A boy asks the shopkeeper if they have any of the new helicopter crisps.
"No sorry" he says "we only have the plane ones!"
What's your favourite crisp based joke, joke fans?
(
Pig Bodine., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:31,
Reply)
Have another:
I drove past some crisp packets so offered them a lift.
"No thanks" they replied "we're Walkers!"
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Pig Bodine., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:32,
Reply)
'A packet of salt & villigar crisps, please.'
'Im sorry sir?'
'Id like a packet of salt & villigar crisps, please.'
'Do you mean salt & vinegar?'
'I said villigar, diddle I?'
(
feckler https://twitter.com/LeonardEctric1, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:35,
Reply)
Pfft.
It were steak and kiddley pie in my day. And this were all fields.
(, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:40, Reply)
rumbled. the truth is...the truth isI don't know any crisp jokes.
There, I've said it.
(
feckler https://twitter.com/LeonardEctric1, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:50,
Reply)
Two crisps were walking down an alley.
One was a salted.
THIS JOKE IS BOLLOCKS WITHOUT PEANUTS.
(, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Two peanuts were walking down an alley.
One was a salted.
THIS JOKE IS AWESOME WITH PEANUTS!!
(, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:50, Reply)
A man got a peanut stuck in his ear so his wife poured some melted chocolate in.
Came out a treat.
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Pig Bodine., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:53,
Reply)
An icecream man was recently found dead in his van.
Apparently he was covered in hundreds and thousands and crushed PEANUTS and strawberry sauce.
Police think he topped himself.
(, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:40, Reply)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To buy some crisps.
(
skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:49,
Reply)
works better with nuts.
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feckler https://twitter.com/LeonardEctric1, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:55,
Reply)
LEAVE SKELLIE ALONE!!!!
She can't help her gender :(
Women ARE shit though, aren't they?
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Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:08,
Reply)
You just wish I was female because I refuse to sleep with you.
But thanks tabs. x
alot of the time yes
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skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:13,
Reply)
RIGHT THEN, DOGFUCKER: What flavour of crisps do men who are waiting to get their haircut eat?
Barbeque.
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Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:39,
Reply)
Sky News have just confirmed that the Leicester based company Walkers Crisps is to be taken over by a mega rich Arabian Consortium led by Sultan Sheikh.
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Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:39,
Reply)
What's a frog's favourite flavour of crisp?
Croaky Bacon.
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Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:44,
Reply)
What's a chiropodist's favourite flavour?
Cheese & Bunion
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Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:45,
Reply)
What's a millionaire's favourite flavour?
Pricey Tomato
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Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:45,
Reply)
And finally....
A duck walks into a bar and says "do you have any crisps?". The bartender replies, "No, we don't". Feeling sad the duck leaves. The next day the duck arrives and asks for crisps again. Sounding mildly annoyed, the bartender replies, "No", raising his voice slightly. Again, the duck leaves saddended. As usual the duck returns the next day and before he asks the bartender shouts "IF YoU ASK FOR CRISPS ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THE FUCKING BAR YOU CUNT!!" The duck leaves. The next day the bartender is relieved, asssuming the duck won't return after being shouted at. Moments later, the duck walks in and asks, "do you have any nails?" and the tender replies "No".
So the duck asks, "Got any crisps?"
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Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:51,
Reply)
Encore!
Although I can understand the duck's frustration. A lot of bars sell crisps nowadays.
(
Pig Bodine., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:52,
Reply)
The barman was probably refusing to serve him because he was using fowl language.
All other duck jokes below, please.
(, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 14:08, Reply)
A duck walks into a pharmacy, and asks for Chapstick. The cashier says, Cash or cheque? and the duck says, Just put it on my bill.
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skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 14:44,
Reply)
