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Music Factob #2:

the reason why take that split up was because robbie williams accused gary barlow for steeling his chicken what he resently bought from KwikSave "Where's my bloody chicken" robbie said to gary.

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:39, archived)

Music Factob #1:

Puff Daddy Changed His Name to P Diddy Because he was reciving letters From Catholics Saying that he sould die for having a homosexual name. reports are also in that he will be turning white to get all the catholics off his back.

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:25, archived)

and you found this

information where?

(

pep, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:28, archived)

did the catholics

take away snoop dogg's doggy?

edit: exam in two and a half hours- i am losing it

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:33, archived)

relax

You'll sail through :)

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:35, archived)

thanks!

i'll probably sail in the door, sign my name on the front of the paper and sail out again =)

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:38, archived)

you sould have today off...

that's not fair - good luck tho.
You rock, you'll be fine.

(

pep, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:40, archived)

thankyou!

today's exam is in fact about communications theory- you could pass the exam without knowing how to plug in a modem. but you do have to remember what everything fookin stands for- bleurgh.

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:42, archived)

re-cap

WTF - what the fuck
FFS - for fuck sake

you'll passs with flying colours now

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:51, archived)

And glass cock of any description

stands for LOL.

(

pep, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:57, archived)

there's always the icfh error-checking protocol

in the event of a transmission becoming distorted by a finger-spazz (fsz) the receiving node responds with an i can't fucking hummus packet (icfh/p)

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:16, archived)

PGTipsADS

Why The Fuck Did Fuckin PG Tips Take Those Fucking Monkey's Off foe some cunt's of Birds! What the fuck they was thinkin everyone loves monkeys cos they look so funny hahahahhahhahaha!!!!! its a monkey!! every Sunday Afternoon Me and my wife and with all are kids just to watch the monkeys up to no good like when kevin went to school on a saturday! i tell you those monkeys are fucked up! Like have you ever seen a monkey at school. but these birds! have you ever seen a pigion on a moble phone she is just annoying she is someone you wonna kick and then theres a owl who is annoying cos he think hes fecking so wise. infact they need to die! look at tetleysthey got raid of the tetley men for some facts about tea! just fucking fuck ups i tell ya!

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:11, archived)

yes

of course.
you stand up for what you believe!

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:13, archived)

its.sick

as.above

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:15, archived)

it's a good point

everyone loves monkeys.

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:17, archived)

munkis.r.kool

as.above

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:20, archived)

anybody know where

i can find an ASP folder protection script? i keep on finding gaping security holes in the site I'm building. boo, nay, etc.

(woah, using b3ta for work! what's going on?)

(

trumpet, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:00, archived)

try this place

here

(Sheng-ji, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:30, archived)

you, my friend

are a fookin' star.

Cheers.

(

trumpet, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:43, archived)

no prob

glad i could help

Im a star
hurrah
Im a poet
and i didn't even...

(Sheng-ji, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:49, archived)

well have a fantastic day everyone

I'm now going to wetherspoons for the rest of the day to big-up the queen and all the future taxes that will go to pay for the family to stay in their over exuberant lifestyles.

(PornDungeon, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:54, archived)

they

dont take any money from taxes.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:08, archived)

*cough* civil list *cough*

And that's before you start delving into the exceedingly murky world of Royal finances... the line between personal and official costs and property is not a well-defined one. There are many less obvious ways that the state and taxpayer contributes to the royal family which do not fall under the usual calculations about what's being given and what's being taken.

(dougal, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:57, archived)

they make more than they cost

but all this is all too poolitical

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:15, archived)

my.space.bar.is.not.workin

and.bote.letters.after.F.also.ve.at.key

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:42, archived)

in the words of every IT department everywhere...

have you tried rebooting?
(I think they would say that even if your monitor had exploded in your face!)

(PornDungeon, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:46, archived)

it could be the result of a

coffee keyboard incident

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:48, archived)

stupid.bastids

do.you.know.wo.i.blame.for.tis?.ve.swedis!

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:50, archived)

true

so.true.i.spilt.all.tea.over.it.oter.day.only.stops.workin.now

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:48, archived)

I spilt beer all over mine once

and it was fine.

That is until my dad spilt ribena on it.

Some drinks are more dangerous than others.

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:52, archived)

beer!

yea.te.overment.makes.a.bi.fuss.about.beer.killin.ppl.and.tat.ribeana.is.wrost.bi.fuckers!

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:56, archived)

indeed

keyboards seem to be designed to be impervious to beer, and for good reason. there are few keyboards that haven't at some point had to take half a pint. i've also dripped blood (too drunk to notice i was bleeding) into one and it worked the next day.

orange juice on the other hand is fatal to keyboards. keyboard designers are obviously alcoholics without any children

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:56, archived)

when i was 12

i spilt half a can of Export over a whole load of my amiga games. Then I lent one of them to a girl who i fancied rotten. it destroyed her brand new 1200 and she wasn't amused.

ah, those halycon schooldays.

