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# BZZAP!

the bird is made out of fiction. So it is not really dead : )
(I helped save b3ta! --- ---, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:11, archived)
# How did it earth itself?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:12, archived)
# with the magic of animation
: )
(I helped save b3ta! --- ---, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:13, archived)
# Sssh..
Semantics.
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:13, archived)
# Sssh
Physics
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 4:22, archived)
# ssssshhhhh
Thermodynamics
(I helped save b3ta! mattyremf, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 10:21, archived)
# It dun a piss.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:13, archived)
# I go with this repost!
However, must have been a hell of a stream to ensure conductivity to ground.
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:17, archived)
# Ha ha, fooled you. Birds don't even piss!
They do wet poos that have all piss in as well.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:20, archived)
# And WHO said it was piss?
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:21, archived)
# I said it was piss but I was joking. I know birds do not piss because I have never been pissed on by a bird.
I have been shat on by a bird though.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:26, archived)
# This thread is done..



*tumble weed*

:)
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:29, archived)
#
wiki.answers.com/Q/Do_birds_piss
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:30, archived)
# Yes, they piss.. or don't.
The point was..(sod it).. never mind :)
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:34, archived)
# LOOK OK, BIRDS DON'T PISS
Jesus, how are you not understanding this.
en.allexperts.com/q/Birding-1435/birds-urinate.htm
answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060814070103AAALCBQ
www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2012/do-birds-pee - ignore this one as it is clearly wrong
wiki.answers.com/Q/When_do_birds_urinate
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:38, archived)
# they piss in their poo
yes?.. they must have consumed some fucking great Balti to get a short to earth.. are we on track now?
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:42, archived)
# yep
but they might reach the pole
*hides*
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:43, archived)
# I guess they should!
You win. I'm glad most birds (even the human kind) don't have a taste for balti.
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:47, archived)
# :D
yes the bird in the picture there would have had to have some artistic licence to have popped. and shitting or pissing wouldnt have done it. technically i dont win because the bird is on the wrong sort of pole and goes no where near the pole. and well its late I enjoyed the banter thanks :D
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:57, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:59, archived)
# I used to park under a regular seagull haunt.
Their psshit would have done the job handsomely. Bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 4:25, archived)
# :O NO! They don't piss. They just poo, K?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:03, archived)
# ostrich
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 4:01, archived)
# oh nuts
I was trying to link to the question, "Is it true that homosexual are responsible for global warming?"

but it's been deleted

spoilsports
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:38, archived)
# I
had believed it was the result of the decline in piracy of the high seas.
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:42, archived)
# Are they, how?
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:43, archived)
# this was on yahoo! answers, results were inconclusive
 
I think they were mostly along the lines of what the fuck are you talking about don't be ridiculous
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:46, archived)
# Makes sense
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:48, archived)
# Lots of important questions still to be answered.
wiki.answers.com/Q/Does_there_is_ejaculation_for_gay
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:44, archived)
# I can answer the first one - only if you have micropenis.
also here is a related question:
wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_does_your_penis_get_bigger_when_you_look_at_your_sister
 
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:07, archived)
#
wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_crocodile_talk
:(
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:21, archived)
# PMSL!
Looking at these "questions" I haven't been able to stop chuckling like a goon!
(Flaming Badger likes mushrooms, not so much snakes..., Wed 27 Jan 2010, 4:32, archived)
# yeah, it's alright, yeah
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:05, archived)
# The only exception is the ostrich, which has a urinary bladder
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 4:30, archived)
# perhapes the cable had a gap in it
but was held together with the insulation which had only a hole in it
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:13, archived)
# this is nonsence overhead cables dont have insulation
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:14, archived)
# well if they are phone cables they might
this is clearly a telegraph pole the shock wouldnt have hurt the brid to the extent shown.
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:15, archived)
# actually in many cases they can
we dont even know which country this is from
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:16, archived)
# hmm so its possible that the bird might have gotten a mild
shock, have been eating bicarbonate soda before the incident took place then the electric shock ignites the digestive gas. the odds are pretty long. especially as i dont have a fucking clue what im on about.
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:19, archived)
# ahhaa!!
no one is listening now so i can confirm that
www.themodernapprentice.com/electrocution.htm
I gave up ruminating and getting things wrong
firstly that powerlines do take that form in some places
secondly that they can be electricuted by the pole if they bridge the gap between wires. all they have to do is muck up the graph and make j = not minus one (or something)
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:26, archived)
# If they don't touch ground, they can take as much volts as they want.
Unless they get too close to ground, but the conductivity of the air is variable depending upon weather conditions. (moisture etc)

It's all about conductivity Vs resistance.
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:28, archived)
# ahh but the pole is grounded thus if they get close to that or between
two wires on a different phase angle, zap in the case shown the bird seems to be too far away to have been zapped but its possible for a bird to fry itself on some wires.
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:31, archived)
# No, the pole is insulated.. the current is carried across it.
(not through it)
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:33, archived)
# insulated by
Insulator This black "knob" is a ceramic or plastic insulator. This is the piece that prevents the pole itself from becoming electrified and allows the current to pass through without resistance.

but if a bird joins the pole and the wire its no longer insulated.
the pole is grounded even without any electricity flowing. I mean i could stick a pole in the ground thats not hooked up to anything its going to be grounded. at least thats what im thinking, I think
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:39, archived)
# The bird was no where NEAR the insulator
Wasn't it?.. it was on the wire (as in the adage)
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:45, archived)
# "Bird on the wire"
/sings
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:51, archived)
# B bbbbbut shurely...
There would be potential difference between the two feet and a If the If a bird stood with it's legs far enough apart then a proportion of the current would flow through the bird.

