Pushing the best thread ever down the board
Greetings, spazmonaut's, hows it going

Bit down in the dumps this week. Usual cause, my kid
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 11:59, archived)

not that you asked

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 11:59, archived)

Has she taken all the money she inherited
and donated it to Nigel Farage for his security?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:38, archived)

Yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 15:04, archived)

Oh man, I sure am glad I'm not Nigel Farage right now

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:30, archived)

I'm trying to understand why you would say that and my conclusion is that you're Nigel Farage

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:41, archived)

It's just occurred to me that Nigel can be affectionately shortened to Nig

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:46, archived)

Ninjel Farage, WAKE UP SHEEPLE

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:51, archived)

alright

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:00, archived)

Free pissup and graffiti l8r

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:04, archived)

Yeah I saw

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:09, archived)

Shud b gud lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:20, archived)

alright spunk

(piss and shit, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:13, archived)

not too bad, piss

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:21, archived)

It’s going spasmodically, thanks.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:23, archived)

lol flid

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:34, archived)

Yeah I'm a FLID
Fantastically Lovely Incredible Dude
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 13:43, archived)

THIS YES THIS <3

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:07, archived)

I like this emotional support and encouragement you’re providing.
Thanks, vlad. Thlad.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 17:33, archived)

:) I really mean it, too
I am genuine, online
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 20:11, archived)

that's never a mistake, right?

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 20:11, archived)

No never.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 15 May 2026, 0:24, archived)

That's great news m8
Unfortunately you also have SKILL
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:08, archived)

squirrels, killing in large landrovers
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:10, archived)

spelling quality is lax, lacking
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:10, archived)

Sexy knees in long legs?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:17, archived)

Smelly Kraken in lavatory, leering

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:23, archived)

Sash Kules Iverything Lround Le

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:59, archived)

can confirm
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/99401/1778766969/flid.jpg
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:57, archived)

Lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 15:05, archived)

Ok this actually made me snort, not quite a LOL but definitely a SNE.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:02, archived)

harmless humor
in all seriousness, there needs to be proper warning, lactose is a common allergen
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:50, archived)

It really isn't, by any measure.
www.sps.nhs.uk/articles/assessing-the-clinical-impact-of-lactose-in-medicines/
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:59, archived)

I remember one woman who had prescriptions for several licensed medicines,
and specified that they had to be particular brands so that she could be sure they were lactose-free.

She also had prescriptions for various homeopathic pills, apparently blissfully unaware that they're made of fucking lactose.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 17:04, archived)

but the water remembers that they're harmless

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 19:55, archived)

lolololol

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 20:12, archived)

You're absolutely correct, I keep forgetting about the magic water.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 6:48, archived)

pfffffffff

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 17:04, archived)

'Spazmonaut' is easily the best song on Black Sabbath's Vol 4 album.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2026, 13:07, archived)

Think I was suffering a bit of heatstroke today, felt rough. Only just left my gaff. Just gone 7pm here

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2026, 13:19, archived)

I got burnt to shit in Da Nang
like a prize British twat
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 13:39, archived)

Oh mine was self inflicted, walked about 6 miles around Hanoi yesterday, drank a load of water but it was actually sunny yesterday.

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2026, 13:48, archived)

rehydration sachets REHYDRATION SACHETS
GO TO A CHEMIST
They'll electrify you
wait that's not quite right
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:03, archived)

All taste like shit tho

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:13, archived)

I did bring some with, I've travelled before young fella

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:14, archived)

ok good well done x
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:40, archived)

Yeah I prepared. On my own so if I get ill I need it on hand. I've run out of deet tonight tho. Need to get that

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:47, archived)

proud of you

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 17:07, archived)

Wes Fleeting

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 13:43, archived)

lol
I can't even be bothered to read up on it all so this specific post will do as my current affairs catch-up. tyvm
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:06, archived)

Welcs bro
Welcs
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:09, archived)

:-D

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:11, archived)

SHUT UP, WESLEY

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 15:01, archived)

darling Queefy, old bean, I'm sorry you're down in the dumps, we can't have this WE CAN'T HAVE THIS
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:05, archived)

It's not ideal old boy, that's for sure

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:06, archived)

*passes you a cigar*
*pours you a burra peg*
*leans back in wing chair*
*companionable silence*
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:09, archived)

why are you wearing mr. horrible's smoking jacket?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:23, archived)

The one made out of the skin of baby elks
and stitched with Epstein's used dental floss?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:39, archived)

no the other one

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:41, archived)

His "high days and holidays" one?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 14 May 2026, 15:15, archived)

yes uh-huh

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 15:24, archived)

ahahahahahaaaaaa I REALLY LIKE THIS

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:40, archived)

It would be going better if I didn't have to work

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Thu 14 May 2026, 15:44, archived)