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YIFF.

I am having trouble finding shoes to match my dress.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:24, archived)

Get a leather dress

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Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:25, archived)

Not again, the last one was uncomfortable enough.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:27, archived)

I told you not to get it wet

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Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:31, archived)

It was more the built-in 24 inch waist corset that made it a challenge.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:32, archived)

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Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:33, archived)

You'd be surprised what your body'll let you get away with when you're 18.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:34, archived)

*faints*

*big smile on his face*

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:35, archived)

I'm old now, dude. Only proper clothing from now on.

Actually, that's a complete lie, I've got two corsets in my drawer at home that I bought last year, but they're certainly not 24 inchers.

In fact, that's a good point. Both should be too big for me now. Damn it.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:37, archived)

there's nothing wrong with being old

and people should never give up wearing fancy stuff...

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:40, archived)

I'm a quarter of a century old this year.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:40, archived)

pah

fie and tosh - it means nothing. Missus UnderCover will turn 29 again in a few days and she's as stone cold sexy and wonderful as she was when I knew her as an 18 year old... sexier in fact.

I'm a saggy old fool who doesn't deserve her, but clearly she's grown used to me and can't be bothered to go through the hassle of replacing me :)

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:45, archived)

You think you're saggy

I bet she's like me and she realises that the older a man gets, the sexier he gets. Seriously.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:47, archived)

I think that's mostly because

young men are feckin' retards.

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Fronds are waving gently on, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:51, archived)

the same could be said of females too. Certainly, I was a right tosser in my teens. Less so now. Hopefully still improving.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:53, archived)

As an ex-young man myself,

young men don't notice that young ladies are also retards, because they're too busy trying to get the young ladies' knickers off.

I assume the same is true in reverse.

/edit: Just noticed that my icon gives a good idea of my age!

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Fronds are waving gently on, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:01, archived)

Oh I dunno, I still remember being 18...

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Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:36, archived)

Quite the feat, I barely do

*may have been plastered for most of it*

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:36, archived)

I still think I might be 18

...

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:46, archived)

I've been 18 for about 18 years...

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Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:54, archived)

for 20 years

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:56, archived)

wear boots

and be otherwise naked...? is that an option?

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:25, archived)

Not if JPG ever wants to go to wherever we're going again.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:27, archived)

*taps side of nose*

s'alright - I know the owner...

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:29, archived)

I might break poor Tomble's brain.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:29, archived)

Bless you, lovely.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:30, archived)

He's a delicate flower.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:30, archived)

he may not

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:29, archived)

Ha!

Good point - I hadn't thought of that.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:34, archived)

*emails £500 Selfridges voucher*

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:25, archived)

This is all for you, I hope you realise.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:26, archived)

Oh!

*goes and gets REAL £500 Selfridges voucher*

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:28, archived)

I can't decide between white shoes with black bows on (white and black dress), bright green kitten heels, dark green knee boots or my pre-existing chrome Kurt Geigers.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:30, archived)

*swoons*

You'll look fabulous whatever you choose, my dear.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:32, archived)

You're a love.

I'm going to be thinking of NOTHING but this till then, I can tell. I've got to go belt-matching yet.

Such a fucking woman at times.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:33, archived)

Should I be brushing off my suit?

I don't want to flunk the dress code.

;-)

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:35, archived)

Nah, I'm always slightly over/under dressed.

You know what I'm like. Dresses and silly shoes and all that.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:36, archived)

Stop that!

It was lovely meeting up at the Champers bar last year, right out of Brief Encounter kind of stuff, and you looked spiffing, imho.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:40, archived)

:D until my shoes started to hurt.

You're a kitten.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:41, archived)

I shall carry you if that happens again.

Chuggy Back Rides!

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:42, archived)

I might let you now I don't weigh as much as a Corsa. :D

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:44, archived)

Oh, shush - you nana!

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:51, archived)

*leaps*

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:53, archived)

Right!

Grab the broom, we're playing Knights of the Round Table!

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:54, archived)

I have got the PERFECT chair for this

*lashes skylight-poking-stick to arm*

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:57, archived)

maa-an

this is going to be the best looking bash ever!

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:37, archived)

Gray Linen/Silk mix Daniel Hechter number...

it's not too bad, nope.

;-)

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:38, archived)

Oooooooooooh, that sounds very strokeable.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:39, archived)

Right - that's that decision made, then.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:41, archived)

You just want a koala in eyeliner :D

I shall happily oblige.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:43, archived)

\o/

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:44, archived)

very good call Sir

I'm a bit of a sad old git (for a 29 year old) - but I do enjoy wearing a suit to work... tie pin, pocket handkerchief, Windsor knotted tie.

*rubs thighs thinking of how good he must look*

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:43, archived)

More men should wear suits.

Hats, too. The whole shebang.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:44, archived)

yeah - I forgot to mention the rakish trillby

the brolly and long overcoat.

I think I want to be John Steed.

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:48, archived)

No bad thing.

People don't have as much style as they used to, it'd seem. Obviously present company is excluded from that (especially JPG's shirts).

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:50, archived)

Oh, there's a fab Simon Carter being wheeled out for the occasion...

*is all excited*

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:53, archived)

I knew it!

I knew there'd be a good one lined up!

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:54, archived)

You youngsters, eh?

I think that's a laudable approach to take for one's work attire.

