11:12apologies for clashing threads btw
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Tue 3 Nov 2020, 11:12,
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it's that silly little moustache, I just can't take you seriously(
Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Tue 3 Nov 2020, 11:35,
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hullo how r u lolgud wknd? not an all time classic for me, plus a chum has just got kidney and lung cancer diagnosis, not great: I'll go and visit him later this OH NO I FUCKING WON'T
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Mon 2 Nov 2020, 12:49,
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Its was alright, had dinner with my kids yesterday, going to try and drink the pub dry between now and Wednesday (, Mon 2 Nov 2020, 13:12, archived)
I can't be fucked to leave the house tbhIt's my brother's 50th week after next, that's going to be good
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Mon 2 Nov 2020, 13:28,
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bit more important at 16 than at 50poor kid
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Mon 2 Nov 2020, 14:01,
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Shit weekend Presumably followed by a shit week
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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 2 Nov 2020, 13:34,
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Bit miserable. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Nov 2020, 14:28,
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I think this is the national mood(
Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Mon 2 Nov 2020, 14:34,
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It's shit innitWomen are having to give birth alone and you can't even visit your mates when they're poorly.
The weekend was quiet (shock horror). I called my dad for the first time in a while...age and covid and confinement are making him get all morbid.
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 2 Nov 2020, 14:45,
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yeah my mother, who is relentlessly and almost tiringly positive, had some real wobbles earlier in the yeartotally out of character and really reminded me - and her - that she's getting older. From being the churchy person who goes and visits the old ladies who can't get out, to being someone who herself had to stay at home, rather shook her up. Hey ho, here we go again
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Mon 2 Nov 2020, 15:40,
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Up next: a look at this year's suicide stats as winter sets in(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 2 Nov 2020, 17:28,
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laugh a minute here, sometimes two laughs(
Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Mon 2 Nov 2020, 17:32,
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My parents came to visit on Friday, dad bought a 1982 bottle of claret to celebrate my recent birthday, we got shitted and I had a big argument with my wife who then threw all my stuff down the stairs and I had to sleep on the sofa.Sorry to hear about your friend
(, Mon 2 Nov 2020, 22:54, archived)
Probably got the idea from Cough bleating on about the government "giving in to the scientists".(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 2 Nov 2020, 9:41,
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Can someone give me the link to /talk2(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 1 Nov 2020, 17:04,
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Weird, right?What with everyone here being so friendly and welcoming.
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brb pussy in bio, Sun 1 Nov 2020, 17:05,
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Just out of curiosity I did a search for "dither and delay" this morning.Sure enough, in the results was an article about bojo pissing about for ages and allowing thousands of Covid deaths, before finally taking decisive action and listening to Teh Science. It was written back in May.
(, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 19:08, archived)
Surely you're not suggesting that Bojo is some sort of incompetent Trump-lite cunt(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 19:12,
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I found out a month ago that our latest trainee was a member of the Young Conservatives.I can't remember the last time I was so disgusted with someone.
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 19:21,
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Whatever he does will be wrong, there's no winninghowever dragging this out for a year or two by not being tough enough at the outset is madness. What were they even thinking with eotho
(, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 19:21, archived)
Priti wouldn't stand for this nonsense, just saying.Police marksmen executing on site anyone who looks like they're standing in a group of 7.
(, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 19:24, archived)
I'm not sure you can be tough on a virus without being tough on the causes of virus , we have no way of being thought on a highly transmitted virus yet (, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 20:46, archived)
I think it's disgusting that Sir Kier Starmer has instituted this new politically-motivated lockdownpurely to punish St Jeremy the Infallible, the least racist person ever.
(, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 19:15, archived)
Ban guy fawkes night Ifor ever, punishing the catholic religion is a hate crime, and the crime the werec committing (, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 20:54, archived)
I would've thought you'd like a bit of lockdown, chance to catch up on some telly(
broadsword wโ, Sun 1 Nov 2020, 10:20,
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The man who would be King is incredible. He was also part of my favourite knock knock joke.
(, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 13:01, archived)
What is your favourite knock-knock joke?(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 13:07,
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes Sean Connery.
(, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 13:09, archived)
Knock knockWho's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Disgraced family GP and notorious serial killer Doctor Harold Shipman!
(, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 13:47, archived)
Have we done a "no Mr Bond, I expect you to die" joke yetbecause that would be well edgy and lol
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Cheers Cheers, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 13:14,
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god knows this place is all about being well edgy and lol(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 13:29,
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Which James Bond actor had all his hair cut off?Shorn Connery!!!
(, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 14:08, archived)
which james bond actor did they used to take down mines to see if there was gasit was Sean Canary
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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 16:21,
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I worked with a woman from Fountainbridge 20-odd years agowho remembered when he was Tom Connery, a lifeguard at the swimming pool. She said he just strutted about, showing off his body. RIP wife-beating tax exile.
(, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 17:51, archived)
Yeah the whole wife-beating thing put a dent in his image alright.(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 17:55,
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well. it's getting late. i guess i'm off to bed.this is what you've done to me. i hope you're happy.
(, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 20:28, archived)
Ohhhh hitler is a beaker, he's got a massive speakerla la la la, la la la la
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broadsword wโ, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 20:38,
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It's for your own good, Hitler.Es bleiben im Raum: Keitel, Jodl, Krebs und Burgdorf.
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 21:11,
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I remember as a kid wondering what circumcision wasAnd ended up cutting my foreskin off with a rusty razor blade and having have a tetanus shot.
I'd rather do that again- with added root canal treatment- than read any more of your posts.
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Lord Gnome, Sat 31 Oct 2020, 4:44,
archived)
ah man, that guy from The Goonies has died :(www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36963874
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:30,
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wellhe certainly is a pain in the arse!!!!
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 17:06,
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ah man? heyy you guyys, that guy from The Goonies has died, shudda been. apart from that your comment was hilarious.
(, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:36, archived)
i think it was better the way he did itdidn't give the joke away
(, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:37, archived)
I can't lie, I cracked a delicious chilsner a good half an hour ago(
Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:42,
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good on you pali'd clink drinks with you but we online hate each other
(, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:42, archived)
oh yeahFUCK OFF WANKER
that's more like it
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:45,
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if monsters like you ever get in power i dread to think what will happen(, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 17:48, archived)
good enough :)i genuinely thought it was a guy from the goonies until i dun a click, made me do a larf
(, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:38, archived)
I misread it completely and was sure everyone from The Goon Show had been dead for years.The pic and the title did make me do a lol though.
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:44,
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I read recently that Harry Secombe was a big fan of the old sniff(
Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:46,
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Was he now?I thought that was Peter Sellers.
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:48,
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that's pretty much common knowledge I thinkI don't see why both is implausible
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:52,
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No, indeed.It's always been a sleb thing. Here, you're famous now: do some coke.
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:55,
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They were both coked up once and pete had bought a new rolls but thought it had a squeak in the boot, harry got in the boot and they drove around for hours trying to find the noise, nutters (, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 17:01, archived)
alright cunt's. I'm having a dreadful day, u?My kid's mum is being a wanker again. Quelle sur-fucking-prise.
Up to much over the weekend? I have no idea what I'll be doing until I can deal with this shitcunt woman.
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 11:26,
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bit stressed today, work are being cunts weekend plans look to be revolving around preparing for a job interview
Oh and getting blind drunk tonight
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 11:37,
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ah shit, unlucky m8I thought you had a pretty cushy number with work
*stressed fives*
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 11:43,
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I'm taking my kids out for sunday lunch , that's about it really (, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 11:49, archived)
I'm afraid so - next WedsYou had a good innings, best to try to remember the good times eh
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:21,
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Today, so far, has been dead boring.You could always report her for spitting on you on the Tube so she spends the weekend in the cells.
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 11:54,
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She once spent 7hrs in Limehouse nick for strangling me in front of our then 2-year-oldThat was 'lol'
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 12:07,
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She sounds like a real catch(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 12:12,
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much like COVID-19 is a real catch(
Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 12:30,
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Her fat cunt mate got her legal advice - with no other witnesses they had to let her goThey were very apologetic about it, they knew bloody well she'd done it
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 12:30,
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no other witnesses, after all(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 13:17,
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nice one m8, I recommend you also try to squeeze out a couple of guffs whilst you're at it(
Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 12:44,
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Running, drinking and eating plus plops and guffs obvs
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Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 14:57,
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images.app.goo.gl/M8CENotoc2SdmGd56
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:19,
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images.app.goo.gl/h5djtfFHVvHc6JSb9
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Fri 30 Oct 2020, 16:21,
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i've bought a new speakerwould you like to know how fabulous it is?
(, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 16:44, archived)
Is it as fabulous as the two you claimed to have bought a couple of weeks ago? Is it a massive woofter?(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 16:46,
archived)
well, since you asked, it's a new addition to my MASSIVE home sound systema 12inch subwoofer that brings out all da flavor
(, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 16:47, archived)
i have a home theatre that would make your mother cry more than when she first saw you(, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 16:49, archived)
watching the fite halloween thomates round and all that boring offline stuff
every punch is going to feel like it's not only in the room, but it's actually in our faces
(, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 17:03, archived)
Ok I looked this up, is it Davis and Santa Cruz? Super featherweight? PPV?(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 19:02,
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You're very difficult to talk to(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 19:23,
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just being honestit's the lads that want to watch it i'm just hosting
(, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 19:25, archived)
It's alright he sawed his sofa into three for social distancing compliance(, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 22:11, archived)
My audio setup cost over 15KIt sounds great when I play my 32kbps mp3 collection through it
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Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 17:02,
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i only play things through my bespoke mp3 to reel to reel setupCheers
(, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 17:03, archived)
My charity shop audio setup cost under £15.A Pioneer letters-and-numbers thing with 2 speakers and a woofwoof (and really useful tape deck and a useless vertically mounted CD player that doesn't stay closed because of gravity), and a pair of Bose multimedia speakers that shit all over that Pioneer crap despite being 1/16th the size.
Thinking of upgrading to a Tomy My First Sound System if the price is right.
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brb pussy in bio, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 17:48,
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I’m afraid ‘Cheers’ is now trademarked and there’s a 50p royalty charge for each use (
Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 20:14,
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i'm all a-quiver(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 17:17,
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well, it is chilly(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 17:22,
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chance'd be a fine thing(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 17:30,
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if you had multiple shafts in you from the dudes on /talkit'd be like being fucked by a hawthorne bush
(, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 17:45, archived)
sounds needlessly painful(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 17:55,
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that's better(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 18:12,
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hardly a newsflash, is it?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 18:49,
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it must be great to be able to hear all that insipid early 80s electro-pop in mind-blowing clarity(
Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 17:24,
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my musical taste is eclectic, actually.i just give you what you deserve.
(, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 17:41, archived)
yo, n0mmy lunchtime foooood thread seeing as no-one else is posting owtpastrami, gherkin and mozzarella panino here, very nice it is too
PS lol Corbyn
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 13:26,
archived)
it's fucking hilarious, isn't it?Perhaps he just lacks a sense of English irony.
(, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 13:36, archived)
Fried bread, fried eggs, chicken and cherry tomsAnd fried arteries, probably.
Good old Jezza. Unflagging in his commitment to free Britain from austerity cuts, privatisation and the Jews.
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 14:43,
archived)
I've been sent an interesting e-mail titled -
Thither arabesque ways to hear if you are addicted to your earphone $5437.56 inflipencescyni.
It goes on to say -
Area you rear end clock time in completing your designation or chores because you area disbursement a lot of fourth dimension on your smartphone?Do you regain it hard to socialize, do you prefer texting or coming together opposite?
Your billfold has standard a new ballgame transferee, face and wholly carry-over histories hither, move back cash in hand right away.
(, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 15:55, archived)
thanks to Covid and various people using holiday up, I am all alone in the workshop.might wipe my willy on everyones stuff.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 29 Oct 2020, 7:56,
archived)
we both know the chances of that are very slim, unlike your mother, who is the size of a hippo
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 29 Oct 2020, 8:05,
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which is good, imagine the hassle of living life with a penis the size of a hippo. How would i get trousers to fit?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 29 Oct 2020, 8:16,
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you're asking the wrong guy here WindyLiterally Hitler *is* a penis the size of a hippo
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 8:22,
archived)
wow, no wonder he's so angry and unhinged, it must be difficult to integrate in to society when you are a literal collossal bellend
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 29 Oct 2020, 8:24,
archived)
don't need to integrate into society when you're at the top of it(, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 8:41, archived)
genuine lol(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 29 Oct 2020, 8:24,
archived)
hi hiya, Hitler, windy, broadsword, dribble and queef(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Oct 2020, 11:14,
archived)
HULLOIt is now afternoon.
