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# I swear the bastads've got more hole than wall by now...
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:09, archived)
# Is there anything more annoying?
Well yes, there is. The kid who lives next door to me has a rubber mallet that he bangs on the wall most saturday mornings :(
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:10, archived)
# Play music loud well into the night, then.
When they complain and mention they've got a kid, say "Well he seems to be able to get up early so presumably he can go to bed late."
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:11, archived)
# I would if it weren't for the other people who live in my house :)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:15, archived)
# stroppy teenage stepdaughter from hell
with guitar hero on tour.

Still I don't care cos I've won an award and get to stay here in April.

You may all congratulate me now.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:12, archived)
# Wow!
Nice one! What was the award?

Looks a bit like this hotel I stayed at a couple of years back.

www.hudsonhotel.com/
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:14, archived)
# ooh nice
it's a work award for a successful company integration. It's a team award and I did virtually fuck all that didn't involve clicking a few things. Therefore I take all the glory on principal.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:16, archived)
# *looks at photos*
Their restaurant must be rubbish, they've got no customers!
What was the award?
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:15, archived)
# ^ up there
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:16, archived)
# Would that be his mum's rubber mallet?
thats shaped like a sausage?
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:12, archived)
# I bet he doesn't pause or hesitate...
fearing a bash on the head like this, or like this, cos the one with the most bruises loses
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:13, archived)
# LOLWHAT?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:15, archived)
# I was showing my age there...
/Mallet's Mallet
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:17, archived)
# It's a good job his name wasn't Timmy Claw-Hammer
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:21, archived)
# hmm.
New next door neighbours have dogs which continually bark, several kids who swear loudly and get dropped home in police cars, no mother and a drunken father. Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:14, archived)
# Welcome to faversham :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:15, archived)
# *gasp* so rude!
(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:19, archived)
# my workmate appears to be unable to read inside his head.
he whispers constantly. as if that wasn't enough, he also whispers when using excel or photoshop... "hmm... ok... yes... hmmm... ah... right, ahem... hmmm... *sharp intake of breath*... hmmmmm... *loud exhale*... hmmm. yes..."

It makes me feel more murderous than usual.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:20, archived)
# Sounds like a GP running through his 'chest pain' questionnaire.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:23, archived)
# or a shy plumber working out what he can overcharge for
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:24, archived)
# Your workmate is a shy plumber?
How did you make him shy?
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:27, archived)
# he's not a shy plumber
it was a simile. he is quite shy though and laughs loudly at inappropriate times. A bit like Kevin Eldon's character in the last episode of Partridge, only much louder.

"Hello"
"Hello HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA"
"Good weekend?"
"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA YES HAHAHAHAHHAHAA"

It's quite odd.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:34, archived)
# Our photographer is like that.
We get pictures of startled-looking 100-year-olds and toddlers in the paper, cos he rattles his targets as he attempts to reassure them.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:39, archived)
# serial killer for certain
I'd poison him just to be on the safe side
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:24, archived)
# that is a good plan
I'll see what I can get a hold of. This time of year is bad for arsenic.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:35, archived)
# And even worse for the fuckin Villa.
B'dum tshhh!
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 12:00, archived)
# Any woman hoovering.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 12:24, archived)
# You too?
Maybe there's a CD of DIY sounds you can buy to make neighbours think you can afford renovations.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:12, archived)
# I think my neighbours have another CD from that series
"child abuse, retarded screamed arguments about ipods and farmyard animals snoring"
They play it every morning from 5am until 9
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:16, archived)
# A coupla years ago, I snapped at one point.
I grabbed my hen-pecked neighbour by the lapels and bellowed: "DO YOU WANT ME TO BANG A HAMMER IN YOUR SKULL AT 8 O'CLOCK OF A SATURDAY MORNING?"

He got the message, but I wasn't terribly popular in that cul-de-sac afterwards.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:17, archived)
# I would have preferred 2 hours of drilling sounds...
To watching the new Indiana Jones like I did on Saturday :(

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:14, archived)
# Oh, god, I know.
Crystal Skull makes you want to kill yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! RarelyEvil, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:17, archived)
# I want to know where Mutt got his miracle jacket
Made of magic leather that is comfortable to wear in a rainforest, can get soaking wet and dry out in minutes without damage.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:17, archived)
# aldi
they had a job lot of miracle leather jackets in
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 11:36, archived)