well it's half seven and i'll already had two plops today. all the fun is behind me.
arf.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 19:24, archived)

how many plops do you estimate are behind you?
how far into your ploplife are you, do you think?
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 19:32, archived)

as a <s>british</s> German* person, these units for 'the best cookie recipe ever' make no sense
ingredients

½ cup plus 2 tablespoons/140 grams unsalted butter (1 1/4 sticks), softened
Scant 3/4 cup/140 grams dark brown sugar
⅔ cup/110 grams superfine sugar
1 large egg
1 ¾ cups plus 2 tablespoons/250 grams all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
¾ teaspoon baking soda
¾ teaspoon Maldon sea salt (or kosher salt)
6 ounces/170 grams dark (bittersweet) chocolate, chopped into large chunks


if you say austrian i'm gunna shin kick you into a ditch
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 19:36, archived)

That recipe needs to die in a fire.

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 19:38, archived)

that recipe you
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 19:49, archived)

I'd burn for ages.
First-century AD Christians would be well proud.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 19:51, archived)

he meant me and it's terrible online trolling i'm writing an article for the bbc
about how b3ta made me a trans cabbage too afraid to go online
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 20:29, archived)

Cabbages?
What?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 20:42, archived)

dunno just letting my fingers do the talking
cabbAGES
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 20:44, archived)

just use the grammes measurements

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 20:28, archived)

and normal salt

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 20:28, archived)

genuinely didn't notice they listed the items in grams

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 20:30, archived)

#glensvodka

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 20:34, archived)

there's an owl on my roof

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 20:41, archived)

There isn’t

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 21:05, archived)

i think i'm hungry but i don't think i am
also, there fucking is. cunt is always up there owling the night away
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 21:05, archived)

We hear an Eastern Screech Owl outside some nights, I thought it was someone fucking around the first few times I heard it.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 22:59, archived)

mine's a tawny owl

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 6:12, archived)

mine's a teat owl

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 7:06, archived)

most common owl lol

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 8:00, archived)

Und keine eier

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 22:09, archived)

large chunks

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 23:02, archived)

plops litres of Glen's Vodka
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 19:50, archived)

WANK

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 15:53, archived)

+SMELL

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 16:58, archived)

obvs

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 17:04, archived)

Not right now, thanks

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 17:21, archived)

Go on then, one more won’t hurt

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 17:39, archived)

cheers

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 17:40, archived)

BANK

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 18:14, archived)

this isn't The Weakest Link m8

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 18:17, archived)

BANK!

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 19:00, archived)

This isn't 'name London Underground stations in The City' m8

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 20:48, archived)

BANK!!!

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 20:55, archived)

hullo knobwank's, Queef Richard's here, off the internet
Another wazztastic day here in glamorous Londres. Having a good day?
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:27, archived)

I'm loving my desk bike thing, fucking smashing it - perfect for autumn/winter
Plus I can't get knocked off it by a lorry
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:28, archived)

That's what you think, on my way to chez queef with a 40 foot right now

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:37, archived)

IBYA

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:49, archived)

YDOB

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 13:48, archived)

Yeah it's going alright actually
Had a phone interview this morning that might get me a new job. I'll know in three days' time.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:35, archived)

best of luck m8

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:36, archived)

Cheers
I'm glad that elliptimawhatsit's working out for you.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:39, archived)

once I got rid of an annoying squeak and got the resistance setting right it's been brilliant
I'm doing a good couple of hours a day
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:52, archived)

alright

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:35, archived)

not so bad, not so bad

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:36, archived)

london is made of poo

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:44, archived)

no it never, shu'-uuup

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:52, archived)

Shitty of london

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 12:04, archived)

Copro light railway

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 12:08, archived)

Cackney

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 12:09, archived)

Pooston

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 12:14, archived)

Shitesbridge

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 12:14, archived)

Guanet

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 12:18, archived)

Crapham

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 12:28, archived)

Pants fill

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 12:29, archived)

shitston

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 12:57, archived)

Shite city

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 12:58, archived)

elephant and arsehole

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 13:26, archived)

Pressed Ham (and gravy)

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 13:49, archived)

Arse 'n' all

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 14:10, archived)

aye not bad
might be starting a new job tomorrow
it’ll be wank but it’ll be money
and I won’t feel any remorse if I get the chance to dump it for something better
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 12:33, archived)

That's the spirit

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 12:42, archived)

good stuff, money is rather useful

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 14:14, archived)

You want a scarf that swears? Well you're in fucking luck. Coz Hebro has got your back. And your neck.

