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# Has anyone seen Betty recently?
I'm worried about her. The milk bottles have been gathering on her doorstep and a particularly nice mustard pot went unclaimed at the tombola last week.

I had a similar episode with milk bottles on my doorstep recently but it was just that I didn't like milk for a while, nothing macabre....
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:01, archived)
# i think she got on a bus for Skegness
and hasn't returned...
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:02, archived)
# This calls for a MASSIVE repost
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:13, archived)
# comes
to something if you can celebrate winning a fight by licking your own genitals....
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:14, archived)
# that'll be
the sweet taste of victory
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:15, archived)
# Is there any
other way to celebrate such a commanding victory?
(monkeyinasuit, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:15, archived)
# easy
have someone else do the licking....
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:16, archived)
# do ostriches have tongues?
??
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:18, archived)
# not
only do they have tongues but they gobble the lot...the filthy whores...
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:20, archived)
# That sounds like a plan
as long as it's not Rufus. I have got past the phase of getting pets to lick my genitalia
(monkeyinasuit, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:19, archived)
# i ALWAYS celebrate
winning fights by licking my own genitals. I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't
(I helped save b3ta! atomboy, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:20, archived)
# I like that
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:15, archived)
# that's fucking great
I laughed like a drain. cheers mate
(T1, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:21, archived)
# aww thanks
might do another one soon.

You should see the state of the ostrich now.. he's somewhere in the garden i think.. hehe
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:26, archived)
# you
can never have enough cheap fluffy toys mangled to death by doggies....
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:28, archived)
# That's
quite possibly one of the strangest things I've seen posted here... Er, woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:22, archived)
# K.
odd kid
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:03, archived)
# Don't you remember?
www.b3ta.com/board/410785
www.b3ta.com/board/12116
Betty
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:04, archived)
# Oh, I remember Betty.
She had a surprisingly enthusiastic attitude to anal sex.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:05, archived)
# And a back fanny
like a windsock.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:07, archived)
# I just schlurped
my juice and it nearly came out my nose... That is one of the funniest phrases I have ever heard! ha ha ha feckin ha!! :)
(funkylins, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:10, archived)
# Aye, thanks to Steven Fry.
The big old queen.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:12, archived)
# Oh.
That'd be back in the day when oi were only a wee ocassional lurker.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:06, archived)
# i
would
(bblgoose, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:07, archived)
# Yay, someone I remember
I haven't been round these parts for nigh on a year and a half so I thought i'd test the waters with a Betty reference to see if there were any old-skoolers around.
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:07, archived)
# Yeah, she still lives on in our hearts wherever she may be now.
I can't hang around though, check out the m3tatweening link in my profile, I'm off for the weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:12, archived)
# *feels like a total n00b*
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:13, archived)
# she's
off on holiday taken 2 weeks to lanzarotte with the cribbage club.
(I helped save b3ta! jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:04, archived)
# That reminds me
has Dawn been arround lately?
(I helped save b3ta! Mornington Crescent Come the Envolution ..., Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:04, archived)
# About 5.30am
this morning..
(I helped save b3ta! Darryn.R, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:05, archived)
# Ahhh,
far too early for me
(I helped save b3ta! Mornington Crescent Come the Envolution ..., Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:08, archived)
# As opposed to
5.30am this afternoon?

;o)
(I helped save b3ta! sunny_jimbob, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 11:17, archived)
# Ms Syndrome
was about yesterday a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:10, archived)
# shoes? on thursday?
in the space time continuum toaster? How odd. Matron, bring the springs, I need to find my buttock. Phweep. Now, if you'll turn to page 213 in the hymn book, we will throw goats at clock shoe jelly. Hello.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:05, archived)
# The nuttage is strong in this one.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:06, archived)
# and now, i will regale you with one of my favourite
classic jokes. And by classic, i mean oooooold.

Q. How do you tittilate and Ocelot?
A. Oscillate its tits a lot!

Ithangyew.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:07, archived)
# Woo!

that joke is a good as lord if the rings.

and you can take that however you want.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:10, archived)
# no
because that joke is good, and lotr has gone down right past fucking awful into new realms of really bad as yet unexplored.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:12, archived)
# strange for one
of the highest grossing films of all time

that you seem to have an irrational hatred for. What films do you like? please don't tell me you liked Matrix Reloaded...
(I helped save b3ta! Darkedge, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:15, archived)
# Wasn't Titanic the highest grossing film of all time?
Popularity does not necessarily correlate with quality. Although I think LOTR is ace.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:21, archived)
# mind
piss
(I helped save b3ta! atomboy, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:23, archived)
# true
but it means ALOT of people liked it.. so really public concensus is that it is good not terrible.
although titanic was a bit shite bcoz of the love story crap, it's actually a good film. Glad to see you are a much nicer board person these days. Top notch.
(I helped save b3ta! Darkedge, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:24, archived)
# yeah but
the general public love celine dion, whitney poostain, that godawful bryan adams song, mull of kintyre, soldier soldier, heartbeat, and a million other mindblowingly crap things that i'd rather stab my eyes and ears to bits before seeing or hearing. lard of the rings is shit. the books are shit, the films are shit, and a load of dungeons and dragons players each watching it twenty times and semi-reatrded multiplex fodder watching it for the fx doesn't make it otherwise.
100% fact
(I helped save b3ta! atomboy, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:30, archived)
# Well, that's your opinion, and you're entitled to it.
But I think a lot of people would disagree.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:35, archived)
# true
but a lot of morons would disagree with your (and i must say on this point i'm 100% in agreement with you) hatred of twain, john, and busted (after all, twain and john each them have sold at least as many albums as people have gone to see either lord of the rings film

