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# What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

What's your favourite joke?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 9:57, archived)
# What's
Orange and sounds like a parrot

A carrot..
(ChemistryDan, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:00, archived)
# why did the pervert cross the road?
his dick was in the chicken.
(Anthill Mob, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:00, archived)
# A bear walks into a pub and
says "can I have a .............................................................................. beer please"
and the barman says "Why the big pause?"
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:00, archived)
# Watch Iain Lee get told off
by a girl for telling that joke wrong. www.channel4.com/entertainment/comedy/showcards/D/dare_for_dosh.html There's a dare where 2 people had to watch a looped tape of him telling that joke for hours until 1 of them could stand it no longer.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:12, archived)
# 2 aerials met on a roof, fell in love and got married
The wedding was rubbish but the reception was fantastic..
(ChemistryDan, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:01, archived)
# What do you get if you cross the road?
A chicken.
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:04, archived)
# A man walks up to the bar and hears
a voice from nowhere say "Nice jacket mate, love the hair, looking good today". A bit shocked he asks the barman what's going on to which the barman points at the bowl on the bar saying "oh that'll be the nuts, they're complementary"
(ChemistryDan, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:05, archived)
# Same bloke
Goes into a different pub. This time he hears another voice going "that shirt is crap. Your wife's ugly, but I've still had her, and I think you're a twat." Shocked again, ne asks the barman who says, "oh don't worry about that. It's the cigarette machine. It's out of order."

(aneraseroflove excuse me...i have to go to space now, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:13, archived)
# hoho
like it..
(ChemistryDan, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:15, archived)
# how can you tell you are in bed with an elephant?
By the 'E' on his pyjamas
(I helped save b3ta! currymonster, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:09, archived)
# Horse goes into a pub and up to the bar.
Barman says: why the long face?
(james, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:10, archived)
# did you hear about the egg & spoon race?
the egg won.
(cold, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:10, archived)
# A man walks into a butchers and says
"I bet you 50 quid that you can't reach those 2 bits of meat up on that hook" to which the butcher replies "sorry mate, the stakes are too high"
(ChemistryDan, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:12, archived)
# Dracula was walking along the street
And suddenly he got hit by a sausage on a stick. "Who the hell through that?" He said.

A voice shouted out, "Me, Buffet The Vampite Slayer"

TAXXXXXXXXXXIIIIIII
(I helped save b3ta! Andi is member 695 so have some damn respect, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:12, archived)
# I wanted to be a doctor.
But I didn't have the patients.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:15, archived)
# What's brown & sounds like a bell?
Dungggg
(I helped save b3ta! E.S.Blofeld, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:16, archived)
# A chicken and an egg
lying in bed together. The egg is looking very contented, smoking lazily on a cigarette. The chicken, meanwhile lies facing away, looking slightly disgruntled.

After a prolongued pause, the chicken pipes up. "Well I guess that answers that question."
(aneraseroflove excuse me...i have to go to space now, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:16, archived)
# What did the deaf, dumb, blind boy get for xmas?
Cancer.
(I helped save b3ta! mrbrong, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:39, archived)
# .
Two parrots sitting on a perch, one says to the other, "Can you smell fish?"

Two goldfish in a tank, one says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:44, archived)
# ........................................................................oh yeah
hahahahahahahahaha.

That first one took a while to get.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:54, archived)
# Read that about 4 times
Until I realised that it was 2 jokes.
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 10:56, archived)
# Whats black an white and eats like a horse?
a ZZZZZZebra
(spiffchapstick, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 11:00, archived)
# did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field
(I helped save b3ta! currymonster, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 11:24, archived)
# How do you turn a duck into a Soul Singer?

Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
(I helped save b3ta! binster, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 11:42, archived)
# There were two sausages in a frying pan
one turns to the other and says "Blimey, it's hot in here" and the other one turns back and says "WOAH!! A TALKING SAUSAGE!"...ahem.
(SimonP, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 12:21, archived)
# DEFINE "Frenzy":
300 Blind lesbians locked in a tuna factory.
(Idyll23, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 12:45, archived)
# A Panda walks into
a bar, sits down at a table, and asks the waiter "do you serve bamboo here?" "The cook can make you some", said the waiter, and he brings the panda a big bowl of steamed bamboo, which the Panda eats with great relish. When the waiter brings the Panda the check, the Panda pulls out a revolver, shoots the waiter dead, and exits the restaurant. Bar patrons chase after the bear and when they catch the bear, he cries "I couldn't help it, I'm a Panda!" "what do you mean?", said his captors. Look up "Panda" in the dictionary, said the Panda. WHen they find the entry for "Panda" it says, "large black-and-white bear indigenous to Tibet and China. Eats bamboo shoots and leaves
(bluemerle, Tue 5 Feb 2002, 13:15, archived)