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 13:05, archived)

It's not even swearing, just mildly rude
might have to tell trading standards about this terrible clickbait misadvertising, hopefully it'll get beter shut down
(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 14:09, archived)

and your sac, and your crack

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 14:15, archived)

morning

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 7:08, archived)

morning

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 7:51, archived)

woo, halloween icons

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 7:51, archived)

morning

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 7:56, archived)

morning

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 7:54, archived)

morning

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 7:57, archived)

I didnt even know we had a mod

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 27 Oct 2020, 7:57, archived)

WELL YOU DO NOW, OK??????

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 7:57, archived)

Not one good enough to free mongy

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 8:05, archived)

maybe we should start a gaz petition

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 8:07, archived)

has anyone watched that Illmatic documentary on Netflix?

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 8:04, archived)

not yet no

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 8:54, archived)

RACISM
sorry, I mean "morning"
(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 8:04, archived)

APARTHEID EUGENICS AND ETHNIC CLEANSING NOW!!!

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 8:07, archived)

er, sorry, that was autocomplete

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 8:11, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 8:08, archived)

morning

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 8:10, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 9:02, archived)

Cheers

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 10:19, archived)

Morning

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 10:05, archived)

No end in sight and everything just gets worse and worse

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:26, archived)

b3ta, I mean

(dribble, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 11:26, archived)

afternoon
fucking hell what has this board come to
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 12:16, archived)

hiya

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 12:22, archived)

i'm blaming everything on you
how do you feel about it? hiya!
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 13:12, archived)

afternoon
I'm busy af today, soz
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 13:15, archived)

don't be sorry for being busy
i'm sorry you're still alive
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 13:16, archived)

Just had a really busy morning sorry.
I've also just had one of those massive solid poops that feels like its going to tear your bumhole
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 26 Oct 2020, 13:30, archived)

Sorry I went away for a few days.
I have morphine and methadone and diazipam again so I’m back on track.
(Gonz Chill dude, 🫶🍁🫶, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 13:34, archived)

can i have some i like all of those things

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 13:35, archived)

Nah', i'm afraid i'm closely monitored on what I can get, - but if you have your insides removed they'll give you some for your troubles.

(Gonz Chill dude, 🫶🍁🫶, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 16:40, archived)

i'm completely empty on the inside give me some drugs

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 18:16, archived)

drugs cock
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 20:05, archived)

i'm not fussy

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 22:25, archived)

it continues to go from strength to strength

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 13:54, archived)

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 13:57, archived)

i'm sorry i don't speak child

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 14:02, archived)

Alright?

(Gonz Chill dude, 🫶🍁🫶, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 16:41, archived)

b3ta would be much better without a core of 5 or 6 toxic cunts who drag us all down to their level.
The toxic culture pervades the whole of b3ta but it is at its worst here. Clear efforts have been made by the site staff to limit the influence of these scummy cunts (e.g. ignore 2.0, banning mongy, hiding /talk from the nav menu) but the solution is obvious. Remove the toxic, racist, hateful people.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 14:16, archived)

And sockcooker

(dribble, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 14:55, archived)

You're probably right.
He's toxic, but at least he only attacks one person and polarizes everybody else against him.

Talk's toxic crusaders actually seem to have friends here, which makes them all the more dangerous.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 15:22, archived)

(Gonz Chill dude, 🫶🍁🫶, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 16:42, archived)

.
.
(Gonz Chill dude, 🫶🍁🫶, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 16:43, archived)

(Gonz Chill dude, 🫶🍁🫶, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 16:43, archived)

.
.
(Gonz Chill dude, 🫶🍁🫶, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 16:43, archived)

(Gonz Chill dude, 🫶🍁🫶, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 16:43, archived)

Sorry, was just social distancing myself, hope you don't mind, rules are rules.

