help me pick a porn name.
years ago i did some temp work filming porn and the guys i worked for emailed me asking if i wanted to shoot some more for them. needing cash and knowing it's hilarious, i said yes. i will get a credit on the tape (as all staff now have to be credited for age verification if it's legal), but i need a porn name to work with. please to assign me something crude yet refined.
in other sex news: he's in the mood.
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 7:30,
archived)
years ago i did some temp work filming porn and the guys i worked for emailed me asking if i wanted to shoot some more for them. needing cash and knowing it's hilarious, i said yes. i will get a credit on the tape (as all staff now have to be credited for age verification if it's legal), but i need a porn name to work with. please to assign me something crude yet refined.
in other sex news: he's in the mood.
this might just work.
it would be better if i were onscreen, then it would make sense of the pitted texture of my genitals.
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 7:44,
archived)
I don't know if you're implying you're going to be having sex in this porn or not
Fistmybutt letmepeeinyourmouth
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 7:48,
archived)
good god, no.
filming as in operating the videocam. i don't think my vileness would sell many dvds.
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 7:51,
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Dick Harden
(or Biggus Dickus if going for the classical/pythonesque route)
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 7:51,
archived)
Name of first pet
and the name of the first street you lived in.
this is how it is done.
/fact
Regards,
Tom Hazelgrove.
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 7:53,
archived)
this is how it is done.
/fact
Regards,
Tom Hazelgrove.
nah, that's a dated formula.
and i don't want to be 'puppy taunton'.
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 7:54,
archived)
"Ze camera man" then.
fucked if I know,
All I have for inspiration right now is the lingering taste of ham, cheese and sundried tomatoe jaffles and a bottle of HP sauce sitting beside me.
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 7:59,
archived)
All I have for inspiration right now is the lingering taste of ham, cheese and sundried tomatoe jaffles and a bottle of HP sauce sitting beside me.
...which would make mine:
Dippy Jockey.
Which is ace.
I prefer the "First pet, Mother's Maiden Name" method, though:
Dippy Van Cook.
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 8:41,
archived)
Which is ace.
I prefer the "First pet, Mother's Maiden Name" method, though:
Dippy Van Cook.
In the first permutation
mine would be
Gobolino Arsenal
The Second would be
Gobolino Quinlan
Awesome!
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 18:35,
archived)
Gobolino Arsenal
The Second would be
Gobolino Quinlan
Awesome!
given my birth surname i feel it's fair play to bend the rules slightly
which gives me: silver cox!
not many of them to the pound, i think you'll agree.
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Sat 1 Dec 2007, 3:40,
archived)
not many of them to the pound, i think you'll agree.
Orson Drills
Jen-Luc Gotthard
Lickmore Bird,men
Buggerme Bruskly
Or check your local sex offender registry.
SOMEWHERE at SOME POINT your credit will make it into a college thesis paper.
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 7:58,
archived)
Lickmore Bird,men
Buggerme Bruskly
Or check your local sex offender registry.
SOMEWHERE at SOME POINT your credit will make it into a college thesis paper.
I like my idea
because it was fun to think about him hanging around the porn set of the video you were watching. Your wank would be so filled with uncertainty and excitement. You could be getting ready to come and all of a sudden he pops out from behind the camera and kills the stars. And it would be the ultimate cock block for him, to distribute this movie and keep all the people he doesn't have time to kill from successfully completing a sex act as well.
This is the kind of porn storyline I could get into.
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 8:22,
archived)
This is the kind of porn storyline I could get into.
heh, i need to find an old style goalie mask.
damn, now i want to be in the stupid film.
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 8:25,
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i am tempted now.
thanks hanke and all who added input.
i'm off to bed now. 'night!
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 8:26,
archived)
i'm off to bed now. 'night!
Oh marvelous!
I always say good porn names should go one syllable - two syllable, and the first name for a man should be something unlikely but manly, like Brad or Jock, the second should have some hint of sexual or prowess suggestive pun about it, like Shagger or Harder, and it helps if the first and second name start with the same letter. Oh, and you can break the 'one syllable' rule if it ends in 'y' like Joey or Rocky.
Dirk Diggler (altho fictional) is still my fave male porn star name, but Jeff Stryker comes a close second.
For you, The Bear, hmmm, lets see...
Rocky Reamer, Chuck Balou (as in the bear), Brad Breaker, Hank Hursute, Grizzly Heman, Hugh J Bollocks, Chad Chunky, Growl Gonads, Zak Zemen, Bear Baiter, Girth Gargantuan...
I could go on.
Do let us know, (and bear in mind, we may refer to you as it from then on!) ;)
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 8:51,
archived)
Dirk Diggler (altho fictional) is still my fave male porn star name, but Jeff Stryker comes a close second.
For you, The Bear, hmmm, lets see...
Rocky Reamer, Chuck Balou (as in the bear), Brad Breaker, Hank Hursute, Grizzly Heman, Hugh J Bollocks, Chad Chunky, Growl Gonads, Zak Zemen, Bear Baiter, Girth Gargantuan...
I could go on.
Do let us know, (and bear in mind, we may refer to you as it from then on!) ;)
True story
A girl I used to work with was called Leanne Irene Mary Peacock (or something close to that). So her credit card reads
L.I.M Peacock
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 8:59,
archived)
L.I.M Peacock
Oh! Good one!
This one I like!
Mind, they have to be original, and if that hasn't been done yet...
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 10:15,
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Mind, they have to be original, and if that hasn't been done yet...