I sadly have fewer and fewer suit-able occasions, work wise, anyhow.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:45, archived)

I do too.

Hopefully more client meetings will mean I get to get the big guns out (Thomas Pink shirts. Not exciting but too good for the likes of the ruffians I work with).

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:52, archived)

I know what I'm getting you for your birthday now.

and it's VERY sexy.

Edit: In a good and appropriate way, I hasten to add.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:56, archived)

Schnooks, you don't have to get me anything. It's AGES away, anyway!

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:58, archived)

www.annefontaine.com/main.php?lang=en

Let it load, takes a bit. Check out the later parts of the 'Collection'.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:02, archived)

Can't, m'love

it'd appear it's flash-based....

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:03, archived)

Think classic French-Tailored White Cotton blouses...

They are *really* lovely.

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:06, archived)

Oooooooh, I'll make a note to have a look at home!

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:07, archived)

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J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:08, archived)

come and buy them in Edinburgh

I'll get people a drink or a smoke

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:13, archived)

You can always borrow a pair of my shoes

They are large enough that they will look like THE SHOES on you and they are black and white ;)

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Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:36, archived)

Am I going to have to wear many many many many socks?

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:38, archived)

Possibly

I wear a UK15, I don't know what that is in a ladies size

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Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:45, archived)

Bloody hell

are you a catamaran?

:D sorry, that must get very wearing. It's about twice as long as my feet, probably.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:46, archived)

Haha

Hence why I said they would look like THE SHOES from smallbrainfield's Posh & Becks sketches :)

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Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:50, archived)

OH I see now.

I hope it's the first time you've been called a catamaran, at least. When I tease people I at least like to be original.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:51, archived)

Yep, first time I've been called that!

I normally get people saying things like ~~"get away from me you ugly big footed freak"~~ "Are those canoes on your feet?" or "Wouldn't it be easier to buy boxes and leave the shoes in the shop" - oh how those make me laugh... :(

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Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:53, archived)

If it makes you feel better

all the other girls buy my shoes before I get a chance, as it seems they all have the same sized feet as me.

I know it won't, but....er..... *hug*

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:55, archived)

Thanks :D

I have to buy my shoes online, I found a nice site that imports them from the US that doesn't charge the earth :)

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Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:59, archived)

Oooh, well done!

An old friend used to have to have them made. I think he was a size 16 or 17. He's dead now, bless him (not because of his massive feet, or his massive rest-of-him, as it happens) but he always had brilliant shoes.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:02, archived)

I always have trouble finding shoes.

I don't wear dresses though.

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Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:26, archived)

You should.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:28, archived)

Any particular style?

That wont make me look like a man-hippo trying to wear a sock?

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Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:29, archived)

Ballgowns. Wedding dresses.

Of course not, you'll look like a little stunner.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:31, archived)

Easy. Wear the shoes that go with the dress

SHE IS WEARING THE SHOES

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Victor Meldrew, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:26, archived)

No shoes go with this dress.

None I can BUY, anyway.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:26, archived)

Colour or style?

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Victor Meldrew, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:32, archived)

That's the thing

it's a black and white dress. I could technically wear ANY colour with them (except brown or navy, naturally).

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:34, archived)

Black and white?

HAS to be red. Fact mixed with design sciences.

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Victor Meldrew, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:39, archived)

With ginger hair?

I don't think so.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:39, archived)

Even more so with ginger, whats wrong with that?

Striking colours at top and bottom (and maybe middle of course *cough cough*).

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Victor Meldrew, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:42, archived)

Red and ginger clash. Trust me, I've got a red top

I'm not really ginger, I'm blonde and it looked alright on me when I had my own hair colour, but it looks awful now.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:45, archived)

Bah

and there ends my advice on dressing a woman..

*puts down white stripes album artwork*

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Victor Meldrew, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:54, archived)

Oooh, I'd like to have her boobs.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:00, archived)

I'm sure many of us would.

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my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:02, archived)

You'd strap them onto your eyes

I know your sort.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:05, archived)

Yes.

I enjoy the drama of having to stop them from getting cold for fear of being poked in the eye.

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my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:07, archived)

Get a different dress?

Maybe?

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i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:38, archived)

This dress was bought SPECIFICALLY for this purpose.

So no. :D

Morning lady. Or afternoon, whichever you prefer.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:40, archived)

Alright then, I suggest you post a pic of the dress and let us all choose some shoes for you :D

Also, I believe "ning" should suffice. So - ning! All good apart from wardrobe troubles?

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i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:44, archived)

it's this, but I took the sleeves off and will be wearing a very tight black turtleneck underneath

www.asos.com/The-Laden-Showroom/Get-Cutie-Eiffel-Tower-Print-Short-Cap-Sleeve-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=398874&SearchQuery=get%20cutie&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Black

it's sort of like a little pinafore now.

All is good, I'm just mentally tired, so shoes are a nice distraction.....

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:49, archived)

Lovely :D

I automatically thought knee boots. But, that's just the sort of girl I am.

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i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:02, archived)

Dark green ones? Slightly piraty?

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:04, archived)

Yeah, why not. With perhaps a matching green bag/hair doofer

Or just plain, simple, snazzy black. With your hair colour, can you really go wrong?

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i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:12, archived)

Only with pinks and reds

which unfortunately seem to be the colours for this season... well, for a lot of shoe places.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:21, archived)