(i was a little heated earlier, wasn't i)
(I helped save b3ta! atomboy, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:38, archived)
# Hey, it's all good.
But if I hear those fucking songs on the radio any I'm going to throw it through the window. And I've just always hated Busted. They've been to the year 3000, apparently. Wish they stayed there and drowned.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:43, archived)
# it's the only
reason i'm glad to be in a quiet office and in my late twenties, i never have to hear that shite again.
my wife's 15 year-old cousin said i looked like one of the ones from busted. if i wasn't at a wedding i'd've flattened the cheeky little scroat
(I helped save b3ta! atomboy, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:47, archived)
# so high grossing
is a criterion for the quality of a film?
exhibit a: titanic.
i rest my case
(I helped save b3ta! atomboy, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:23, archived)
# Forget Titanic
What about Rocky IV, Rambo, etc?
(T1, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:41, archived)
# zigackly
you're ferpickly right
and don't forget 4 weddings anda funeral and notting hill, the 2 highest grossing british films of all time. i mean really.
(I helped save b3ta! atomboy, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:43, archived)
# Oh, fuck right off with your Lord of the Rings bashing.
It's a quality set of films, with some amazing visuals, and is as true to the book as it could be without spending five hours on each film. And they cut out that shit Tom Bombadil part. I hate it when it becomes fashionable to slag off decent films. Slag off Tomb Raider 2 instead.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:16, archived)
# "mention
The Lord of The Rings once more , and I'll more than likely kill you.........."
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:37, archived)
#
lord of the rings
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:40, archived)
# "...........more cock , more cock
Micheal Moorcock you fervently moan"

/HMHB

;)
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:42, archived)
# hee hee hee
there's not enough 'alf man 'alf biscuit around or quoted.
my favourite line is "you're going on after crispy ambulance"
(I helped save b3ta! atomboy, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:44, archived)
# Three men walk into a pub.
One was slightly idiotic, and the rest of the scene unfolded with a numbing inevitability.

/bailey
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:11, archived)
# there
can never be enough bill bailey jokes....
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:13, archived)
# An englishman, irishman and scotsman
walk into a pub, and say hello to the welshman who was already there. The welshman says hello back and takes no further part in the joke.

/bailey.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:14, archived)
# WOO
Bill Bailey is playing at the brighton comedy festival! YAY!!
(I helped save b3ta! Darkedge, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:15, archived)
# bah
he always plays so far away...and i wouldnt mind going to see him live...as i doubt he would be quite as funny dead...well unless you attached him to a car battery and got him to do the wiggly dance...
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:18, archived)
# My girlfriend talked to him about dolphins during his show in Edinburgh.
Three women walk into a pub, the first says 'Hurrah, we've colonised a male dominated joke format', second says 'Ooh, look at the arse on that, get the pints in', cos she was a nineties woman. Third said 'I'll have a Campari and soda, look at my big tits'. First says 'Of course, we'll never get over the fact this joke is being told by a man'.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:19, archived)
# ha ha ha ha hyayaaaaaya
I'll remember that one
(T1, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:36, archived)
# reminds me a bit of classic:
Q: How many surrealists ( etc ) change lightbulb?
A: The fish
(T1, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:37, archived)
# and a good morning
to you as well :)
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:07, archived)
# but you were there :)
www.b3ta.com/board/20466
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:07, archived)
# oh wait
its all coming back to me now!

*goes slightly faint and falls back into an arm chair, dramatically*
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:10, archived)
# What, Lily?
Four hundred and fifty million pounds? No!
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:10, archived)
# Yay!
i think she's alright, otherwise i'll lay my claim to her mustard pot collection.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:09, archived)
# takes me right back :)
www.b3ta.com/board/12046

Her site has gone too :( www.bettycollectsmustardpots.tk/
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:11, archived)
# i know
those damn .tk websites.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:14, archived)
# She ran away with Fred
who calls the bingo down the hall of a Wednesday night.

two fat ladies...
(I helped save b3ta! popt_art, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:15, archived)
# You and your mum
boom boom!

I'll be off then, see you all again in another year or so.
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:18, archived)
# i resemble that remark!
why you no come around here no more?
(I helped save b3ta! popt_art, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:19, archived)
# Wrong timezone
I'm in New Zealand at the moment, and I don't have photoshop at work. I lurk a bit, but it's always full of drunken students during the daytime here.
I have to go play with Playdoh now, wish me luck.
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:21, archived)
# good luck!
make sure and make a playdoh knob for us :)
(I helped save b3ta! popt_art, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:22, archived)
# Bingo you say?
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Fri 5 Sep 2003, 10:21, archived)