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# stouffer's asleep
in my spare room


any bright ideas?
(I helped save b3ta! Reverend Dan, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:44, archived)
# permanent marker, peanuts and a camera.
(I helped save b3ta! PMGT -Bacon., Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:44, archived)
# Someone drew on my face once...
(I helped save b3ta! whelkboy is old now, you see, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:45, archived)
# Lora by any chance?
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:46, archived)
# No. It was Kate and we were both at work.
Damn text messages, she acts on impulse, you know.

Edit: but I might let Lora draw on me if ever I meet her.
(I helped save b3ta! whelkboy is old now, you see, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# hahahh
b3tan football team..

christ on a bike!
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:48, archived)
# im the midfield dynamo.
gonna put some looping crosses in, and crunch some popbitch twats.
(I helped save b3ta! PMGT -Bacon., Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:49, archived)
# no one told me that popbitch was invloved..
count me in!

I used to play rugby and gaelic footie so violence is *not* a problem.

In fact its welcomed. Mmmmmmm enemies blood..
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:50, archived)
# we're not going to play vs popbitch are we?
really?
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:50, archived)
# this b3ta football team
you want a mixed sex team
What about mixed sex chearleaders?
(I helped save b3ta! SarahRatt, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:50, archived)
# I wasn't aware
we had shemales here
(I helped save b3ta! Whillow, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 1:09, archived)
# shave his eyebrows
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:45, archived)
# Wank him
WANK HIM HARD
(I helped save b3ta! Whillow, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:45, archived)
# maybe not such a good plan
he may enjoy it*
*i wouldn't know
(I helped save b3ta! SarahRatt, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:48, archived)
# Which one of them?
(I helped save b3ta! Whillow, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:50, archived)
# both?
possibly
(I helped save b3ta! SarahRatt, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:53, archived)
# Stick a bar of chocolate in the back of his pants
and leave £4 on his pillow.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:45, archived)
# now THATS an idea.
(I helped save b3ta! PMGT -Bacon., Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# stouffer's four pound
has become a thing of legend.
pisshead.
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# antiquing?
and possibly a bag of crisps?

either that or give him £4
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:45, archived)
# fuck him...
...and eat it
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:45, archived)
# Whats the word?
Oh yes.. Got it now.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# hmmmm....
Get Berk round with his peircing kit...
(I helped save b3ta! Generationgav, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:46, archived)
# no
clean needles atm
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# boil some water?
(I helped save b3ta! Or is it?, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# nah
always use fresh sterile needles
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:48, archived)
# he's not giving birth
twunt =P
(I helped save b3ta! rawr isn't really here., Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:48, archived)
# HOT WATER AND TOWELS
IN THE ROOM AND DON'T COME IN!

/billy connolly
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:56, archived)
# so? give him aids.
its the ultimate prank.
(I helped save b3ta! PMGT -Bacon., Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# Remind me
to NEVER fall asleep around Tom.
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:50, archived)
# my friends learnt that the hard way.
and now theyre dead.
(I helped save b3ta! PMGT -Bacon., Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:53, archived)
# Oh my!
Why is it I feel like Professor Farnsworth?
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:53, archived)
# Get some skewers
from the 24hr Tesco on the way....I'm sure they'd do at least!
(I helped save b3ta! Generationgav, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# use...
...dirty ones on him
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:48, archived)
# i can use dirty ones for
fun stuff
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:49, archived)
# Find out if the hand in the bucket of water
has the legendary pant wetting ability.
(I helped save b3ta! Tart Monkey, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:46, archived)
# warm water.....
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# and then make a website chronicling the events
(I helped save b3ta! Or is it?, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:48, archived)
# And if it doesn't
Pour it on him so it looks like it does.
(I helped save b3ta! Whillow, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:51, archived)
# crisps down the pants
and muffins in his ear. You know you want to, or rather you know we want you to :)
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# Fill a balloon full of shaving cream...
then place the balloon just under his buttocks...

Crap, I really have nothing.. I'm not that cruel.
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# tape a huge picture of The Fear to the ceiling.
(I helped save b3ta! cwethan, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# write
"your face sold here" on him and take a picture.
(kerouac, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# bright? very bright
500 watt light in the face should do the trick

sorry, did you want to wake him* or not
*may be a her, i wouldn't know
(I helped save b3ta! SarahRatt, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:47, archived)
# don't ask berk
(I helped save b3ta! Bitchy Teresa is bitchy, duh., Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:48, archived)
# CUNT
in permanent marker behind each ear. he won't know for days.
(I helped save b3ta! dipdapdop, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:48, archived)
# blare the BADGER song!
that would just kick ass anytime.
(I helped save b3ta! rawr isn't really here., Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:50, archived)
# Shave half his hair off his head
And draw swirly patterns in the stubble

For extra marks, make sure that first person to see him in the morning is mom/gf while he still has no idea.
(I helped save b3ta! DonnChadh, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:51, archived)
# he already has no hair.
(I helped save b3ta! PMGT -Bacon., Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:55, archived)
# Ah well
that scuppers that plan then
(I helped save b3ta! DonnChadh, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 1:05, archived)
# turn him face down
pull down his pants and put a used* condom on the floor by him

*you can fake this bit
(I helped save b3ta! NomDePlume fo shizzle my nizzle old bean, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 0:59, archived)
# give him a big tounge-y kiss...
see how he reacts...

(I would - stouffer is lovely)
(great cthulhu, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 1:03, archived)
# Sellotape one of his hands to his head
and debilitate his other hand somehow so he can't get it off.


/he might need to be severely drunk to do this.
(nospoon The Olympigs would have been more entertaining., Thu 4 Sep 2003, 1:07, archived)