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# For Mr. Gruntfuttock...

Edit: Please raise your glasses :)
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:38, archived)
# *glazes arse*
What?

Oh.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:38, archived)
# *charges arse*
(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:39, archived)
# *arches chars*
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:50, archived)
# *obligingly chugs away*
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:38, archived)
# *belch*
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:39, archived)
# Nothing like a depressant to drive the blues away.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:40, archived)
# Once you've finished, you can open the keg too
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:40, archived)
# *is unsure if I'm thinking what you're thinking but bokes anyway*
(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:41, archived)
# pwhahah I often look at old people and thing that I would have if they were 30 years younger...
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:41, archived)
# Your standards are too high then.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:42, archived)
# Well, to be honest, I probably would even if they were 80
but I doubt they fancy a quick jump, and I don't think they'd appreciate being propositioned.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:45, archived)
# You never know until you try...
Just whip out a tube of KY and give 'em a sly wink... they'll be yours.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:47, archived)
# I'm close to just trying that with everyone I meet or already vaugely know
it's not as if I give a stuff if they tell me to go away, I probably already don't like them
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:48, archived)
# Not even liking someone and not caring what they think
is the first step in any healthy relationship...

Give it a whirl, you might get lucky.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:50, archived)
# Ok there's maybe three choices:
1. The asian one with smaller boobs than me (even after my moobs have shrunk considerably)
2. The cross eyed one
3. The frigging annoying one.
And what next after I get 1. cried at 2. given the evil eye 3. kicked in the jatz crackers?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:52, archived)
# Try for all three...
Small boobs are stil better than no boobs at all, cross-eyed is in no place to have high standards so should be ripe for the picking and frigging annoying won't be so annoying once naked.


God I hope my wife isn't reading this.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:54, archived)
# I actually like the crosseyed one
and really fancied the irritating one a year ago. been miserable ever since I walked past her a few weeks ago. I sortof finally forgot about her and then she has to reappear.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:58, archived)
# So start taking the piss out of her... playful banter like...
Then, once you've established a reputation for saying nasty / outlandish things, you can quite openly ask to put your cock in her mouth to keep her quiet, and no-one will berate you for it.

Bonus being, she might* suddenly become all lusty and agree to it.

*won't
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 14:00, archived)
# That just gave me the reputation for being a grumpy rude arsehole
I must have done it wrong.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 14:02, archived)
# Evidently...
You need to do it in a flirty, 'I'm joking' kind of way...

If you get it right then...

erm...

I don't know, it's never worked for me either.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 14:05, archived)
# huzzah!
what a great face she has





tj:
In the pub last night I was approached by one of Sheffield's natives, this man lectured me for a good 10 minutes on how unfair it was that we weren't allowed to celebrate St George's day and we not allowed to because it'll offend "all t'fookin pakies".
now, I've no idea what your high streets looked like last night but every pub on my street had tons of george's crosses and no customers. to me that looks less as though "we're not allowed to celebrate it" and more that no could give a toss really.
fucking moron.
(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:39, archived)
# ^This
Our selection of locals were festooned with flags, nobody really seemed to care though...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:41, archived)
# festooned is a really, really good word
i was just rather chipper because bombadier was on £2 a pint. thats not to be sniffed at.
(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:42, archived)
# I enjoyed the alliteration of 'festooned with flags'
I was going to ask what beer people could drink to celebrate St.Georges...

Ireland has Guiness, Scotland Tennents Super, what do we have...?

Carling.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:44, archived)
# Racist is a moron! Shock!
In other news, Humpty Dumpty is reported to have weight problems, the Pope has been seen wearing a funny hat, and a famous ursine trio has been accused of sylvan defecation.

:)
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:41, archived)
# *true dats*
(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:43, archived)
# ISSADAMMININDITEMUNTOVVASOCIATYWEERLIVININTODAY.
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:42, archived)
# Are you celebrating St. Fidelis' day today?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:44, archived)
# who?
is he another Lebanese saint loosely associated with a country?
(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:46, archived)
# no idea, I just looked at a calander which has all the feasts on it.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:47, archived)
# Smashng photo of him!
'Noons all!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:39, archived)
# Oi!
Steady, you...

;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 14:37, archived)
# *raises mug of full strength Arabican blend*
ch-ch-ch-cheers Jp-p-p--eg!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:40, archived)
# cheers!
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:40, archived)
# JPG has way more meetings and annoying work obligations this afternoon
than should really be legal, so I'm not sure if he'll see this.

I'd send him a gaz with a link to it because I know he'd be gutted to miss it :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:54, archived)
# Can't have him missing his own party!
*refills*
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:56, archived)
# Awwwwwwww!
Bless you, kind sir!

Has kebab drunk all the lovely ale?
:D
Ah, no, some left....
*glugs*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 14:22, archived)