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...Zombie viking taking High Tea with
the Duke and Duchess of Rochester whilst at sea
during a rather 'balmy' Sunday afternoon :)
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:17,
archived)
the Duke and Duchess of Rochester whilst at sea
during a rather 'balmy' Sunday afternoon :)
![link to this post #](/images/board_posticon.gif)
I was going to suggest this bar the rochester and balmy sunday afternoon
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:23,
archived)
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with tits
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:18,
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biscuits with or without tits - not too sure about biscuits with tits...
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:18,
archived)
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You could could suck the jammy centre out through the nipple, then collapse the structure in your mouth like those sherbet-filled flying saucer things.
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:57,
archived)
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the other day, i returned to the computer shoppe. I work in the back, where (we'll call him) Jim had just gone back to release a bit of built-up air pressure.
my life is hell sometimes
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:25,
archived)
my life is hell sometimes
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She is dressed for the office perhaps, a blue-grey single-breasted jacket over a simple white cotton blouse and a slightly too long to be fashionable black pencil skirt. A smudged rectangle of pinkish-white dust on the left hip of her skirt suggests she is in fact a school-teacher. Her face, unadorned with make-up, would be considered by most men as pretty, though dark rings under her grey-green eyes are indicative of a lack of sleep. Unkempt strands in her bob of dark brown hair waft in the blast of refrigerated air from the large open cabinet in front of her.
She bites her lip as if in deep thought, staring intently at the rows of pots ranged before her on their refrigerated shelves. Above the susurration of a thousand mundane purchases, the drone of an announcement over the in-store speaker system requests a cleaner by till number seventeen. Suddenly, the woman drives her arm into the shelves of yoghurt, two fingers of her right hand precisely spearing the lid of a pot of Danone fruits of the forest. The woman withdraws her fingers from the pot and puts them in her mouth, sucking the lavender-coloured yoghurt with a look of deep, almost sensual pleasure. A single spot of pinkish-purple yoghurt drops onto her blouse.
After another moment, the woman repeatedly jabs her fingers into the shelf, spearing pot after pot. The aisle echoes to a regular wet popping sound as she stabs into the display, over and over, sucking the contents of each pot from her fingers with ecstatic reverence. Her right arm is soon slathered with a pastel mix of creamy splashes; as much again runs down her chin and onto her heaving chest. A small, nervous crowd of customers and junior staff members has formed, huddled at each end of the dairy aisle. The spectators watch the woman with a mixture of expressions, ranging from amusement to shock to horrified fascination.
Finally, the deputy manager is called and he cautiously approaches the woman from the end of the aisle closest to the cheeses. He notes distractedly that besides the store-brand mature farmhouse cheddar, someone has deposited a tin of minestrone soup. Two security guards flank the deputy manager, attempting to look nonchalant, though this fools no-one present. By now, the woman is covered in yoghurt across most of her chest and face, nearly all the yoghurt pots are ruined, their contents running into each other and spreading to the natural and set yoghurts on the shelf below. Two fans of glistening droplets spread across the floor to either side of the panting woman.
"Miss?" says the deputy manager. He is close enough now to smell the miasma of fruit flavours, making him slightly nauseous. He has never liked yoghurt.
The woman wipes her chin with her sleeve and the action causes a gout of runny mess to spatter over the deputy manager's shoes, as well as the turn-up of his right trouser leg, causing him to take an involuntary step back.
"No," she replies, slightly hoarse.
"I think I got them all".
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:21,
archived)
She bites her lip as if in deep thought, staring intently at the rows of pots ranged before her on their refrigerated shelves. Above the susurration of a thousand mundane purchases, the drone of an announcement over the in-store speaker system requests a cleaner by till number seventeen. Suddenly, the woman drives her arm into the shelves of yoghurt, two fingers of her right hand precisely spearing the lid of a pot of Danone fruits of the forest. The woman withdraws her fingers from the pot and puts them in her mouth, sucking the lavender-coloured yoghurt with a look of deep, almost sensual pleasure. A single spot of pinkish-purple yoghurt drops onto her blouse.