(Gonz Chill dude, 🫶🍁🫶, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 16:44, archived)

lol

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 17:39, archived)

Thanks for your thoughtful contribution
Us and them, eh? What a refreshingly novel approach.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 17:56, archived)

Could you please quote me saying that? I don't understand where this wrong idea of yours comes from.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 15:19, archived)

That would be a "no" then.
I'll just have to conclude that you're a fantasist.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 13:40, archived)

It sounds like this place doesn't bring you any joy.
Have you considered not being here? Nothing personal, I don't mind you when you're not self-consciously trying to make everything about yourself, but - like with Hitler - I suspect this place isn't good for your mental health.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 19:55, archived)

don't bring me into his bracket

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 20:27, archived)

You are one of the toxic shit trolls.
Sorry to have to break that to you.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 15:18, archived)

this is why he got banned
oh wait no, that was because he posted some jokes in the post a joke qotw, which makes him worse than literally hitler
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 18:38, archived)

Eh IDK who the fuck he is TBPH
I just assume that if you're changing your name every week or two that you're one of the annoying cunts.

Spamming variations of the same thing over and over again on qotw though, that's just unforgivable.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 27 Oct 2020, 18:52, archived)

Sorry, I'm on holiday.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 19:52, archived)

morning

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 7:43, archived)

morning

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 7:46, archived)

morning

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 7:56, archived)

alrite you needy spastic

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 8:05, archived)

morning

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 8:49, archived)

morning

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 8:55, archived)

alright

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 9:01, archived)

hiya

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 9:03, archived)

Yes.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 26 Oct 2020, 8:05, archived)

hiya

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 8:49, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 8:12, archived)

cheers

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 8:50, archived)

m'ing

(dribble, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 8:51, archived)

alright dribble

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 8:54, archived)

morning

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 9:21, archived)

morning

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 9:27, archived)

Morning
Job interview today
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 11:05, archived)

Good luck to you

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 11:38, archived)

Still no Halloween icons

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 11:07, archived)

rip mano

(dribble, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 11:14, archived)

Damn you covid 19

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 11:15, archived)

Saw an explanation this morning for people wearing a mask on their chin
It's so they can light up the second they step outside the shop without having to spend all that time moving a face covering out of the way

Thank god, I knew there had to be logic behind it somehow
(dribble, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 11:51, archived)

morning hiya

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 11:27, archived)

alright

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 12:02, archived)

morning. early start today.
i.imgur.com/XbjzDL9.jpg
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 4:04, archived)

morning

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 7:24, archived)

Sure is, bloody rough over night

(Nicki Minaj, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 8:18, archived)

it's quite pleasant here this morn

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 8:36, archived)

no you shut up

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 14:25, archived)

Morning!

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 8:38, archived)

CANDLES

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 8:41, archived)

That was a surprise

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 8:47, archived)

alright planearm anything good on candles telly?

( broadsword w⚓, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 10:36, archived)

Alright broadsword

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 13:01, archived)

happy b3taday

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 14:14, archived)

thankyou

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 14:30, archived)

morning

( broadsword w⚓, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 10:36, archived)

Good morning, mindfulness and wellness levels are recharged, ready for the next challenge. Good vibes only, no hate.
create, inspire, inform, stay safe, stay alert, love

- Jonty.
(Garold Huzzah!, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 11:38, archived)

afternoon

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 15:21, archived)

bedtime
slow board today
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 21:20, archived)

The sunday thread

(dribble, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 22:27, archived)

alrite

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 17:54, archived)

mite have a beer. play some dungeon of the endless. bit addicted atm.

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 18:10, archived)

i remember when all of this was a moving mass of words and banter.

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 19:51, archived)

yeah? well you must be an old fuck then

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 19:51, archived)

my great aunt is 97
never fucked her tho
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 19:58, archived)

better hurry up
buy her some roses or summink
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:01, archived)

she fucking hates chocolates

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:03, archived)

i guess they're bad for her tooth.

