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# 'Finally!' they cry, 'a way to save column inches'.


(I helped save b3ta! Mick Stubbles Is a real Munson, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:00, archived)
# That's a type of Suzuki isn't it?
Nice hummus!
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:01, archived)
# haha
perfect.

although what's that on her face?
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:02, archived)
# seams ok
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:02, archived)
# seams, ok?
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:04, archived)
# 's eams ok
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:06, archived)
# 'se am sok!*
*that's zulu that is
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:17, archived)
# Jizz?



'ning all
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:02, archived)
# That's disturbing in both respects
'ning
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:04, archived)
# whizzers!!
how the hell art thou?
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:04, archived)
# I'm alright
2 days left at this job then I'm done.
Just sorting through all the shit I'll never get done

Yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:08, archived)
# ok,
an eternity stuck in this place not doing things i really should be doing!
looking forward to going back to school?
;)
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:09, archived)
# Yes and no
Money is going to be tight next year which is kinda rubbish.
But at least I'll get to sleep in
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:15, archived)
# bloody students.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:19, archived)
# 'ning
it's been a while
*fires up the rufflematic 3000*
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:11, archived)
# 'ning!
minky monk!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:04, archived)
# 'ning enjy benjy
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:11, archived)
# 'ning
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:04, archived)
# 'ningles
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:11, archived)
# 'ning there!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:04, archived)
# *high fives*
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:11, archived)
# Minky!
Not long now?
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:07, archived)
# untill?
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:08, archived)
# he's getting married friday!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:10, archived)
# is he?
Has anyone bought the card? and who's passing it round?
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:13, archived)
# here!!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:17, archived)
# *giggles*
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:18, archived)
# *giggles*




oh wait
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:26, archived)
# haha!!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:27, archived)
# fnarrr fnarr
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:26, archived)
# showoff.


arf!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:27, archived)
# *crys a single tear*
it's....it's lovely
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:18, archived)
# *slaps*
cry more - we need more emotion to fuel THE MACHINE!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:35, archived)
# *crys another single tear*
i can't help it, i'm just so manly
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:36, archived)
# *squeezes nuts in the nut vice*
if we can't get emotion from you, perhaps your suffering will inspire those who love you

mmwwwuuuhhhaahahaahaha*cough*cough*haahhaahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:38, archived)
# *makes wise crack like james bond*
that showed you
*passes out*
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:39, archived)
# *throws you on the pile with the others*
damn - b3tans are too emotionally retarded, I'll never get enough emotion to start the machine... I'm going to have to go and buy a coffee instead.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:40, archived)
# Trelly!
i know!

*kacking it*

*pre marital SMOOSH*
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:12, archived)
# It'll be fine!
Just forget about everyone else on the day - you two are the only ones that matter. Enjoy every minute of it!

(And don't end up in hospital afterwards like I did)
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:16, archived)
# how did you end up in hospital?
i have a feeling you've already told me this
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:17, archived)
# I had tummy problems
But reflux presents as chest pain, which makes NHS direct call an ambulance for you. The paramedic asked me if I'd done anything stressful that day....
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:26, archived)
# have you told methat before?
i think you have.

and had you done anything stressful that day?

; )
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:27, archived)
# Let me think...
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:31, archived)
# *leaves trelly to think*
*goes on a round the world cruise*

*comes back*

well?
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:35, archived)
# details!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:18, archived)
# it's..
a single tear from an Express reader running the ink
(I helped save b3ta! Mick Stubbles Is a real Munson, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:05, archived)
# express readers don't have feelings
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:19, archived)
# I wonder if Rob's recieved any more emails from irrate b3tans who have no concept of TEH INTERNETS/b3tan humour?
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:04, archived)
#
Well when it's just 'Maddy, raped and dead, fuck the bitch, LOL!' I think they may have a point!

helps if it's funny or makes a point
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:07, archived)
# if you think that's what i'm saying
then you have missed the point.
(I helped save b3ta! Mick Stubbles Is a real Munson, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:09, archived)
# I don't think I'm the one
missing the point: www.b3ta.com/board/7555876
clicked it actually!
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:22, archived)
# touche...
let's all enjoy the point together then. (thanks for the click WiL)
(I helped save b3ta! Mick Stubbles Is a real Munson, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:27, archived)
# :)
NPs matey!
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:31, archived)
# actually, i found that quote quite amusing
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:22, archived)
# He will now
*goes to send email*
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:11, archived)
# Yup, there you go, a Maddy satire worth saying for once
You've been reading my mind or what I wrote on the board yest
www.b3ta.com/board/7555041
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:05, archived)
# top stuff
slightly hotter to taste than mine, but the sentiment is the same.
(I helped save b3ta! Mick Stubbles Is a real Munson, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:33, archived)
# Mmmmmmm
toap with 'sans...
Have they suggested copyrighting their daughters image yet? I wouldn't be at all surprised...
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:51, archived)
# no..
...they haven't had time. All those stretched limos to meet the pope and appearances with the stars are taking up a lot of hours...
(I helped save b3ta! Mick Stubbles Is a real Munson, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:57, archived)
# *Clicks*
That's great. God knows how they sell any papers.
(I helped save b3ta! Rincewind, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:09, archived)
# Thats top
I love it when papers make a shed load of money out something liek this, then have a go at folks like us for making jokes and 'tastelessly cashing in'...
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:15, archived)
# oh hai guys
(I helped save b3ta! mugatu, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:19, archived)
# Compo that
or stick some fucking shitty pink bird in it
'ning muggy!
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:26, archived)
# Please no pink bird
Yesterday the board made me sad
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 9:31, archived)
# Calls press conference to witness *click*
Calls press conference to ask press to leave me alone.
Explodes.
(I helped save b3ta! Beve The Spaniard broke off his horse's head, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:32, archived)
# Evil Genius :)
(Pimms'N'Lemonade thinks you are a twat, prove me wrong., Wed 29 Aug 2007, 13:00, archived)
# Super
One of the best things I've seen on b3ta.
(LokiMD, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 13:18, archived)
# well...
thats the wrongest thing i've ever seen on b3ta...
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 21:38, archived)
# my hat is off to you sir
that is of great B3ta-ness only fitting of a mockup of either simon weston raping a mongo or the internet release of the sextape of The pope shitting in mohammed's mouth while he is pissing on the queens tits
9/10
(Mrt1977, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 22:57, archived)
# journo twats
Good piss-take out of the blinkered spackers at the Daily Express! :O)

According to the Daily Express there's only two news stories going on in the whole world.

The facts are: Princess Diana is still Dead after 10 years and Madeleine is still "missing" after nearly 4 months!.

Isn't time the spackers at this "news"paper moved on and printed other news!

Even after saying all this - I honestly hope that Madeleine is found alive and well....
(Zuffle farts silently in lifts then leaves the warm aroma, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 9:26, archived)
# Diana still dead
yes Daily Express journalists, Princess Diana is still dead today, and will be tomorrow, and the day after ... ad infinitum.

To paraphrase the Priest at the Diana Memorial servicw, it's time to move on and accept she's not coming back.

There's only one person who's ever done that, and that was nearly 2000 years ago.
(Zuffle farts silently in lifts then leaves the warm aroma, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 14:55, archived)
# That 'shop is slightly disturbing...
But brilliant hummus :)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 13:35, archived)
# Life imitating art
Daily Express, 29/08/2007:



b3ta, 31/08/2007:

(I helped save b3ta! flake has nothing against your right leg, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 15:54, archived)