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# Morning! Have a groan...
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:05, archived)
# I have a neighbour like that too
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:08, archived)
# I had a neighbour who married a motorcycle
but then dumped her for a car.

Apparently she torque'd too much.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:11, archived)
# O_O
Get out.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:13, archived)
# hahahaha
brb... making future flea.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:14, archived)
# I made myself a girlfriend out of plastic wrap.
I like her but she's a bit clingy :)
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:34, archived)
# I made myself a girlfriend out of the dismembered limbs of corpses, sewn together with twine.
Trufax.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:04, archived)
# but how does she smell?
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:06, archived)
# like old sperm and Vaseline
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:09, archived)
# Oh you've met her, then.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:09, archived)
# we bumped into each other in tesco
and she is a looker, congratulations
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:11, archived)
# Well, she was a few weeks ago.
She's devloping a distinctly greenish hue these days.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:27, archived)
# you are William Shatner
aicmfp
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:30, archived)
# Alaska.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:09, archived)
# You deserve this
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:10, archived)
# Bwahaha
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:14, archived)
# My day is now complete :D
And it's barely begun!
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 10:17, archived)
# and this is what one looks like :)
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:11, archived)
# tim vine?
"So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved.
And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again.
He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree.
And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?'
And I said 'I careered off the road.'
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:13, archived)
# *office groans*
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:14, archived)
# I used to use a piece of material off the bottom
of my trousers to keep my place when reading. There's a turn up for the books.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:16, archived)
# and I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:18, archived)
# I was watching TV last night and a load of books fell on my head.
I've only got my shelf to blame :)
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:36, archived)
# haha :/
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:38, archived)
# hahahaha
not heard that one
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:40, archived)
# I went to the video shop
and said "Can I have Batman Forever", He said "no, you've got to bring it back tomorrow"
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:49, archived)
# haha
not "Well, you probably don't want it for that long, cos it's bollocks"
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:07, archived)
# very much this
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:16, archived)
# "One of the greatest films ever made", Jonathan Ross, News of the World
Hahahahaha!
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:26, archived)
# Another example of the very sound reason
the BBC paid him so much money. Real value, right there.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 10:19, archived)
# How does he smell?
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:23, archived)
# Pleasant.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:35, archived)
#
At the top of your nasal passages behind your nose, there is a patch of special neurons about the size of a postage stamp. These neurons are unique in that they are out in the open where they can come into contact with the air. They have hair-like projections called cilia that increase their surface area. An odor molecule binds to these cilia to trigger the neuron and cause you to perceive a smell.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:38, archived)
# ah but HE'S A FLEA
Didn't think about that did you, clever clogs??
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:39, archived)
# my clogs are clever
but not THAT clever :)
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:41, archived)
# how do they smell?
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:49, archived)
# .
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 10:02, archived)
# that's so meta
\m/
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 14:41, archived)
# Really doesn't deserve it's own thread
Since the Barry Manalow on Family guy I have been singing Mandy with the lyrics below


Osama you came you and you gave without taking
But they blew you away, Osama

(, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:52, archived)
# I like these.
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:32, archived)
# *logs on, sees this*
*groans*
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:37, archived)
# correct
response!
(, Tue 10 May 2011, 11:33, archived)