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[challenge entry] Ananova's new
content delivery system, while fast, wasnt quite how the salesman had implied.
(anat0010, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 4:14, archived)
# good work
good train
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 5:05, archived)
# Joke:
Knock knock . . .
(milk_explosion, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 4:09, archived)
# who's there?
eh?
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 4:12, archived)
# Little Boy Blue
.
(milk_explosion, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 4:23, archived)
# little boy blue
who?
(I helped save b3ta! automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 4:25, archived)
# ...
Jonathan King. (boom-tish!)
(milk_explosion, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 4:28, archived)
# found on fark
Mariah Carey entertains the troops. Now I ask you - does this look like an insecure woman to you?
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 4:08, archived)
# The one at the back right is about
to fall over his tongue
(james, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 4:18, archived)
# found on fark
why has she got so many clothes on???
(ji''zz''m, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 15:22, archived)
# Tony
what is the biggest thing you have ever lost and where did it go?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 3:59, archived)
# animal shapes
go 3d woo

llamadecahedron
(I helped save b3ta! wangolini, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 3:49, archived)
# that is very nice
I would like a flock, to use as guard dogs.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 4:47, archived)
# Absolutely fantastic
thankyou very verymuch, that is a light of purest joy in my dark, dreary existence.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Tue 11 Dec 2001, 7:13, archived)
# Dear Tony
Oxford Brookes Uni Student Union bar is called Harts after your good self..it also had a nice picture of you above the door..have you ever been there?
(duckdemon, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 3:41, archived)
# Dear Tony
Don't you know you've got your Daddy's eyes, Daddy was an alcoholic?
(milk_explosion, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 3:34, archived)
# b3ta woo!


yay for lego creator :)
(sorgboi, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 21:29, archived)
# The 3
is backwards =)
(thellama73, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 22:22, archived)
# i have
no idea what you're talking about...

ahem..

(and i'd just like to point out that although i tried very hard to get the correct contextual positionings of the aforementioned 'woo' and 'yay', i fear i may have got it slightly astray. could we perhaps, under the circumstances, erect an intermediate adjective along the lines of "woay", to prevent further confusion?)
(sorgboi, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 0:26, archived)
# perhaps you ought to read a book on the subject.
I reccommend "The Correct Use of Woo and Yay in a Photoshopped Society" by Cliky Wu.
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 3:31, archived)
# The natural progression to all this photoshopping
is www.sputnik7.com/vod/vodartist.jsp?key=eple§ion=music

Fantastic music too.

(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 20:43, archived)
[challenge entry] via MrsBuba
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 20:03, archived)
# I have downloading AcidXpress - and made a tune
It's me humming and whistling along with the Archers theme tune. (Quite queitly so that I don't wake my flatmates up.)

Experience the future of recording sound here.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 19:21, archived)
# mm-hmm
you sing better than you whistle :)
(corruptia, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 20:17, archived)
# Fabulous!
B3ta Christmas single?
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 3:33, archived)
# dum di dum di dum di dum
A new Archers for the new millennium? Maybe you could put a few startled cow grunts in there.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 4:03, archived)
# If only...
...horses could SWEAR...

(StuffedAlienOnWheels, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 17:10, archived)
# ha ha ha
now if u could turn that into a flash movie
(rik, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 17:11, archived)
# Quite easily!
Hold your horses (snigger)
(StuffedAlienOnWheels, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 17:15, archived)
# bad pun
very bad
(rik, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 17:17, archived)
# Yeh, I know
But hopefully a quick witted retort from the labrador puppy will ease the tension...



Flash version soon...
(StuffedAlienOnWheels, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 17:28, archived)
# SMIRNOFF AD CAMPAIGN
Well you have seen the television adverts aswell as the noticeboards,

I hacked into the Smirnoff website and found some shocking images that they were going to use for their campain.













(vinnie, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 16:53, archived)
# Blimey Mr. Vinnie
who did the paintings?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 17:23, archived)
# Paintings.
Dont know mate, i found them on a homeless website
(vinnie, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 2:13, archived)
# Dear Tony.
Are you a freind of Dorothy?
(Ix the Wiz, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 16:39, archived)
# Dear Tony.
Me and my missus would earnestly like to know if you are gay.
(Ix the Wiz, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 16:38, archived)
# My girlf wondered that too ...
... what is it about him that makes people wonder?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 16:43, archived)
# Did Tony Hart ever...
...try to mould Morph into a cock? Or a poo?