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:04, archived)

is there a toof loof aboot thif moof

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:05, archived)

Alright Hitler
Just saw a mediocre film about Jordan sneakers at the cinema. It was mediocre.
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:05, archived)

i'm doing the thing you hate
but it's okay i'm hilarious
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:07, archived)

why would you watch a film about TRAINERS

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:09, archived)

omg you actually thought jordan were a brand of trainers

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:09, archived)

yh i no i'm completely retardationalised

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:09, archived)

it won't reply
it's pretending to have other things to do so it can act all superior
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:15, archived)

dungeons of the endless?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:15, archived)

dnt mind if i do

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:16, archived)

Just had a delicious pretend Vietnamese meal just to make you feel extra bad
I did appreciate you posting DJ Supreme the other day, he was fantastic in Hijack
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:45, archived)

is a vietnamese meal what you call giving a foreigner a blowjob?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:48, archived)

Yeah that's why it was just a pretend one

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 21:03, archived)

Best Vietnamese place in London is down Old Kent Road
Dodgy as fuck, but good food and 100% authentic. The Pho mile does a job, but is very 'packaged'. What's pretend Vietnamese?
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 21:57, archived)

viennese

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 23:49, archived)

viennettta

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 23:55, archived)

It’s a kind of artificial Asian
It’s a bit like imitation Indian.
It’s phony pho.
Similar to pretend Punjabi.
Mock Mysore.
Bogus Bombay.
Ersatz Eritrean.
Counterfeit Cambodi.
Jive-ass Javan.
Suspect Sumatran.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 3:15, archived)

Eritrea is in Africa, Java and Sumatra are in Oceania.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 14:16, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8282159
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 26 Oct 2020, 7:48, archived)

Bahn mi, veggie style, god-tier fast food

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 2:18, archived)

Nice one shitcunt's imgur.com/a/aOPnoYO
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:39, archived)

they're saving my seat

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 20:49, archived)

Four passengers on one seat, who cares about social distancing

(dribble, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 21:25, archived)

It looks like some form of ritual offering and I’m not prepared to make any kind of judgement until I have a better understanding of the cultural context

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 2:21, archived)

Mask etiquette East London style
imgur.com/a/ltFgomM

Bunch of fucking wankers
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 15:58, archived)

stab them

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 16:12, archived)

done

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 17:29, archived)

That’s the standard greeting in London

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 17:29, archived)

Most of london

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 16:39, archived)

selfish arseholes

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 17:29, archived)

Moist, of London.

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 17:53, archived)

Hidden health conditions, or anxiety, how dare you challenge me
imma set my twitter mob on tfl for not respecting my ibs
(dribble, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 16:54, archived)

I can't help but think these cunts would take the virus a bit more seriously if it had a 50% fatality rate

(dribble, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 17:01, archived)

it probably does for some people, like, immune compromised etc
but, you know, fuck 'em. wankers. natural selection or something.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 18:09, archived)

baying cyber mob, you mean

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 17:54, archived)

Fake flus

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 17:16, archived)

morning

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 8:18, archived)

Morning , bit fresh this morning, dead at the lake too, not a beep

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 8:25, archived)

I rather miss the great outdoors, East Ham park doesn't quite cut it

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 8:27, archived)

Hainult forest isn't too far away

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 8:37, archived)

Wanstead Flats is only up the road too
I've got no excuse really
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 8:54, archived)

Used to be lots of shrooms around there, not so sure about now.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 14:42, archived)

Ok now I'm really interested

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 15:01, archived)

I wouldn't go out now, the rain is persistent down here , fishing is a stupid hobby

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 15:49, archived)

latl??

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 25 Oct 2020, 2:38, archived)

sure much
(dribble, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 15:39, archived)

morning

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 8:35, archived)

morning

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 8:54, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 8:36, archived)

hullo

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 8:54, archived)

Morning Queefio

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 9:52, archived)

Greetings

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 10:24, archived)

hola

(dribble, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 11:12, archived)

dribble

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 11:28, archived)

€€

(dribble, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 12:18, archived)

707

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 12:23, archived)

BONZER

(dribble, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 12:30, archived)

alright

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 13:39, archived)

Sli-Mi

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 15:01, archived)

Moming

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 14:42, archived)

Hullo mofo

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 15:01, archived)

Can anyone recommend a nice gin?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 19:40, archived)

or vodka or beer. I'm not fussed really lol

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 19:43, archived)

Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 19:44, archived)

gin all tastes very similar to me.
gordon's is fine imo. best enjoyed with a twirly straw
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 20:16, archived)

It all tastes very similar to you, gin, is that what you’re saying?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 0:57, archived)

that is what i am saying, yes.