(

trumpet, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:03, archived)

did it become

an alcoholic, then?

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:29, archived)

i did...

(

trumpet, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:37, archived)

*sigh*

alcohol, amigas and girls. childhood was great, wasn't it? jumpers for goalposts, etc.

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:40, archived)

Scroedinger revisited

(

moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:26, archived)

heheehe.

nice one.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:29, archived)

nooooooooo

another red x for me, thisse sucksors

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:42, archived)

There is a routing problem at one

of the telehouses, looks like a circular entry before the as1578.net peer.
So, the Internet in the UK is normal then.

(

moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:15, archived)

yeah somethingss upp

google.com redirects to google.nl :p

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:28, archived)

m3ss3nger's fucked

isnt it?

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:25, archived)

why

what u tryin to do?

(PornDungeon, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:39, archived)

read

the board from it.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:51, archived)

Shag the Queen

New sideline perhaps ?

(

Darryn.R, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:07, archived)

i wouldn't

say yes

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:19, archived)

bastard

sick hell fucking rot.

uuughhhh.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:22, archived)

IT support just sent everyone a 'probe'

to do an audit on their machines. We're supposed to send back a file that it produces. Anyone know what a .ez4 file is and how I might read it?

Photoshop 7 is at stake here.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:45, archived)

try notepad?

you can usually make some sense out of it....

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:46, archived)

Nope.

Complete binary mess.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:51, archived)

tell them you have

rights and don't like being probed, it messes with your emma roids

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:55, archived)

basically your buggered

Audit PCs and find installed programs, .exe and .dll's with detailed information including program names, version number, file location and more. If it's on your PC, E-Z Audit™ finds it! We don't rely on databases or pre-defined lists of software. You can also perform reverse searches on audited PCs to find PCs that do not have a specific program or .exe on it!

(PornDungeon, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:56, archived)

it's time like this

that I'm thankful my hard drive space is in 3 bits. Just put all the fun stuff on one of them and slip it out...

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:59, archived)

sounds like you could be

fucked.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:05, archived)

could he nick the file

from a clean 'puter?

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:04, archived)

yes

like an amiga or spectrum. perhaps the data will cause a huge microsoft type crash and take down every computer in the company! That'll be nice.

(PornDungeon, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:07, archived)

Thought of that

It audits hardware too, including machine name which happens to be my name.

Just installed ez-audit myself in order to view the file and the bugger won't let me edit it (obviously).

Director 7, Flash 5 and Potatoswap 7 and listed for all to see. And I have only one partition so nothing can be hidden.

EZ-Audit. Bah.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:09, archived)

read the faq

maybe there is something in there that you could use to make it not fucking hummus..

www.ezaudit.net/support/faq.htm

(PornDungeon, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:11, archived)

too late. I'm done for.

Doomed. Doomed.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:14, archived)

hae you got a cd burner?

no way you can burn the aps to cd for now, take them off for the audit &then reinstall?

(

pep, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:35, archived)

nope

I just ran it and sent it to them. I'll see what happens.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:41, archived)

hmmm - good luck then,

maybe if you can make a good case saying you need the apps they might let you off?
(ok, I only just got up - i may still be dreaming)

(

pep, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:48, archived)

how about

temporarily zipping everything in the folders in question! once youve run the audit again just unzip them! That'll work, won't it?

(PornDungeon, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:14, archived)

no, it scans the registry.

if you also export then delete all relevent registry keys you should be ok.
actually you probly dont need to zip the files

(

rockyrobin, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:16, archived)

it actually scans exe and dll's as well.

(PornDungeon, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:18, archived)

You do

It relies on both the files and the registry. It's awffy clever.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:19, archived)

change your machine name

to something lude in spite

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:24, archived)

do it through another machine, just change the machine name before you do.

if all else fails just plead absolute ignorance.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:24, archived)

or..

just reinstall it afterwards? Upload all your precious piccies somewhere and get them back later...

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:26, archived)

The IT mismanagement unit

here sent a guy around from their support company with an evaluation version of ez-audit to all the machines...
...it was set only to look for installed apps (not all EXEs) so I removed registry entries for Add/Remove with TweakUI before the guy came around.
Look for an ezaudit HTML file in your temp directory - that's what was left behind on mine.
BTW, Now my machine runs a full virus scan every morning which renders the PII 266, 64MB, 4GB sloooow IDE HD useless for 2-3 hours.
I am looking for another job.

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:28, archived)

We've got the same virus scanning problem

My machine now has the virus scanner disabled and a batch file that runs at startup that removes all default, admin and sms shares. I can't share things out, but I can use my machine and IT can't push anything onto it. I now run the virus scanner at a time of my choosing.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:33, archived)

Oooh, nice.

