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# Mary had a little lamb,
you could hear it's twat-bone crack,
When the farmer from next door,
parked his Volvo on it's back.
(I helped save b3ta! routine has perfected burgers, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:20, archived)
# Mary had a little lamb,
All snowy-white and fluffy.
She used to take it home at night,
So they could both watch Buffy.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:21, archived)
# Much nicer,
thank you.
(Amerella, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:22, archived)
# but after they had watched it,
the'd re-inact the scenes,
of vampires drinking blood and guts,
and chewing on their spleens
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:25, archived)
# Oh shush you,
you've ruined it now ;)
(Amerella, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:25, archived)
# Mary had a furry chin,
She shaved it every day.
but it just kept growing back in,
Just as well she was gay.
(the kind that like to dress up in full male regalia with furry chins etc.)
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:31, archived)
# Mary had a little lamb,
All cuddly and sweet,
With fluffy ears and fluffy tail,
and tippy-tappy feet.

...the backlash starts here. Rah.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:26, archived)
# hmmm
Mary had a little lamb
although she was uncomfortable with the possessive connotation of had in this summary statement
and preferred to think that the lamb was an 'equal but different' partner
in as much as the spiritual nourishment it provided to her
whilst she enhanced its quality of life, at least prior to its eventual denoument in which, of course, it would ironically provide
physical
nourishment
to
her
and her family.

(c) Late Review 2001.
(Phil not DS, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:34, archived)
# yay!
I like that one too. :)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:40, archived)
# Mary had a little pig
She couldn't stop it grunting
She took it round behind a wall
And kicked its fucking cunt in.

hello everyone.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:23, archived)
# i just blew snot out of nose
at that one.
(crazymum, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:26, archived)
# Mary had a little lamb
It's fleece was grey and matted.
The lamb goes out on friday nights,
and comes home pissed and twatted.
(wifeofpizza, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:28, archived)
# Mary had a little crab
she fed him nuts and guinness,
but when she said You've had enough'
The fucker wouldn't finish
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:30, archived)
# But Mary's lamb
was an Angel fan
and disliked Buffy's way.
When Mary heard, she shaked her head (sorry)
and said 'Man, that Lamb will pay!'
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:24, archived)
# But Mary and her little lamb
...were able to appreciate that different tastes make for a happy friendship.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:27, archived)
# Mary had the farmers son
whilst in the piggies pen.
comparing him to the little lamb,
He scored three out of ten.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:29, archived)
# good save
, pity it didnt ryhme
(icedragon, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:31, archived)
# But unperturbed,
...young Mary grabbed a blow-torch from her kit,
And forced it up the little fucker's arse while it was lit.
(I helped save b3ta! routine has perfected burgers, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:30, archived)
# Mary said she didn't mind
As flossie copped his whack
That lamb was nowt but trouble
and was always fucked on crack.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:24, archived)
# The farmer, though quite relieved
was shaken by the ordeal
So mary got her tits out
and offered him a feel.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:26, archived)
# So drive your volvo over a lamb
And make it smash to bits
You never know you might be lucky
And get to feel some tits
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:28, archived)
# but i laughed at the last bit
:(
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:34, archived)
# Well...
it would be a lie, because I can get the last bit to work now :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:38, archived)
# Please,
if there are any young, impressionable lurkers out there...
...don't try this at home.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:35, archived)
# Mary had an ocelot
A hedgehog and a tapir
She also had a ptarmigan
That liked to read the paper
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:28, archived)
# This is getting a bit Gay Dog
And I like it
(sasquatch, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:30, archived)
# Mary had a little lamb
she also had a crab
she stuck a pitchfork through them both
and made a nice kebab
(Mumm-ra, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:33, archived)
# I like that one!
Surreal is good.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:35, archived)
# and another
mary had a little lamb
it only cost one groat
shes only gone and killed it pouring acid down its throat!

(un-potato-swapped)
(icedragon, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:29, archived)
# Mary had a little lamb
which she liked to fuck
But then it started rotting
So she dumped it in a truck

(I helped save b3ta! Monkeyboy, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:36, archived)
# Mary had a three-toed sloth
A hamster and a lemur,
A big snail and a kangaroo,
That liked to drive a beamer.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:31, archived)
# Mary had an injured vole
She nursed it back to fitness
She washed her hair and bought some shoes
And moved her home to Widness
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:33, archived)
# Mary had a pleasant day
Concocting bits of verse
In which nothing very much
Of interest occurs
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:35, archived)
# Mary had a little lamb
with seven legs and ears
And inside where its brain should be
Lived a whelk and tears for fears
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:41, archived)
# They do you know
They really really do live there.

yay!
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:49, archived)
# less poetry,
more blood!!
(rawx, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:39, archived)