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 3:31, archived)

Ok thanks

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 14:43, archived)

i quite like hobgoblin as a beer

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 20:30, archived)

Hobgoblin is disgusting I reckon

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 21:00, archived)

it's nearly as bad as Doom Bar

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 21:01, archived)

lovely local pint that

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 21:03, archived)

The ipa is better than the ruby
slightly
(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 21:04, archived)

it is quite hoppy, but i like it

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 21:04, archived)

They call them daim bars in ikea

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 1:00, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8282037
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 19:44, archived)

y not Mr QR!

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 19:46, archived)

I'm on the plantation rum again because Friday

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 19:55, archived)

don’t start this shit again

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 19:57, archived)

I just buy whatever's cheap
because I hate myself and it all tastes the same anyway
(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 20:51, archived)

ask brb, he's the expert

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 21:00, archived)

Gin is ming

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 1:14, archived)

Worst. Anagram. Ever.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 2:08, archived)

Had a nice one the other day
Plum and vanilla
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 2:36, archived)

All gin tastes of gin, otherwise it couldn't be called gin. You can't really go wrong with gin.
A very nice way to have gin is with some tonic water.

An even nicer way (or perhaps just as an occasional novelty) is to make gin & tonic ice lollies.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 13:52, archived)

alright

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 13:10, archived)

y

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 13:52, archived)

y

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:03, archived)

λ

(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:14, archived)

hl3 confirmed

(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:31, archived)

alyx vance y/n

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:32, archived)

fictional human resistance member is okay, I think

(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:36, archived)

have you played that vr one

(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:37, archived)

no
I play through HL2 once a year or so, it's a masterpiece.
(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:46, archived)

Y, must give the orange box another run through, not touched for christ knows how long
not turned the 360 on in like 4 years, it probably won't even work now
(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:53, archived)

Orange Box was the first game I got on 360, FACT

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:54, archived)

I got some weird jrpg thing called Blue Dragon bundled with mine
all creepy big eyed manga kids and animals that can talk, medieval sci fi, godawful voice acting and stilted dialogue

and a levelling up system that needs several hundred hours thrown at it to make any decent progress
(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 15:33, archived)

Blue Dragon /talk
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 15:36, archived)

After several hundred hours I'm still not convinced there's been any kind of progress

(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 16:31, archived)

the stilted dialogue's a big success though

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 16:40, archived)

are we led it etc

(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 16:51, archived)

no u neva u got 'The Last Airbender' lol

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 15:41, archived)

lol bender

(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 16:29, archived)

lol
powerful benders

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhctL7Unb_4
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 16:34, archived)

Obvs, she's way hot.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 19:11, archived)

y

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:23, archived)

n

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:29, archived)

m

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:36, archived)

C

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 15:05, archived)

( . ) ( . )

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 16:01, archived)

( . Y . )

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 18:40, archived)

alright, obviously did a typo on my phone earlier, sorry it upset you.
Would you like me to edit or delete my post?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 16:55, archived)

hey, hey, let's all just calm down here!
I, in my role as peacemaker, propose a compromise.

How does this sound: you do absolutely nothing, and fucken prick arsehole wanker shithead banned poster Dozer deletes his account and then hangs himself in his garage?
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 17:08, archived)

Hang himself in his garage?
What a waste of perfectly good exhaust fumes.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 17:30, archived)

he could also choke to death on human faeces, tbh I'm not that fussed how it's done

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 17:36, archived)

these words are terribly hurtful

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 17:39, archived)

not as hurtful as when your last ragged, gasping attempts to breathe fail, and the reeking nuggets of oily, corn-studded stool finally close your airway for the last time.

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 17:43, archived)

jussayin

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 17:46, archived)

alright Mike Patton

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 17:51, archived)

So THAT'S how his voice ended up that way

(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 18:13, archived)

No real names pls

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 19:20, archived)

Lot of bad blood in this thread

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 19:29, archived)

there really isn't, m8

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 8:25, archived)

Not sure banned poster Dozer deserves quite this level of vitriol
He might be a bit of a wanker but then so is everyone on here
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 20:19, archived)

Honestly no genuine hostility on my part,
I've never minded him. It's all meaningless words on the internet, innit.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 20:56, archived)

So words are all basically the same, like gin?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 2:16, archived)

it's all just a bit of light-hearted badinage m8

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 8:25, archived)

hullo arsehole's, it's-a me, Queefio
How's it going for you today? My hash just turned up so I am a very happy boy.