Actually I stole it from Seinfeld :/
It's George's chosen porn name
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 16:36,
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and they stole it from Steve Purcell
it's in an old Sam n Max comic. Sam refers to himself as Buck Naked, Texas Ranger.
( ,
Mon 3 Dec 2007, 13:26,
archived)
There was a Victorian porn names thread on /talk a while back.
The best was "Jismbard Kingdom Brunel".
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 16:30,
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Porn Names
There's a recipe for those...
Name of first Pet in childhood=first name
Street Name of your first childhood Home=Last name
So I would be Cindy Kildare
What's your porn name using this rather bland method?
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 16:51,
archived)
Name of first Pet in childhood=first name
Street Name of your first childhood Home=Last name
So I would be Cindy Kildare
What's your porn name using this rather bland method?
name
I thought the formula was name of first pet followed by mothers maiden name, mine is Jerry King,
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 17:02,
archived)
Chico Leese
which kinda works, though disturbingly it means me and my sister have the same porn name...
( ,
Sat 1 Dec 2007, 0:13,
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Formula
is name of first pet's name followed by mothers maiden name, mine is Jerry King, which does sound like a porn name to me
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 16:59,
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knob manuel
quentin smoothly
ray pugh
david hasselspoff
ivor biggun
eric tumpenetrator
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 16:59,
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quentin smoothly
ray pugh
david hasselspoff
ivor biggun
eric tumpenetrator
Hue G Rection
Using the tried and tested method of pets and maiden names, my own porn name is 'Major Wood'. Appropriate to the industry and very distinguished - even if I do say so myself.
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 17:02,
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Sod your name!
I want friends who casually ask me to film porn!
( ,
Fri 30 Nov 2007, 17:03,
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Stolen from a poor american sit com
Mustapha Bindun, but may I suggest Joe Stalin...
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 17:07,
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Harry Hunter?
aliteration - check
surname rhymes with rude word for ladybits - check
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 17:08,
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surname rhymes with rude word for ladybits - check
Erm
Chock Nurris
Andrew Quimbatter
HRH The Queen Mother's Corpse
The Artist Formerly Known as <deleted on legal advice>
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 17:40,
archived)
Andrew Quimbatter
HRH The Queen Mother's Corpse
The Artist Formerly Known as <deleted on legal advice>
Busta Hymen
but don't suppose porn actresses have intact hymens
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 18:08,
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Fabio Cockrockington
is a great name to put onto GNER tickets:
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 20:01,
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Wilma Fingerdeaux!
My fave!
I guess that's a laaadeeeee's name. I do favor Buck Naked, I can't remember who suggested it.
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 20:41,
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I guess that's a laaadeeeee's name. I do favor Buck Naked, I can't remember who suggested it.
Cole Coolbody?
Ricky Boombuns, Jezz Torrent (a la vice city), Hugo von Stafframmer.... nah i suck at these
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Fri 30 Nov 2007, 20:54,
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cunt-master kev
or,,
lick-master luke
tit-master terry
jizz-master john
sex-master steve
etc...
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Sat 1 Dec 2007, 5:17,
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lick-master luke
tit-master terry
jizz-master john
sex-master steve
etc...
:)
boob-master bob
twat-master tom
arse-master andy
clit-master clayton
dick-master dave
fuck-master frank
muff-master mike
prick-master pat
vag-master vince
wank-master wayne
(ok, so maybe that last one is not so good)
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Sat 1 Dec 2007, 5:25,
archived)
twat-master tom
arse-master andy
clit-master clayton
dick-master dave
fuck-master frank
muff-master mike
prick-master pat
vag-master vince
wank-master wayne
(ok, so maybe that last one is not so good)
I has to have a chicken.
Cleo Toris? Buck Naked? No subtlety!
Foghorn Leghorn! El Gallo! Peter DeGallo! You can't have mine!
( ,
Sat 1 Dec 2007, 10:38,
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Foghorn Leghorn! El Gallo! Peter DeGallo! You can't have mine!
Commander Tits,
King Explosion,
Lord Majestic,
Sebastian Faggot,
Pissy John Hamster,
Claw,
Celibate Rapist,
Sexy Shit Man,
Cock of Glee,
Poofish McDanger,
Ruggedo Von Manly
(actually, you can't have that last one, it's staying my intellectual property)
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Sat 1 Dec 2007, 13:25,
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Lord Majestic,
Sebastian Faggot,
Pissy John Hamster,
Claw,
Celibate Rapist,
Sexy Shit Man,
Cock of Glee,
Poofish McDanger,
Ruggedo Von Manly
(actually, you can't have that last one, it's staying my intellectual property)
porn name
Dirk Baldwin is such a horrible name... but not crude. How about Cum Hither?
Roger Well
Bang-bang Lipsmack
Slinky Fucknut
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Sun 2 Dec 2007, 2:11,
archived)
Roger Well
Bang-bang Lipsmack
Slinky Fucknut
Jonny Thrustwood
Or
Mohammed Al Mingeburgular just to be topical.
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Mon 3 Dec 2007, 9:35,
archived)
Mohammed Al Mingeburgular just to be topical.
Mr Splashy Pants
i find it amazing that in the same newsletter we're attempting to name both a whale and a porn videographer. two birds, one stone. go with Mr Splashy Pants. this way you can say you were named after a sperm whale.
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Mon 3 Dec 2007, 18:39,
archived)
P.B. Koos...
or Mos Zibbi
(koos is arabic for cunt and mos zibbi means suck my dick)
( ,
Mon 3 Dec 2007, 23:04,
archived)
(koos is arabic for cunt and mos zibbi means suck my dick)