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# i yam a capitalist cat
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:24, archived)
# YIFF.
I am having trouble finding shoes to match my dress.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:24, archived)
# Get a leather dress
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:25, archived)
# Not again, the last one was uncomfortable enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:27, archived)
# I told you not to get it wet
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:31, archived)
# It was more the built-in 24 inch waist corset that made it a challenge.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:32, archived)
# :O
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:33, archived)
# You'd be surprised what your body'll let you get away with when you're 18.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:34, archived)
# *faints*
*big smile on his face*
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:35, archived)
# I'm old now, dude. Only proper clothing from now on.
Actually, that's a complete lie, I've got two corsets in my drawer at home that I bought last year, but they're certainly not 24 inchers.

In fact, that's a good point. Both should be too big for me now. Damn it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:37, archived)
# there's nothing wrong with being old
and people should never give up wearing fancy stuff...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:40, archived)
# I'm a quarter of a century old this year.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:40, archived)
# pah
fie and tosh - it means nothing. Missus UnderCover will turn 29 again in a few days and she's as stone cold sexy and wonderful as she was when I knew her as an 18 year old... sexier in fact.

I'm a saggy old fool who doesn't deserve her, but clearly she's grown used to me and can't be bothered to go through the hassle of replacing me :)
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:45, archived)
# You think you're saggy
I bet she's like me and she realises that the older a man gets, the sexier he gets. Seriously.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:47, archived)
# I think that's mostly because
young men are feckin' retards.
(I helped save b3ta! Fronds are waving gently on, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:51, archived)
# :D
the same could be said of females too. Certainly, I was a right tosser in my teens. Less so now. Hopefully still improving.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:53, archived)
# As an ex-young man myself,
young men don't notice that young ladies are also retards, because they're too busy trying to get the young ladies' knickers off.

I assume the same is true in reverse.

/edit: Just noticed that my icon gives a good idea of my age!
(I helped save b3ta! Fronds are waving gently on, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:01, archived)
# Oh I dunno, I still remember being 18...
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:36, archived)
# Quite the feat, I barely do
*may have been plastered for most of it*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:36, archived)
# I still think I might be 18
...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:46, archived)
# I've been 18 for about 18 years...
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:54, archived)
# ^
for 20 years
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:56, archived)
# wear boots
and be otherwise naked...? is that an option?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:25, archived)
# Not if JPG ever wants to go to wherever we're going again.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:27, archived)
# *taps side of nose*
s'alright - I know the owner...
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:29, archived)
# I might break poor Tomble's brain.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:29, archived)
# Bless you, lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:30, archived)
# He's a delicate flower.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:30, archived)
# he may not
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:29, archived)
# Ha!
Good point - I hadn't thought of that.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:34, archived)
# *emails £500 Selfridges voucher*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:25, archived)
# This is all for you, I hope you realise.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:26, archived)
# Oh!
*goes and gets REAL £500 Selfridges voucher*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:28, archived)
# :D
I can't decide between white shoes with black bows on (white and black dress), bright green kitten heels, dark green knee boots or my pre-existing chrome Kurt Geigers.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:30, archived)
# *swoons*
You'll look fabulous whatever you choose, my dear.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:32, archived)
# You're a love.
I'm going to be thinking of NOTHING but this till then, I can tell. I've got to go belt-matching yet.

Such a fucking woman at times.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:33, archived)
# Should I be brushing off my suit?
I don't want to flunk the dress code.

;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:35, archived)
# Nah, I'm always slightly over/under dressed.
You know what I'm like. Dresses and silly shoes and all that.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:36, archived)
# Stop that!
It was lovely meeting up at the Champers bar last year, right out of Brief Encounter kind of stuff, and you looked spiffing, imho.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:40, archived)
# :D until my shoes started to hurt.
You're a kitten.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:41, archived)
# I shall carry you if that happens again.
Chuggy Back Rides!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:42, archived)
# I might let you now I don't weigh as much as a Corsa. :D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:44, archived)
# Oh, shush - you nana!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:51, archived)
# *leaps*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:53, archived)
# Right!
Grab the broom, we're playing Knights of the Round Table!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:54, archived)
# I have got the PERFECT chair for this
*lashes skylight-poking-stick to arm*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:57, archived)
# maa-an
this is going to be the best looking bash ever!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:37, archived)
# Gray Linen/Silk mix Daniel Hechter number...
it's not too bad, nope.

;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:38, archived)
# Oooooooooooh, that sounds very strokeable.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:39, archived)
# Right - that's that decision made, then.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:41, archived)
# You just want a koala in eyeliner :D
I shall happily oblige.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:43, archived)
# \o/
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:44, archived)
# very good call Sir
I'm a bit of a sad old git (for a 29 year old) - but I do enjoy wearing a suit to work... tie pin, pocket handkerchief, Windsor knotted tie.

*rubs thighs thinking of how good he must look*
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:43, archived)
# More men should wear suits.
Hats, too. The whole shebang.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:44, archived)
# yeah - I forgot to mention the rakish trillby
the brolly and long overcoat.

I think I want to be John Steed.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:48, archived)
# No bad thing.
People don't have as much style as they used to, it'd seem. Obviously present company is excluded from that (especially JPG's shirts).
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:50, archived)
# Oh, there's a fab Simon Carter being wheeled out for the occasion...
*is all excited*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:53, archived)
# I knew it!
I knew there'd be a good one lined up!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:54, archived)
# You youngsters, eh?
I think that's a laudable approach to take for one's work attire.

