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# just joined , no friends, dont know what 2 do!!!
hi , i just joined and i dont know how 2 do stuff like well i really dont know what i can do on ere so if sum1 could help that would b gr8 thanks XxX
(evil_munchkin, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:08, archived)
# clicky and read.
www.b3ta.com/features/faq/
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:09, archived)
# oh, and
www.dictionary.com

I barely understood a word of that ;)
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:09, archived)
# *ahem*
I have just joined, but I have no friends and I don't know what to do!
Hi, I have just joined and I don't know how to create good pictures. I really don't know what sort of pictures are welcome on here so if someone could offer advice, that would be great.

Thanks, and kisses.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:12, archived)
# can you speak l3ta?
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:14, archived)
# dr phil is the l33t3st
she owns j000000!!!1111!11!!
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:23, archived)
# Or
JUST JOIEND NO FREINDS DONT KNOW WUT 2 DO!
HI!!11!!!111!!!1! OMG I JUST JOIEND AND I DONT KNOW HOW 2 DO STUF LIEK WEL I RILLY DONT KNOW WUT I CAN DO ON ERA SO IF SUM1 CUD H3LP TAHT WUD B GR8 THX XX
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:14, archived)
# Wow Doc!
You know I bet there's jobs for people with that kind of talent in youth centres up and down the land!
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:14, archived)
# translators?
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:15, archived)
# exactly.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:16, archived)
# Aren't you
lovely....or sarcastic...or both.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:14, archived)
# I don't think
they're mutually exclusive.

/goes for shower and brekkie.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:19, archived)
# I misread brekkie then.
I need a new mind, this one's broken.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:24, archived)
# See that link that says FAQ?
Read that first. It's not long and it avoids complicated words.

[edit]Also, I don't wish to be cruel, but punctuation is your friend.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:09, archived)
# That's not
the way to make friends here.

Be careful out there.
(I helped save b3ta! F5 F5 F5 Can't be arsed., Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:09, archived)
# Speak English
or cock off.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:10, archived)
# now now, if people wanna speak swahili
i'm all for it.
(I helped save b3ta! baby wet ones, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:11, archived)
# Habari!
Hujambo?
(I helped save b3ta! 0% Interest Expand Reply Retweet Favorite More, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:14, archived)
# PASANGA!
PASANGA!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:14, archived)
# Pole.
Siwezi kusema Kiswahili.
(I helped save b3ta! 0% Interest Expand Reply Retweet Favorite More, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:16, archived)
# YAY!
hujja bumjarri? click! click!
(I helped save b3ta! baby wet ones, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:15, archived)
# Welcome!
Pull up a kitten.
My friendly suggestion would not to use abbreviations such as gr8 or sum1 as it really grates on a lot of people's nerves.
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:10, archived)
# *prod*
Are you feeling alright?
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:11, archived)
# odd numbered post
;)
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:15, archived)
# *mechanical voice*
Yes, Baz, I am feeling fine. I have not been assimilated by the cyborgs of fluffiness that threaten the norms of sarcasm and cuntiness.

Or... Don't most newbs have one chance? any more wasted threads and I'll feed him to the rabid penguins.
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:17, archived)
# Hmm.
*backs away slowly*
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:18, archived)
# There is no escape, Baz
They'll have you baking scones for the newbs any day...
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:20, archived)
# it certainly gr8s on mine.
(Indole Ring, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:11, archived)
# Why
are you evil?
(I helped save b3ta! @man move along, nothing to see here on, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:14, archived)
# As stated above..
Read the faq. Oh and it pays to lurk for a while and look at what other people are doing before posting. Well that's what I did anyway.
That way you get to find out what makes people happy (e.g. giant animated robotic kittens) and unhappy (e.g. threadwasting and l33t speak)
:o)
(I helped save b3ta! Canker, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:14, archived)
# Yes, in terms of making pictures,
if all else fails open MS Paint and draw a fluffy animal!
(Amerella, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:16, archived)
# I like threadwasting and l33t-sp34k
it gives me an opportunity to test my powers of cuntishness.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:17, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! F5 F5 F5 Can't be arsed., Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:23, archived)
# l33t sp33k c@n r3@lly
m@k3 17 h@rd 4 ppl 2 kn0 wh@ ur r@mbl1ng 0n @b0u7 @nd m@k3s u l00k r3t@rd3d
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:17, archived)
# ha ha!
excellent, took me ages to read :)
(I helped save b3ta! 5olly, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:22, archived)
# If you want to see what we are all about
lurk for a bit, or click on the names under the messages to see what has front paged in the past.
and we generally speak English, as some of us are too old to be learning this new fangled l33t speak
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:21, archived)
# Voice of Reason™
In a Sea of Sarcasm
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:22, archived)
# you've got to give them one chance
before giving out the grief
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:30, archived)
# exactly
hence my attempt at friendliness
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:30, archived)
# aww - bless:)
your profile makes me feel very old:(
(I helped save b3ta! monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:24, archived)
# ripe for gooming
I'd say*


*please note: sarcasm
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:29, archived)
# bloody hell - 12
That makes him 1/100 the age of thebear
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:31, archived)
# \/\/311...
1ts pr3t33 34$'/ 4
(Mynd, Thu 7 Aug 2003, 10:42, archived)