I'm off to see this 2moz:

www.theguardian.com/film/2020/oct/21/one-man-and-his-shoes-review-air-jordans-michael-jordan-nike-documentary

Up to much on t3h w33k3nd?
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 11:23, archived)

I'd be interested to see that.
At one stage at my school, there was about a fight a month over a pair of Nike Airs.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 11:41, archived)

back in the 80s one of my mates went up to London to go to legendary hip hop shop 4 Star General
he got robbed of his sneakers in the street outside and had to come all the way back to Winchester in his socks

lol
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 11:53, archived)

Lol, unlucky

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:00, archived)

the relentless mockery he got afterwards was quite something to behold

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:04, archived)

TAH, you mean

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:07, archived)

no I don't, I mean my mate
fucking hell are you thick or what
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:10, archived)

y

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:16, archived)

Internet LIES
What, was he in just his socks getting to the shop in the first place
(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 13:37, archived)

no, he was in his sneakers m8
They weren't newly purchased
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 13:53, archived)

Thought you meant he'd just bought his footwear in the "hip hop" shop

(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:12, archived)

A music shop then, rather than "accessories"

(dribble, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:13, archived)

To be fair they probably made off with his haul as well

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 14:27, archived)

rearranging my mo wax records

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 11:42, archived)

this should arrive on monday lol
www.discogs.com/Blackalicious-Deception/release/96563
(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 11:43, archived)

'Producer - El P'

ahm oot
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 11:53, archived)

wanker

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 11:55, archived)

he fucking is

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:00, archived)

RTJ are pretty good m8

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:01, archived)

n
Killer Mike is an amusing fellow but we're going to have to agree to disagree about their records
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:05, archived)

ok

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:07, archived)

y

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:09, archived)

Oh come on, Grag Lake's Christmas song was quite good.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 13:47, archived)

Don't put them too close to the radiator, or they'll melt!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 11:49, archived)

haha a joke about 'wax'!!!!!
FP THIS RIGHT NOW
(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 11:51, archived)

This sort of comedy gold is too good for the FP, I'll probably get banned again.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 11:51, archived)

fingers crossed.

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:01, archived)

i enjoyed that recent netflix series about Jordan,
He was a cultural icon in my youth without me ever really knowing much about his career or really anything apart from the lol he's shit at baseball and then the space jam film. A lot of the drama around Basketball and the history was fascinating
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Oct 2020, 11:46, archived)

I've not got around to watching that
maybe after seeing this thing tomorrow it will be a good match
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 11:54, archived)

4/7 anal bleaching
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-54642168
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:17, archived)

4/7 kippery pissflaps

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 12:31, archived)

3/7 butt-lift

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2020, 2:21, archived)

watching the chase atm

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 17:12, archived)

watching the chase, ass to mouth????

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 17:13, archived)

<s> chevy

(dribble, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 17:21, archived)

www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1X3NFlL1rZHnb0AlGLl86daAqQcA&ie=UTF8&t=m&oe=UTF8&msa=0&ll=38.983965362519235%2C-77.0797775&z=14
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 20:11, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ballad_of_Chevy_Chase
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Oct 2020, 7:59, archived)

watching the chase hole in the wall?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 17:21, archived)

Oh vg

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 17:38, archived)

I still don't even know which film he's on about.
Is it the 1966 vehicle with Robert Redford and Marlon Brando that I haven't seen, or the 1994 outing with Charlie Sheen and Kristy Swanson that I haven't seen?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 17:48, archived)

quiz innit
The chase
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 18:25, archived)

Have you seen 'The Game' with Michael Douglas?
That one's a proper headfuck.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 18:43, archived)

not sure I have

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 19:17, archived)

Well, if you like mindfuck films, give it a try.
I'm even reasonably sure there are no Jews in it.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 19:20, archived)

good that really would be a headfuck

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 19:27, archived)

Really? Your nan's on it, you should have

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 21:14, archived)

+ a customer

(dribble, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 21:15, archived)

Now that makes no sense

(dribble, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 21:15, archived)

I like it

(dribble, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 20:03, archived)