I sadly have fewer and fewer suit-able occasions, work wise, anyhow.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:45, archived)
# I do too.
Hopefully more client meetings will mean I get to get the big guns out (Thomas Pink shirts. Not exciting but too good for the likes of the ruffians I work with).
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:52, archived)
# I know what I'm getting you for your birthday now.
and it's VERY sexy.

Edit: In a good and appropriate way, I hasten to add.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:56, archived)
# :D
Schnooks, you don't have to get me anything. It's AGES away, anyway!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:58, archived)
# :D
www.annefontaine.com/main.php?lang=en

Let it load, takes a bit. Check out the later parts of the 'Collection'.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:02, archived)
# Can't, m'love
it'd appear it's flash-based....
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:03, archived)
# Think classic French-Tailored White Cotton blouses...
They are *really* lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:06, archived)
# Oooooooh, I'll make a note to have a look at home!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:07, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:08, archived)
# come and buy them in Edinburgh
I'll get people a drink or a smoke
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:13, archived)
# You can always borrow a pair of my shoes
They are large enough that they will look like THE SHOES on you and they are black and white ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:36, archived)
# Am I going to have to wear many many many many socks?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:38, archived)
# Possibly
I wear a UK15, I don't know what that is in a ladies size
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:45, archived)
# Bloody hell
are you a catamaran?

:D sorry, that must get very wearing. It's about twice as long as my feet, probably.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:46, archived)
# Haha
Hence why I said they would look like THE SHOES from smallbrainfield's Posh & Becks sketches :)
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:50, archived)
# OH I see now.
I hope it's the first time you've been called a catamaran, at least. When I tease people I at least like to be original.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:51, archived)
# Yep, first time I've been called that!
I normally get people saying things like "get away from me you ugly big footed freak" "Are those canoes on your feet?" or "Wouldn't it be easier to buy boxes and leave the shoes in the shop" - oh how those make me laugh... :(
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:53, archived)
# If it makes you feel better
all the other girls buy my shoes before I get a chance, as it seems they all have the same sized feet as me.

I know it won't, but....er..... *hug*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:55, archived)
# Thanks :D
I have to buy my shoes online, I found a nice site that imports them from the US that doesn't charge the earth :)
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:59, archived)
# Oooh, well done!
An old friend used to have to have them made. I think he was a size 16 or 17. He's dead now, bless him (not because of his massive feet, or his massive rest-of-him, as it happens) but he always had brilliant shoes.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:02, archived)
# I always have trouble finding shoes.
I don't wear dresses though.
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:26, archived)
# You should.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:28, archived)
# Any particular style?
That wont make me look like a man-hippo trying to wear a sock?
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:29, archived)
# Ballgowns. Wedding dresses.
Of course not, you'll look like a little stunner.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:31, archived)
# Easy. Wear the shoes that go with the dress
SHE IS WEARING THE SHOES
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:26, archived)
# No shoes go with this dress.
None I can BUY, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:26, archived)
# Colour or style?
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:32, archived)
# That's the thing
it's a black and white dress. I could technically wear ANY colour with them (except brown or navy, naturally).
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:34, archived)
# Black and white?
HAS to be red. Fact mixed with design sciences.
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:39, archived)
# With ginger hair?
I don't think so.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:39, archived)
# Even more so with ginger, whats wrong with that?
Striking colours at top and bottom (and maybe middle of course *cough cough*).
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:42, archived)
# Red and ginger clash. Trust me, I've got a red top
I'm not really ginger, I'm blonde and it looked alright on me when I had my own hair colour, but it looks awful now.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:45, archived)
# Bah
and there ends my advice on dressing a woman..

*puts down white stripes album artwork*
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:54, archived)
# Oooh, I'd like to have her boobs.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:00, archived)
# I'm sure many of us would.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:02, archived)
# You'd strap them onto your eyes
I know your sort.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:05, archived)
# Yes.
I enjoy the drama of having to stop them from getting cold for fear of being poked in the eye.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:07, archived)
# Get a different dress?
Maybe?
(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:38, archived)
# This dress was bought SPECIFICALLY for this purpose.
So no. :D

Morning lady. Or afternoon, whichever you prefer.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:40, archived)
# Alright then, I suggest you post a pic of the dress and let us all choose some shoes for you :D
Also, I believe "ning" should suffice. So - ning! All good apart from wardrobe troubles?
(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:44, archived)
# it's this, but I took the sleeves off and will be wearing a very tight black turtleneck underneath
www.asos.com/The-Laden-Showroom/Get-Cutie-Eiffel-Tower-Print-Short-Cap-Sleeve-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=398874&SearchQuery=get%20cutie&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Black


it's sort of like a little pinafore now.

All is good, I'm just mentally tired, so shoes are a nice distraction.....

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:49, archived)
# Lovely :D
I automatically thought knee boots. But, that's just the sort of girl I am.

(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:02, archived)
# Dark green ones? Slightly piraty?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:04, archived)
# Yeah, why not. With perhaps a matching green bag/hair doofer
Or just plain, simple, snazzy black. With your hair colour, can you really go wrong?
(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:12, archived)
# Only with pinks and reds
which unfortunately seem to be the colours for this season... well, for a lot of shoe places.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 16:21, archived)
# Heheheehehe
beadle-paw!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:25, archived)
# :)
... although I find the idea of targeting people just because they are in a certain place and wearing a suit somewhat worrying
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:26, archived)
# WITCHES!
BURN THEM ALL!
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:27, archived)
# can we at least wait until I've had time
to get home and change out of my suit?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:28, archived)
# he's dandy :)
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Wed 1 Apr 2009, 15:27, archived)