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# He's rich but lonely...
Evening all! If you're feeling charitable this guy is feeling pretty lonely and is looking for a wife! Look - I like to do things though, like eating out, drinking, talking, communicating. My favorite thing ever is being with my girlfriend which is a bit crap as I dont have one. My least favorite thing is being alone and surrounded by retards which is a bit unfortunate as thats exactly what I am. Only you can save me.

I hope he's not serious, but I suspect he might be. Can someone cheer him up?
www.whowantstomarryme.co.uk/about.php
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:39, archived)
# I'm not going to marry you.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:40, archived)
# We're net nerds and we can get laid.
This is wrist sprains gone bad!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:42, archived)
# He's only a poor little sparrow
I'm really not sure his lines would work. 'Hi, I'm really depressed, do you want to marry me?' Though I've never tried that tack myself.... apparently he believes google has blocked him as he gets no traffic.....
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:47, archived)
# It must be K3bab's new venture.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:48, archived)
# Ok I'll marry you
But you'll have to be the taker.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:48, archived)
# Was your girlfriend called fail?
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:41, archived)
# Can you explain the origin of this post
it confuses me greatly (p.s. i noticed the thread deletation)
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:52, archived)
# No. You're too young!
First rule of Lost Boys Club. Nobody talks about Lost Boys club.
Second rule of Lost Boys Club. Sub every second Wednesday.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:54, archived)
# the vampire lost boys?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 21:01, archived)
# :)
That's Grandpa, he says in line at the end of the film. 'One thing I could never stand about Santa Carla. All them damn vampires.':P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 21:12, archived)
# Congratulations. No, really, I am very impressed. It's very good news. I'm genuinely happy. Look, this is my happy face.
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:41, archived)
# could you be any happier?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:42, archived)
# *offers theoriginalsteve some chainsaws*
I'm guess there's potential :)
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:44, archived)
# flaming chainsaws?
they're the best kind
I WANT A HIP-HOP HORSE
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:47, archived)
# oh yeah
also, they have fricken laZer beams too
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:48, archived)
# now THAT would make me happy...Chainsaws with FRICKING LASERS!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:52, archived)
# frick yeah!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:54, archived)
# Maybe he should go to a bar and say he's happytoast:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:43, archived)
# and shout
"DO YOU REALISE HOW FAMOUS I AM ON THE INTERNET!"
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:44, archived)
# hahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:49, archived)
# heheheheheh!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:53, archived)
# Aren't we all famous on the internet
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:53, archived)
# my fav
I call these prison hobbies
(I helped save b3ta! Shinigawa The milky bars are on me, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:45, archived)
# River water
I liked the 'i like what cute girls like' line about drinking river water, and the fact that he randomly drops in how he likes cake. Not quite sure that'll clinch it...
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:49, archived)
# once, I did a shit, that was so big, it hurt
and when I looked into the bowl, it was like "NO WAY" it was so big

it was the biggest shit ever

and it wouldn't flush, it was gigantic

it was called "The Torpedo" (el torpedo-o in spanish)

and I had to use several buckets of water to finally dislodge this mighty otter and send it on it's way out into whatever fucking adventures it was going to have at the shit farm.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:46, archived)
# a great story
i would read that story again
(I helped save b3ta! Shada, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:46, archived)
# it is a shit of legend
some say, that if you hold your ear to the u-bend you might just hear it singing, as it sails about the sewage system, righting wrongs and fighting in the name of justice

and shit
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:48, archived)
# never name your shits
you start to become attached and emotional , next thing you know your reluctant to flush
(I helped save b3ta! Shinigawa The milky bars are on me, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:49, archived)
# if I collected my shit I'd be up to my eyeballs in my own shit
what a fucking mess that would be

I'd have to lay it in ever thicker quantities at some location

eventually it would gain such mass as to be a suitable habitat for modern living
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:51, archived)
# This story is better
than any Harry Potter book.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:47, archived)
# Harry Potter and the Filling of the Pot
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:50, archived)
# I did a poo, it looked abit like jesus
it walked on water... i flushed... then it came back! :o
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:48, archived)
# BOOMERFECANG!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:49, archived)
# ...WAAAAAT?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:51, archived)
# I'm not entirely certain
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:54, archived)
# Four years
for this?


*clicks for a shag*
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:46, archived)
# I clicked it, but all I got, was carpet
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:52, archived)
# not even an unexpected horse!
(I helped save b3ta! gfreeman is only here for the beer, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:54, archived)
# I shall make an unexpected horse some time
and it will catch people out :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 21:06, archived)
# mmm
i do love carpet
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:54, archived)
# Oh yeah, I love a bit of carpet me
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:56, archived)
# lesbin!
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:59, archived)
# beaver bandits?
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 21:02, archived)
# that button is broken :(
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:54, archived)
# it is from that site.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 21:07, archived)
# 'click'
'waits patiently'
(I helped save b3ta! McBadger COW, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 21:08, archived)
# You like eating out?
(I helped save b3ta! Nathanial Hornblower, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:48, archived)
# I'll cheer you up no problem.
I'll happily let you marry my eldest daughter.


But you need to prove that you're as desperate as you say you are. You can prove this by sending mucky pictures of yourself to me. My email address is [email protected]
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:50, archived)
# Um...
I feel the need here to clarify that it isn't me! I don't have prison hobbies...
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:53, archived)
# No need to clarify.
We're all friends here.




Except HappyToast.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:55, archived)
# all the wimmins want to sexy tiem him
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:57, archived)
# *cries*
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:58, archived)
# phwoooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanothanks
(I helped save b3ta! McBadger COW, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 21:05, archived)