 
(Runcorn shitty limits, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 19:12, archived)

morning
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 20:27, archived)

afternoon

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 13:56, archived)

morning

(Runcorn shitty limits, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 14:25, archived)

alright

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 14:30, archived)

y

(Runcorn shitty limits, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 14:32, archived)

alright
my day has improved a lot.
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 14:31, archived)

afternoon
very full of food right now
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 14:54, archived)

alrite fatso

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 16:28, archived)

Hi
Any luck finding a house yet?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:04, archived)

no, found a fantastic one within budget etc but an offer had been accepted just before I called to arrange a viewing

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:11, archived)

Always the way, ain't it?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:13, archived)

well, it was the way this time
There was even a pair of decks in the living room!
(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:14, archived)

Heh
I visited a house a couple of years back with its own cinema in the basement. I mean, they called it a cinema, but it looked more like a dungeon for hiding illegal immigrants.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:24, archived)

was it being sold by the Fritzl family?

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:27, archived)

I'd be terrified of having a hidden dungeon under the house.
Imagine your key snaps off in the lock when you're trying to get back out. What do you do then?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:30, archived)

die alone in the darkness

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:31, archived)

oh, well, since you put it like that, sign me up

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:35, archived)

/calendar is over there

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:36, archived)

you have a secret escape tunnel obviously

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:39, archived)

you've done this before
also happy birthday :)
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:50, archived)

thanks
EDIT: well, it fucking isn't now. i've been waiting all day for my sister to drop off my present, which was supposed to be 4 disturbed cd's. she asked me weeks ago what i wanted and even found them online, but what do i get? a fucking card with £20 in it. yeah, thanks for that, put a lot of fucking thought into it, didn't you?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 15:56, archived)

FFS
Why would she go to the trouble of finding them online and then not buying them?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 16:31, archived)

she's now denying all knowledge

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 16:37, archived)

one of the big clues that my marriage was dying
was when my wife put £40 in my birthday card in lieu of a present

we had a joint bank account
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 16:33, archived)

i hate crap like that

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 16:41, archived)

Treat yourself...literally

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 16:44, archived)

:(

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 17:42, archived)

Morning.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Oct 2020, 6:49, archived)

Morning, indeed.

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 8:07, archived)

i did think so

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Oct 2020, 8:09, archived)

alright mate
Shitty start to the day: I put the oven on to heat up to bake some bread, turns out my wife put the remains of last night's pie in there, rather than the fucking fridge where anyone else would have put it. Then I dropped the lid of our Le Creuset pot on the floor and it's got a chip in it, they're more than £200...then I went to put my dough in the oven and realise I didn't flour the banneton so it was all stuck to the liner.

Might go back to bed.
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 8:36, archived)

That is a very middle class set of disasters.
But it is so frustrating when a day starts like that.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Oct 2020, 8:55, archived)

shud prolly just kill yrself

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:00, archived)

It's almost more disappointing when you're denied even the simple things.
If you try for something really ambitious and it doesn't work out, fair enough, valiant effort.

If all you want's a bit of fresh bread in the morning, that doesn't sound like too much to ask.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:00, archived)

what's really fucking me off is that all of this was completely avoidable had I not been such a dozy cunt
Things that don't work out for reasons beyond my control I can cope with a lot easier
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:19, archived)

I might 'flour the banneton' in a bit

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:07, archived)

Powder Banneton?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:27, archived)

which reggae singer etc

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:33, archived)

Yeah, I was going to try to shoehorn it into that joke format,
but I could feel my will to live slipping away.

I should probably kill myself, etc.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 10:57, archived)

I believe it was the great Samuel Johnson who said, 'when a man is tired of Pato Banton gags, he is tired of life'

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 11:01, archived)

pato humdrum

(dribble, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 11:40, archived)

burning weary

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 11:54, archived)

bob blandy

(dribble, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 12:09, archived)

don't forget to flour your bannetons

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 12:44, archived)

Don't forget to banne their flourpuns

(dribble, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 13:13, archived)

What do you call a parade exclusively for LGBTQ bakers and taking place during lockdown?
Homepride!!!
(dribble, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 13:18, archived)

your banne-d

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 13:19, archived)

i sold an entire set of le creuset for around £100
fucking hated them they're heavy as shit awful things made cooking into a fucking workout. the frying pan was especially awful must have weighed about 15kg
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 16:30, archived)

morning windy

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:07, archived)

Hello hello

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:48, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:15, archived)

happy birthday m8

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:40, archived)