The amount would depend on the relative resistance of bird and wire. Obviously the wire is less resistant so most would stay in the wire, but a fraction would go up one leg and down the other.

So... how far apart would it's legs have to be to generate zappable amounts?

That's right innit?
(I helped save b3ta! simbosan is too tired, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:58, archived)
# It's not grounded at all..
This entire thread is fictional.

Which should not detract from the original beauty of the slop work!
(said bird could spread it's legs across MILES of wire, if it is still not grounded to earth, no shorting effect)
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:02, archived)
# Hmmm
Ok, on a wire... if you put a meter across a section of wire with a current going through it, you will indeed get a potential difference regardless of grounding. Cos wires aren't superconducting.

That's what I learned at skool =)
(I helped save b3ta! simbosan is too tired, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:13, archived)
# Do you remember the bit about shortest route to earth?
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:15, archived)
# When currents are involved
Then you can start the math for the incidence of lethality

I hope you are more learned than me as you are hopefully the future.. any hoo, my bed calleth, g'night :)
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:16, archived)
# there is a minimum current for conductivity
and bird vs steel your more likely to get a current excited in the birds (magneticaly premiable) body resulting from the magnetic field surrounding the cable, than from the diference in distance of its legs on the wire when it lands.
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:25, archived)
# unless you have a very slaggy bird who has legs that are miles apart
uhmm and are very wet with some kind of juices
edit nn mikenco
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:27, archived)
# hmm
Resistivity = 11.8 × 10-6 Ωcm" for steel at 0c
resitance of a dead chicken (Frozen) over the aproximate distance of a starling groin = thats not really fair i mean its forzen and full of water. im going to have to put an ohmeter over a birds groin while its still alive to find out. this is how scientology wins so many arguments. its because people just cant be bothered to refute such atupid claims. Im going to make myself a gin and orange and sulk. and let you win the argument i was having with myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:40, archived)
# EGGSACLY!
So, the question remains, how far apart would a birds legs have to be before it got zapped!

Jamnog too lazy, ahh well, me too! Time for Youngs Special

S
(I helped save b3ta! simbosan is too tired, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 5:30, archived)
# static discharge!
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:20, archived)
# The animation skills are superb!
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:12, archived)
# All the artificial, graphical beauty of 'Okami'
vs all the natural, plain brutality of physics.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:13, archived)
# wonderfull
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:14, archived)
# GJTITS
Brill
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:15, archived)
# you a birdzappa
(I helped save b3ta! Shada, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:17, archived)
# He gave his kids the craziest of names!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:18, archived)
# This is ace!
Also, I just totally did a fart under the covers! What is the best length of time to leave it before smelling? GO!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:17, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! e1bow parts of this page are not secure, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:33, archived)
# about 2-4 seconds
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:57, archived)
# \o/
Ace, see!
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:19, archived)
# so do you like dominoes
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QssmIIs-8Q
 
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:19, archived)
# YES, I LIKES DOMINOES. ALSO: CATS.
Winnipeg, on the other hand, is a total bore.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:24, archived)
# Flippycat :)
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:43, archived)
# yeah I was looking for moar cat videos after seeing this one
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jm3dm5J5r0A

but the dominoes are pretty freaking sweet too
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:48, archived)
# That would take a lot of setup for a decent repost
Good vid that!
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:56, archived)
# Awwwwww
he cares not.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:57, archived)
# Who cares not?
:(
(I helped save b3ta! mikenco, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:10, archived)
# Gentle, or you'll get nasty comments
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:58, archived)
# yeah I like that bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:06, archived)
# Hooray!
A bright day for a dark early morning.
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:22, archived)
# Excellent
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:38, archived)
# I'm not laughing at this until you can prove the bird didn't really die
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:56, archived)
# the electricity only stunned it
 
however on hitting the ground it got eaten by a cat
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:35, archived)
# a ghostcat
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:43, archived)
# well it's the only way my fatarse cat has ever caught a brid
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 4:06, archived)
# also
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOpPvP08R7M
 
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:39, archived)
# a ghostcat
a ghostcat oops, replied to wrong post -bahhh!
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:41, archived)
# a ghostpost
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 4:12, archived)
# Ghostkatze?
Photobucket
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 4:35, archived)
# JA, MEIN HERR!
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 5:01, archived)
# Looooooooooooooooooovely katze!
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 5:02, archived)
# he was
is ghost now.

meeeoooOOOOOoooOOoooooooOOOOOOOoowwwww
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 5:10, archived)
# awwwwww much mew
want dat
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 3:43, archived)
#
i cannot maintain silence about this anymore -- freaky arm!!
img194.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=69811_12_122_213lo.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 2:56, archived)
# FORESHORTENING, MOTHERFUCKER
 
who's the douchebag rubbing up against her bum?
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 4:10, archived)
# Love ya, tits!
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 4:36, archived)
# Yeah...
I Luz Exploding Cocks...

(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 5:18, archived)