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# The Call Girl Conundrum Haiku


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Picking the lesser of two evils is hard work.
(danielgoodm AntlerBoyStudios, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 17:43, archived)
# I'm sure there is a more simple set of choices for a Rugby Player
:D
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 17:45, archived)
# Neil Kinnock's lookin a bit worse for wear thesedays
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 17:52, archived)
# Gerald Kaufman shurely?
(twattybanjo, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:04, archived)
# vladimir putin, i reckon
(benito vaselini no not that one, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:05, archived)
#
I believe he prefers to be called by his birth name, The Lord Kinnock
(danielgoodm AntlerBoyStudios, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:06, archived)
# dobby's gone up in the world
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:08, archived)
# Now I can't unsee
haha
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:16, archived)
# give him a sock
he might go away!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:23, archived)
# "Harry Potter is so kind to give Dobby his wank sock!"
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:29, archived)
# that's the real reason they kept him under the stairs
nobody could sleep because of the incessant fwapping
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:30, archived)
# EXPELLIARMUS!
*HNNNGH*
(twattybanjo, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:31, archived)
# ENGORGIO!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:33, archived)
# "Harry what are you doing in there?"
"Nothing just polishing my wand!"
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:32, archived)
# now we know why hedwig is that off-white colour
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:34, archived)
# That reminds me of Lee and Herring
"They're all snowy owls after I've done with them!"
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:35, archived)
# heheheh
barn owls look crunchy, like their wings have been sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon, then caramelised.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:36, archived)
# :D
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRWDJghlQxA
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:43, archived)
# until i get a new computer
i can't get youtube
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:52, archived)
# Are you sure it's not just your browser being a cunt?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:59, archived)
# maybe
but intil someone who knows what he's doing has a look at the problem, i'm going with broken computer.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:01, archived)
# What browser do you use?
Try downloading firefox, or switching to ie if you're using firefox or chrome or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:04, archived)
# i was using firefox
but then it just stopped working and said it wasn't the right one. apart from switching it on, i truly have no idea how to use a computer and even less confidence in my technical abilities. my mate will hopefully have a look at it this week, he knows what he's doing.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:07, archived)
# Putin?
also, another maths tj (this is kinda sub-GCSE maths): if 95% is 40 million, what's the other 5%?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:23, archived)
# don't make me do maths
it hurts
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:25, archived)
# it hurts me too
this is why I make other people do it
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:27, archived)
# i failed GCSE maths 3 times
then i gave up
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:30, archived)
# I'll put 3
I think it's 2.1
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:31, archived)
# as long as you reply, you get marks
but not if your reply is "how the fuck should i know?"
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:33, archived)
# find x!
www.cs.uleth.ca/~legge/find_x.gif
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:04, archived)
# i would totally do that
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:05, archived)
# The answer is fish
Or pie. Nearly always either of them.

Although in this case, yeah, about 2.1.

Want an explanation?
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:36, archived)
# yes please
is it some numbers divided by another number multiplied by one of the two other numbers equals a number?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:38, archived)
# Liberals?
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:31, archived)
# this is for a high-level presentation
I'll put 'dirty Liberals'
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:31, archived)
# well if X * 95%=40,
then X=40/95%
which is the same as 40/0.95, or about 42.1.
So the 5% is 2.1.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:37, archived)
# hurrah!
thank you

I am a div
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:38, archived)
# a long div or a short div?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:39, archived)
# a floated div
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:42, archived)
# you can explain it all you like
my brain just rejects it.
seriously, this stuff just makes me short-circuit.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:40, archived)
# It's a state of mind.
Try meditation.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:43, archived)
# I view it as a language
A really simple language that's more like lumping coloured bits of lego into different holes. Well, that's how I view algebra, anyway. Calculus is like adding a few tenses to the language, or perhaps those funny lego pieces that you've got to be careful with. Group theory is like that lego piece you always lost on the floor and then trod on with bare feet.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:45, archived)
# Group theory is like snowflakes!
I think it's badly taught. Not wanting to be overly critical of maths teachers because they've got a tough job. All of the concepts are really fairly simple, but there's this weird sense of prejudice that makes everyone convinced that they're not, and it's quite difficult to force your way through that.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:54, archived)
# I wish I had been taught group theory at school, it's quite nice really.
Took until this year for me to learn about it.

Then again, I saw a book in foyles the other day about representation theory, which looks like madness.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:03, archived)
# hmm
i was taught group theory at:

* a level (advanced maths, the gcse cut out as much maths from the maths a level as possible) -- understood it, no problems

* 1st year uni -- understood it, no problems

* 2nd year uni -- understood it, no problems

* didn't do it in 3rd year uni though it edges into other subjects, all of which i understood, no problems

* 4th year uni -- fucking rubbish lecturer who i hated and who disliked me, taught me the theory of lie groups and applications to particle physics and he can FUCK OFF AND DIE GRAAAARGHGODIFUCKINGHATEDTHATFUCKINGCUNT HEFUCKEDUPGROUPTHEORYFORME

i think you may have a point :D


edit: that was actually to mgt but it almost makes sense here :)
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 20:14, archived)
# i don't think that would work
i'm far too good at making myself ridiculously tense
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:52, archived)
# Well do a bit of tensor analysis first, then.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:54, archived)
# i don't think i'll bother
i'm fine with the basics and far from innumerate, that's enough for me :D
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:00, archived)
# but without tensor calculus you can't understand general relativity :(
and general relativity is the cleanest, most beautiful theory mankind has ever posited bar NONE.

i'd back up this statement but it would probably involve arguments that some would disagree with and everyone else would ignore. so i won't. BUT I'M RIGHT.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 20:19, archived)
# Or use the relaxation matrix
nmr.cit.nih.gov/xplor-nih/xplorMan/node491.html
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:00, archived)
# i wish i wasn't blonde :(
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:09, archived)
# A lobotomoy would fix that.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:58, archived)
# truly scary
my brain is the one part of me that works properly, i'm terrified of anything happening to it!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:08, archived)
# The lobotomy would fix that too.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:16, archived)
# you just want me to have a lobotomy
why, Mu, why?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:18, archived)
# I have an ice pick I want to christen.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:25, archived)
# find some ice
and pick it
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:34, archived)
# My body works great, but my brain is broken. A mad scientist could make one healthy person out of us.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:35, archived)
# i'm not mad
i just get these headaches...
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:47, archived)
# I sense you make puppets.
Don't ask me how I know, it's some sort of weird sixth sense I have.
(I helped save b3ta! Zumf Ham banjo, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:40, archived)
#
your senses are correct, fine sir!
(danielgoodm AntlerBoyStudios, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:06, archived)