Thanks

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:43, archived)

Is it yon birthday?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:48, archived)

Yes
46 today
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 11:58, archived)

same age as Brian Limond

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Oct 2020, 12:29, archived)

Good day to you, and everyone.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:30, archived)

I can recommend the giant Ferrero rocher

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Oct 2020, 9:49, archived)

What,
this one?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 10:45, archived)

revolting

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 11:08, archived)

you wouldn't want to have a nut allergy

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 11:19, archived)

You're fucking ruining us, monsieur ambassador!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 10:59, archived)

sorry i've not been here posting all night to brighten your mornings
i just realised it was a complete waste of time and energy
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 1:04, archived)

it's much appreciated

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 22 Oct 2020, 8:38, archived)

ARSEWANK
not really, hullo

how r u 2day lol, fucking bored af here
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:00, archived)

Same.
It's so quiet at the moment that I cleaned the whole house today. I'd forgotten how knackering it was.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:01, archived)

I'm thinking of getting an elliptical under-desk exercise thingo, as we're about to enter 6+ months of total rain
My thinking is that if I can pedal away on this prickmobile whilst working I can burn off some cals in the comfort of my own home, come rain or shine.

#old
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:10, archived)

lol come

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:11, archived)

Sounds good, it's almost the same as walking anyway.
I've got an under-desk bike but I can't use it without bashing my knees on the desk as I pedal. Not sure whether this is a design flaw or me being a numpty.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:17, archived)

the knee bashing issue is precisely why I was looking at elliptical things rather than a normal bike
something like this:

www.manomano.co.uk/p/homcom-mini-elliptical-bike-lcd-monitor-anti-slip-pedals-adjustable-resistance-23426748?model_id=23407641#/

Apparently you only need 6cm clearance above your knees, I've got double that
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:25, archived)

That looks alright.
Pricier than I was expecting, even at half price, but I guess it's worth it if it lasts.

Also lol the 'go fasta' flames.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:33, archived)

that's by far the cheapest of its kind - £200-250 for most of them
which is 'fuck that, no chance' money
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:45, archived)

FFS

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:48, archived)

You could get an actual bicycle for fewer than that

(dribble, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 17:11, archived)

It'd be an utter piece of shit, but would still technically be a bicycle

(dribble, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 17:12, archived)

Aww, I told my wife I was seriously considering buying it and she said she'd already bought it for me and it's coming tomorrow

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 17:29, archived)

You've got yourself a keeper there.

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 18:44, archived)

My boss had one of them
And a standing desk. Was surreal to see him bobbing up and down in the corner.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:45, archived)

They keep going up and down, so you do squats while you work?

(dribble, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 17:13, archived)

Homcom lol

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 18:35, archived)

queef putting the 'hom' into 'homcom'

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 18:36, archived)

Humorous movie about great apes

(dribble, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 18:42, archived)

humorous film about a gay couple

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 18:51, archived)

knackered
wfh tomoz so going 2 have some extra sleep 2nite lol
(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:10, archived)

my boss is talking about getting a separate line put in for me here, can't see me working from the office for some time

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:11, archived)

I get far more done in the office than at home.

(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:46, archived)

I get far more done at home
because I don't have to worry about constant unnecessary interruptions by prick co-workers
(dribble, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 17:16, archived)

^ this
Plus I save a fortune on commuting
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 17:29, archived)

^ also this
I've saved £1400 already this year
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 17:30, archived)

That’s about what I’ve saved, might spend it on prozzies

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 17:55, archived)

I'm finding the new lockdown more depressing than the first , it's cold and its wet and no cunts out

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:12, archived)

shit innit

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:14, archived)

Certainly is , I'm going fishing with my brother friday to Sunday, probably the last trip this year

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:18, archived)

that'll be a soggy one

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:23, archived)

Not that cold tho, I can deal with drizzle

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:39, archived)

RIP Spencer Davis

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:15, archived)

Bored out of my mind
Birthday tomorrow though, so nice meal out with the parents
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:21, archived)

well have a happy birthday for tomorrow if I don't 'see' you here

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:24, archived)

You probably will

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 16:41, archived)

Are they in your bubble?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 17:57, archived)

Currently yes

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 18:25, archived)

Turtle power

(dribble, Wed 21 Oct 2020, 18:31, archived)