18:07, archived)

Give it a colostomy

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 19:51, archived)

Triggered

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 20:42, archived)

I liked the way you worked it, no diggety
You had to bag it up

No offence love
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 21:50, archived)

❤️

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 22:11, archived)

I once had a shit while walking around B&Q
Which I consider a win
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 22:53, archived)

>I'm not allowed to kill it
you are going to have sooo many rats
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 23:15, archived)

Shit yourself inside out

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:34, archived)

How will that help?
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:45, archived)

it'll certainly make the rat issue less pressing

(piss and shit, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:20, archived)

I’m not sure that it will. I just have a hunch.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:42, archived)

I think you're onto something here m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 19:04, archived)

REMzzz

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:15, archived)

gaz mongychops, he knows about that sort of thing

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:35, archived)

Standard.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:48, archived)

Borrow a cat, lock it in your attic for 3 days.
Cheers.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:53, archived)

I've got 3 cats but they're all fat pussies.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 16:58, archived)

That's why you need to borrow one and starve it.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:30, archived)

call ICE

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:16, archived)

Pump it full of cum

( $$ ✅, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:19, archived)

yes!

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 19:37, archived)

Finally, a sensible solution

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 20:42, archived)

sadly not the cure-all I'd hoped for, it was no good at all on the wasps' nest i tried it on

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 21:47, archived)

This you?
share.google/mq5AtFZlMJR6lpuXe
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 23:07, archived)

in my attic, what amma gonna doo? up my bunghole, ARMAGEDDON
( broadsword, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:36, archived)

BERNARD MANNING

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 9 Dec 2025, 17:43, archived)

Tempt it down with some red, red wine.

( .Yeti., Tue 9 Dec 2025, 18:20, archived)

Tickle it's soft vulnerable underbelly
Then eat it
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 9 Dec 2025, 23:10, archived)