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# My Grandmother
My grandmother is loosing the plot slightly. The other day she bought an ark welder and began to weld both of our great danes together. Thanks to this we've now got hoards of tourists clambering at the door to get photo shots of our siamese great danes. Yesterday she went to Safeways and set alight to the cheese aisle and put a bat, set alight with white spirit up an old lady's skirt. We're becoming slightly worried, even more so after today when she enlisted the help of an electrician to remove a wart from our shire horse's penis! Then to top it all off she now thinks she's bilbo baggins and has chopped her feet off to make herself the right height AND cut the tail off our horse and has harnessed the hair to her feet, well stumps anyway.
(Halpil01, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:29, archived)
# be a good lad, and add it to the QOTW, instaed of the board


edit: and its not a "how much bullshit can you tell" competition
(I helped save b3ta! lo, the Greebo Warrior - Est. 2002, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:30, archived)
# coz I'm bored
here is a secret trick. Adding /ALL/ to a question URL lists everything...

b3ta.com/questions/old_people_talk_bollocks/all/
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:33, archived)
# *taps nose*
*winks*

Your secret it safe with us.

*puts on trilby and picks up briefcase, and in a flash of a cloak, is gone*
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:34, archived)
# Is that the uplaod codez?
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:38, archived)
# I would, though.
Sorrrrry.

Uh!
(MrGumby, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:30, archived)
# you've posted this in the wrong section
try here
(I helped save b3ta! djol, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:30, archived)
# Posted in the wrong place, matey
you'll be wanting to click the button to reply to the question, not post a new topic on the board.

Delete this one and try again. :)
(I helped save b3ta! kingofpork is the king of pork, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:30, archived)
# You're losing it too,
Try here.
www.b3ta.com/questions/old_people_talk_bollocks/
(Astatine, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:30, archived)
# I think you might be telling porkies
but I don't know why...
(I helped save b3ta! parttimedogfish, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:30, archived)
# That's nice dear
but you've posted this in the wrong place

Ignore all the abuse that's sure to be hurled at you and repost it HERE
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:31, archived)
# hahaha
old people and their war stories, hey?
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:32, archived)
# Hahhaa
You think rob'll read that out?
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:33, archived)
# A Cheese fire - serious stuff...


OK, OK a pearoast, but it fits the above, ish.

(I helped save b3ta! enthusiastic amateur delurked at:, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:34, archived)
# A repost of my earlier HUUUUGE file

I deleted the other one.....
(don't tell him Pike!!, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:34, archived)
# if you saved it as a jpg or gif
it would be a small file and readable
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:36, archived)
# your username still rocks....
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:38, archived)
# Yay!
I actaully "LOL'd" over that one!
(albatross! aka Rameses Niblick III Kerplunk kerplunk - whoops, where's my thribble?, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:41, archived)
# Well
there's a fucking thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 12 Mar 2004, 14:35, archived)