After another moment, the woman repeatedly jabs her fingers into the shelf, spearing pot after pot. The aisle echoes to a regular wet popping sound as she stabs into the display, over and over, sucking the contents of each pot from her fingers with ecstatic reverence. Her right arm is soon slathered with a pastel mix of creamy splashes; as much again runs down her chin and onto her heaving chest. A small, nervous crowd of customers and junior staff members has formed, huddled at each end of the dairy aisle. The spectators watch the woman with a mixture of expressions, ranging from amusement to shock to horrified fascination.
Finally, the deputy manager is called and he cautiously approaches the woman from the end of the aisle closest to the cheeses. He notes distractedly that besides the store-brand mature farmhouse cheddar, someone has deposited a tin of minestrone soup. Two security guards flank the deputy manager, attempting to look nonchalant, though this fools no-one present. By now, the woman is covered in yoghurt across most of her chest and face, nearly all the yoghurt pots are ruined, their contents running into each other and spreading to the natural and set yoghurts on the shelf below. Two fans of glistening droplets spread across the floor to either side of the panting woman.
"Miss?" says the deputy manager. He is close enough now to smell the miasma of fruit flavours, making him slightly nauseous. He has never liked yoghurt.
The woman wipes her chin with her sleeve and the action causes a gout of runny mess to spatter over the deputy manager's shoes, as well as the turn-up of his right trouser leg, causing him to take an involuntary step back.
"No," she replies, slightly hoarse.
"I think I got them all".
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can't be arsed typing much on my phone
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:38,
archived)
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what happens if they get rubbed?
do they get longer still?
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:26,
archived)
do they get longer still?
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with tits
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:22,
archived)
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A tyrannosaurs rex wearing night vision goggles that is masturbating. He is ejaculating a laser beam, which is going to destroy the 2nd tower of the world trade centre (the first is already smoking and destroyed). The sun should be in thebackground with a face and smiling. Please incorporate an Egyptian theme as well, some sort of pyramid maybe.
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:23,
archived)
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however the notes have been replaced by drawings of tits
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:24,
archived)
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of that thing you find yourself doing when you want to get away from a conversation. Sort of, leaning in that direction. Maybe even taking small steps.
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:26,
archived)
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however when they pull their ripcords, they realise that the parachutes are in fact, tits, which as we all know do not have the aerodynamic qualities of proper parachutes, and they plummet to their doom
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:28,
archived)
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They might fashion some sort of crash mat out of the tits and survive.
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:31,
archived)
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I think a Jedward shaped hole in the ground would be an excellent tourist attraction
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:35,
archived)
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The package has tits.
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:31,
archived)
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David Cameron inserting pieces of splintered matchwood
into the eye of Nick Cleggs tumescent member, all the while
pushing marbles up his own ringpiece.
For no reason.
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:36,
archived)
into the eye of Nick Cleggs tumescent member, all the while
pushing marbles up his own ringpiece.
For no reason.
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He has already stripped off his trademark overalls and checked shirt, and is dressed now in only his workboots, safety helmet and toolbelt, his tiny clay penis clearly visible and swinging to and fro as he works.
Pilchard the Cat keeps hanging around the site and winding her way around his legs. He finds this very arousing and begins to get a tiny clay erection.
He can't work in this state so he shoots his load into the cement mixer.
The cement's crap as a result and the apartment block he's making collapses five years later, killing all of the residents.
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:39,
archived)
Pilchard the Cat keeps hanging around the site and winding her way around his legs. He finds this very arousing and begins to get a tiny clay erection.
He can't work in this state so he shoots his load into the cement mixer.
The cement's crap as a result and the apartment block he's making collapses five years later, killing all of the residents.
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Opening his new act at the 1856 Fete des Cochons in Bordeaux
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:39,
archived)
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( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:30,
archived)
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I vaguely recall JJ getting fed up with it and linking to goatse or tub girl or something and getting a bollocking.
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:58,
archived)