SMS is also crippling this shitbox...
...someone should tell them "This machine is already fucking slow, you dumb cunts"
I am trying to run fairly processor intensive GIS apps here... Maps appear like the curtain dropping at Albert Hall.

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:52, archived)

...

Anyone know how to make a phenol from an aryl sulphonic acid?

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:30, archived)

What an excellent way

to start the day.
Prodding pussy in the morning.
/coat

(

moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:37, archived)

crikey!

that deserves a repost spaztime...

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:38, archived)

is that a spaz?

i must have missed that- it's woo!

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:41, archived)

um yeah

I was sort of inspired by that...cheers!

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:45, archived)

hehehe

like it. I think i originaly posted that because someone wanted to know what a virtual bee would look like. or something.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:55, archived)

oh, you'd be thinking of

The bee in a one-dimensional box model.

No, it's good that I think of that cos I've got the exam tomorrow...

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:21, archived)

marvellous

almost makes me want to do a-level physics

or maybe not

(

bananaman, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:54, archived)

reduce

the aryl group, go from there

fucking synthesis

(skagg, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:52, archived)

birch reduction?

I prefer NaOH at 300 degrees

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:54, archived)

quicker

touche

(skagg, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:58, archived)

Dont know what made me think of this.

Higher res version here.
big
Well, nearly 400k

(

moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:24, archived)

that is

indeed random. congratulations.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:27, archived)

it's

died :(

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:02, archived)

what died?

and happy birthday sir!

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:04, archived)

cheers

both piccies won't load

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:05, archived)

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday dear b3tan
Happy birthday to you.

What error messages do you get?

(

moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:30, archived)

hmm.

i see all.

with my all-seeing eyes.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 9:31, archived)

One more.

As it seems to be a day for Kirk with animals.

(Vivid, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 7:00, archived)

surely that's..

..a 'harepiece'?

(gumboots, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:18, archived)

That was a luvverly dinner and I'm off to bed now.

Goodnight insomniacs or anyone else on Pacific time. *Yawn*

(Vivid, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 6:11, archived)

This is the last of 'em

I swear ...

(Deb, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 5:18, archived)

Google

We're all very pro-Google. I know I am. But this article worried me:
target="_blank">www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=13254
May repost in the (my) morning when more people are about.

(

winston_theramin, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 3:29, archived)

How do I

make it look 'clicky' rather than ugly HTML?

{edit} I'm sure by the time I wake up, I will massively have to timespazz to get an answer.

(

winston_theramin, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 3:31, archived)

well, i only know this 'cos i was educated yesterday

< a HREF="http://"www.whateverthefuckUlike.com">clicky< /a>"

minus the spaces after both the 'more than' symbol

(MiNK, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 5:14, archived)

Wha..?

John Malkovich threatened to shoot Gorgeous George? The bastard!

Oh.

In all seriousness, this is a bit disturbing. At least it's restricted to advertising, and (hopefully) not placement, but someone like Roddick would pull up a fair number of hits, and the Google advertising would be an important way of finding a personal/official site.

(dougal, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 4:27, archived)

That is

a bit of a worry. They can't do that!

(

Wifey, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 6:53, archived)

of course they can.

its their site. If you type anita roddick into google, her site still comes out top. If they took her out of the search engine, now that would be harsh.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:02, archived)

yeah, but

part of what makes google better than other searches is that they are lovely. if they stop being lovely, i might look for a new lovely search engine!

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:09, archived)

i think one of the things that makes them

lovely is the fact that they are the biggest and best search engine out there. As long as they dont actually censor the searches, they're not really doing anything bad. I hate on-line adverts anyway and think they should ALL be banned, so I'm not too bothered about one of Ms.Roddick's being pulled.

oo-er.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:30, archived)

true

i've never clicked on any of their adverts, so why am i worrying? i suppose i want to maintain my illusion that they are fluffy and nice *sigh*

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:36, archived)

noooooo!!!

google! how could you do this to us?

though to be fair, the comment about free speech on the internet dying off is a load of wank.

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 8:03, archived)

God save the Queen

The sound track and her the Lady herself
clicky

(Stu_Woody, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 3:26, archived)

What now?

And we just got rid of the giant neon space amoeba's.

(bluemerle, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 3:19, archived)

Sorry...

(edit: and of course woo and yay for giant killer space kittens)

(dougal, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 4:19, archived)

Woo and yay's to both you fine sirs.

Y'try telling people of the unalloyed malevolence of koot fuffy aminals but only B3tan's understand the true depths of their evil.

(Vivid, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 5:03, archived)

Now THAT's comedy!

houpla to you

(bluemerle, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:54, archived)

It's been awhile, so....

Everybody YAH-YAH!!!!

(Autoclave, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 3:17, archived)

That is ...

Awesome !

(Deb, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 3:59, archived)

Sorry; I can't seem to stop ...

I hope you can bear it ...

(Deb, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 2:06, archived)

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