And did he ever put Morph's head up one of his nostrils, for a laugh? Or tear one of Morph's legs off and stick it on his head? Or try starving him? Or make him a little arsehole with a sharpened pencil?
(StuffedAlienOnWheels, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 16:14, archived)
# er thanks ...
... not sure I'll be faxing that to Tony. Have you got a nice question for Tony? Like

*) What happened to the pictures after they were in the gallery?

*) What was your favourite picture you remember from the gallery?

*) How much money will you give my mate Stu for the domain name he registered called takehart.com
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 16:23, archived)
# Oh, alright...
...how about:

- Did you ever lie and say that shite pictures in the gallery made from cornflakes or milk bottle tops were "profound statements wittily satirising the mislaid identity of the nation's youth, juxtaposed with the eternal futility of urban life?" (Or something)

- Did you pass off any of the kid's pictures as your own or nick ideas from them?

- The cravate: why? Did you suffer from a shaving rash or were you trying to hid a (second head/love bite/tattoo/miniscule siamese twin)

- Mr Bennett (the caretaker): were you ever tempted to glass him? He was very annoying as I remember and needed a slap.

- Did you ever use bodily fluids to create works of art, like Chris Ofili or Gilbert and George?

- Were you ever tempted to create a piece of art on the show that could be deemed controversial or upsetting, just to see if you could get away with it?
(StuffedAlienOnWheels, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 16:38, archived)
# thank you
there a couple of good ones there.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 16:54, archived)
# Tony Hart
is it true that andy peters bummed you?
(Hursty, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 15:33, archived)
# Shut
up.
(Ernest Thesiger, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 19:12, archived)
# YES
i am afraid it's true i was envolved in a night of passion with andy peters. he's laaaaarvly!
(Tony Hart, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 6:43, archived)
# What sound software should I use?
I've had an idea for a bit of sequenced audio...

In the past I've used Fasttracker II for this kind of stuff.

This won't run on my super modern PC. Gah.

I've tried Fruity Loops, but this wants be to register for importing samples.... And madtracker & modplay ... well I've just spent a couple of hours on them ... and they suck.

What do you reckon? Or should I just fork out the cash for fruityloops?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 15:25, archived)
# depends what you want to do
the full fruityloops package is getting pretty complex, but still tends to favour four to the floor dance stompers. If you want to pull together sample based music, you could go the acid route (much more satisfying results than fruity loops as a beginner) - a free cutdown version is at here and download the free cutdown version acid express, or buy a copy of acid music for around £30. If its just sequencing, get a free version of cubasis from the disc on the front of Computer Music magazine.

And er make music...
(I helped save b3ta! automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 15:38, archived)
# acid express sounds cool ...
... but 27MB? My dialup will never stand it.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 15:41, archived)
# yeah
you could always burn onto cd at work, i guess...
(I helped save b3ta! automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 15:48, archived)
# I'm giving it a go downloading at home ..
... sadly at work - although we have nice quick connection, we don't have a CD burner.

Oh well. 12% done.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 15:55, archived)
# 37%
.... i could go on all night.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 16:24, archived)
# 55%
looks like I'm not going to bed for a while yet.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 16:44, archived)
# Rob...
***nudge***nudge***wink***wink***

still need a copy?
(Zannusi Beatz, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 17:16, archived)
# Cheers
I'll see how I get on with this Acid thing. It sounds interesting.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 17:20, archived)
# cool
well let us know if you do, ive got plenty of old soft samplers/sequencers etc lying around collecting dust, ACID amongst them.
(Z B, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 17:28, archived)
# 88%
if this cuts out now... i'm going to go "grr.." and hit the keyboard - and turn off the PC too quickly. That'll show it.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 17:18, archived)
# 100%
woo.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 17:30, archived)
# but will you be able to make music
as fine as www.dictionaraoke.org?

I particularly liked the ramones and snoop doggy dogg covers...inspired obsessiveness like this will be rewarded in heaven...
(I helped save b3ta! automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 15:42, archived)
# there is some software
here but you must buy it if you intend to use it for any period of time ...lalala - nuff said
(I helped save b3ta! hal9000 sme, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 20:59, archived)
# oh yeah
i forgot to say that i recomend friutyloops3 it can do some really amazing things with samples once youve got your head round it (which shouldnt be difficult if youve used an old tracker style prog before)
(I helped save b3ta! hal9000 sme, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 21:02, archived)
# Monkey Adventure...
...PART 2! - WOO!

The sequel to part 1
(I helped save b3ta! JamboM, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 15:22, archived)
# pretty cool
I look forward to more adventures.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 15:27, archived)
# Woo!
The monkey rocks!


(That explosion sound reminds me of an old Amiga game called CaveRunner...)
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 17:03, archived)

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