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Yo, my fellow homeboys and homegirls, how rolls it this fine morn?

(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Wed 26 Aug 2026, 6:33, archived)
Gonna pop a cap in someone's ass later

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 6:41, archived)
Hats work best on heads, but you do you.

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 8:12, archived)
+o -a cap

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 8:19, archived)
Terrible bullying of Gonz, who doesn't even have an ass these days. :(

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 8:29, archived)
Terrile bullying of bumless

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 10:50, archived)
I know pharmacists sometimes demonstrate how to use medications but I wasn't aware this extended to suppositories

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 10:58, archived)
Maybe it's "cap" as in "diaphragm."
You know, so as to avoid unwanted bum-babies.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:10, archived)
That actually happened.
One day I was serving a prominent SNP politician at the till in Blairgowrie, the next day I had three eastern European migrant workers brandishing a strip of foreign medication at me (which happened a lot). The younger ones spoke a bit of English, and we established that the older one (who spoke no English) was "blocked". I gave them the options of senna tablets or glycerin suppositories depending on how quickly he wanted the effect. They thanked me, went away, and then the old guy came back himself and pointed at the suppositories. I knew that he hadn't grasped which end they went in, so I gestured to demonstrate. He immediately went "no, no, no!" and pointed at the tablets.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:11, archived)
How does the SNP person fit into this anecdote, exactly?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:24, archived)
It was just a jarring juxtaposition.
Also, he can shove his party up his arse.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:26, archived)
but he's blocked :(

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 12:29, archived)
He'

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:40, archived)
I laughed like a drain when it came out that Pete Murrell had nicked 400 grand and then treated his dearest Nicola to some 9ct gold jewellery.
Most Scottish crime imaginable, lol.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 12:45, archived)
dunno, he could have bought her a tenner packet of skag

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:07, archived)
That would work, too.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:41, archived)
"If I'm putting them up there, I'll take the smaller ones"

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 22:06, archived)
Yo. I’m up earlier than I’d like to be.
But that’s true basically anytime before 10am.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 7:42, archived)
morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 8:02, archived)
Hello
I was hoping for more rain than this.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 8:12, archived)
Sorry, current forecast for /talk is dry (apart from all the spazzdribble)

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:03, archived)
I really fancy a big glass of Canada Dry right now
with whisky in it.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 14:50, archived)
good mizzle my nizzle

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 8:20, archived)
Like a polished turd

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 10:59, archived)
<s>e</s> o

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 10:59, archived)
Well my wife got a puncture this morning, so after replacing all the tyres on my Tesla last week (which is now in the service centre for the next two months waiting for a new battery) that's the best part of a grand on fucking tyres

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:01, archived)
Yet another reason to despise Elon Musk

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:08, archived)
You should probably have stopped before the police deployed the stinger

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:13, archived)
-the -er

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:38, archived)

de em
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:47, archived)
^inflatable wife lols

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 12:52, archived)
lol, I also made it sound like I fuck tyres didn't I?
I mean how big would my penus and helmit have to be right?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:04, archived)
we're talking girth no greater than 16mm here
www.blockleytyre.com/technical/valve-stem-diameters-and-uses
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:09, archived)
Interesting. I could then have reinflated it with jizz and driven to the tyre shop, saving an expensive call out.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:12, archived)
Sounds pretty unlikely.
I mean, who ever heard of a penis that thick?
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:31, archived)