what your Lorraine Kelly fantasy?
shall I change it to Matthew Kelly?
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Fri 5 May 2006, 13:07,
archived)
A monkey in glasses
rowing half a melon down a river of irn bru.
( ,
Fri 5 May 2006, 13:06,
archived)
Colin is 73. He has terminal cancer.
The doctors have told him there is no hope, and that he will be lucky to stay alive for the next 24 hours. His loving wife sits beside his bed, anguish written across her face, stroking what is left of the white hair upon his head. Today is their 50th wedding anniversary. They were supposed to be on a two week cruise round the world. Instead she is sitting watching the last moments of her beloved husband slip away.
“I’m going to be dead soon, and seeing you sitting there in that sexy cardigan is giving me the raging horn” says Colin. “Be a love and wank me off.”
Needing no encouragement, she slips her hand under the sheets, and grasps hold of his weathered cock, standing proud and throbbing with desire. She starts slowly, staring deep into his eyes as she tenderly strokes his engorged member. Seeing the pleasure in his face she starts to speed up the rhythm of her strokes, when he grabs her hand.
“Climb on top and fuck me one last time” he says to his wife.
She removes her incontinence pants, climbs up onto his hospital bed and spits down on his cock, to ease the entrance into her dry old cunt. Easing herself down on his shaft she goes to give him a tender kiss. His eyes are closed. He is not breathing. She can feel the stiffness rapidly departing from his dead cock, still buried deep in her snatch. She tries to grind herself on his flaccid member but it’s no use. It won’t hit the spot. She breaks down in floods of tears. Her beloved husband has died, and he didn’t even fuck her properly first!
Suddenly she hears a noise behind her. Looking over her shoulder she sees a man, in his late forties and suffering from downs syndrome. He has been watching the whole time and now sits, his trousers around his ankles and shit smeared over his face, masturbating his faeces into the biggest cock she has ever seen.
This disgusts her because she hates the disableds.
( ,
Fri 5 May 2006, 13:08,
archived)
“I’m going to be dead soon, and seeing you sitting there in that sexy cardigan is giving me the raging horn” says Colin. “Be a love and wank me off.”
Needing no encouragement, she slips her hand under the sheets, and grasps hold of his weathered cock, standing proud and throbbing with desire. She starts slowly, staring deep into his eyes as she tenderly strokes his engorged member. Seeing the pleasure in his face she starts to speed up the rhythm of her strokes, when he grabs her hand.
“Climb on top and fuck me one last time” he says to his wife.
She removes her incontinence pants, climbs up onto his hospital bed and spits down on his cock, to ease the entrance into her dry old cunt. Easing herself down on his shaft she goes to give him a tender kiss. His eyes are closed. He is not breathing. She can feel the stiffness rapidly departing from his dead cock, still buried deep in her snatch. She tries to grind herself on his flaccid member but it’s no use. It won’t hit the spot. She breaks down in floods of tears. Her beloved husband has died, and he didn’t even fuck her properly first!
Suddenly she hears a noise behind her. Looking over her shoulder she sees a man, in his late forties and suffering from downs syndrome. He has been watching the whole time and now sits, his trousers around his ankles and shit smeared over his face, masturbating his faeces into the biggest cock she has ever seen.
This disgusts her because she hates the disableds.
Set this to music
Anthing by Extreme Noise Terror
or the Dooleys.
( ,
Fri 5 May 2006, 13:16,
archived)
or the Dooleys.
the sequential art characters (Pip, Art, Scarlett and Kat)
on a roller coaster!
the look on scarless face would be priceless!
Perhaps they could be upside down on a loop?
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Fri 5 May 2006, 13:10,
archived)
the look on scarless face would be priceless!
Perhaps they could be upside down on a loop?
My easter cactus, which has just come in to bloom for the first time ever since I started growning it from a cutting years ago (picture provided)
and it should be sitting in a doctor's waiting room with a pan stuck on its head
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Fri 5 May 2006, 13:15,
archived)
and it should be sitting in a doctor's waiting room with a pan stuck on its head
I like your forward planning
I notice a rock-like thing on its right on stand by so you can club it to death if it mutates into some kind of murderous cactus thing!
Good work!
( ,
Fri 5 May 2006, 13:17,
archived)
Good work!