I've just made a fucking hot chilli using one of the Carolina Reapers my brother gave me (along with some milder chipotle powder). If I'd have left the seeds in or used two, the whole thing would now be in the bin, those fuckers are no joke. Do you like things hot and spicy? I'm talking about rude sex stuff here obv.
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 12:02,
archived)
if you mean would I like you to fall into a volcano?Then, yes, absolutely.
(, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 12:04, archived)
no, I meant 'could you please hack away at your bellend with a microplane grater until nothing remains'(
Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 12:11,
archived)
well if that's what you meant You did a poor job of articulating it
(, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 12:54, archived)
Hey guys, it's ok to be a wanker now, Lily Allen says so.www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-54712504
(, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 13:31, archived)
Ruth Davies-Mourby is 21 and from London. She says it's great to have role models like Lily Allen speak out and advocate female pleasure. "We're taught in school that male arousal is normal and natural, but we're never taught about female arousal to theDid this girl go to a school in some sort of Victorian timewarp?
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Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 18:31,
archived)
Don't think we were taught about any kind of arousal when I went to school.How times have changed. I vaguely remember sex ed being a one-off hour long module covered inside a subject called social education. And it consisting of not much more than an embarrassed middle aged woman trying to convince 30 sniggering 12 year olds that "gay" shouldn't be used as an insult.
Probably nowadays you can choose to do A level gender fluidity studies, or something.
(, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 18:58, archived)
Nah, the cultural Marxists have made it compulsory. (
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 19:22,
archived)
I did use chillis in the bedroom onceUnintentionally
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 12:40,
archived)
ah, we used to call that 'taco bell'(
Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 12:48,
archived)
Scotch bonnet powder down the pisshole, m8.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 19:23,
archived)
I used a whole dried one of those in a curry a while ago Seriously hot. A little bit in scrambled eggs is good, too
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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 13:25,
archived)
heat aside they've got a lovely flavour going on(
Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 13:27,
archived)
They have indeed Not made a curry for a while, might do one tomorrow
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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 13:38,
archived)
I'm going to cook this Friday night I thinkwww.teaforturmeric.com/chicken-karahi/
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 14:09,
archived)
"Hi! I’m Izzah, and I look forward to brightening your day with good food and good vibes."WHY NOT JUST DECLARE SHARIA LAW
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mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 22:40,
archived)
i've got a pretty mega curry that i had to dial back a bit as I was struggling.this week is kicking my arse if i'm honest, although i did buy another motorcycle for some stupid reason
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 28 Oct 2020, 13:58,
archived)
I'm just wishing it away rnI have a really complicated and annoying task to do and I am simply ignoring it, which is frankly retarded as it won't just go away
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 14:22,
archived)
it's not like you can even burn down the offices as you acn work from home(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 28 Oct 2020, 14:25,
archived)
I did use armageddon chilli a few times in a chicken stir fry rice thing I make. It was lovely but once you chucked them in the pan they had a mustard gas like effect. The missus was a floor up and it wad making her cough as well. Ridiculous.
(, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 14:29, archived)
I only found out recently that Wayne Kramer from the MC5 was in Was Not WasThis is most likely more interesting, I should imagine, if you know who Wayne Kramer from the MC5 is, or give a shit about him.
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 17:53,
archived)
er, wikipedia sez Kramer only recorded with them as a guest musician(, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 18:39, archived)
we need to get prepared for a digital morningit's not realistic to think of having any kind of big family morning for the foreseeable
(, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 8:02, archived)
ps where can I find TR Love & Ariel Caban Feat. Ultramagnetic MC’s – Funk RadioDiscogs has drawn a blank lol
(, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 9:12, archived)
no ideais it definitely a vinyl release?
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 9:16,
archived)
every heard this cut chemist mix?ambrosiaforheads.com/2018/11/cut-chemist-honeydrippers-impeach-sample-mix-audio/
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Queef Richard's U r a ๐๐, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 9:15,
archived)
no, will listen this eveningI see it features yr favourite shoe-designing rapper, J Cole
(, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 9:19, archived)
Nobody signs on anymore Get with the times
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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 10:57,
archived)
These days, if you don't own the technology needed to have your fortnightly DWP interview over the internet, you get arrested and thrown in jail(, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 10:57, archived)
The wrong equipment gets you thrown into horny jail (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 28 Oct 2020, 11:13,
archived)
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